I had a RELATIONSHIP with a STRIPPER (BIG MISTAKE)

UKadventure
I had a relationship with a Stripper for almost 2 years and I wish I found this website earlier after reading other peoples experience. I also need to share my experience too. Here's my story:

It was a BIG mistake, I met her at the local gentlemen club, I wasn't a regular, just went through a stage of going to a few strip clubs in a short space of time. I'm a good looking, confident guy, was out partying, having fun with lots of girls, just enjoying myself, as I'm only in my mid 20's. Forwarding on to that particular night I met her she was stunning, a few years older, managed to meet her outside the club, went of a few dates, succeeded in the bedroom department, sex was amazing, she seemed different nice, sweet, caring woman, someone you wouldn't expect working in that environment. So at this stage I was looking for a place so I decided to move in with her ANOTHER BIG mistake.

I thought I was SPECIAL and confident in trust-No way would she sleep with a customer. It was all going well but after a few months it started to change that's when all the ISSUES crept in- borderline personality disorders, anger issues, family issues, psychological issues, dual personalities, manipulation, lies, cheating, alcohol issues, drug issues. I just could not believe it, this woman was CRAZY, whole lots of DRAMA, mental issues. I was like her therapist listening to all her problems, and now she was my problem.

She was caught up in the life style of low self esteem and constant admiration. A life style of free drugs and alcohol. A life style of late nights, partying to the early hours, fast money and friends, many expensive gifts from customers. She would come home after work drunk 3, 4 times a night and a nasty drunk too. Sometimes she wouldnt come home, constant unanswered calls and then I realised I needed to get OUT!!!!! And thats what I DID!! And maybe I stayed too long but its FINALLY over!!

So my advice is to be VERY careful if you decide to get involved with a stripper. A lot of these clubs have disgusting people inside, its not just a job its a lifestyle. You would meet a women with so MANY issues, she will lie and do anything to customers to get MONEY but also she will lie and cheat to the people most close to them. If you think you start having feeling for a stripper GET ON the first train and never return because you will be on roller coaster of a ride. I'm not saying all strippers are like this, yes some pay for college etc but thats the minority. If you want to succeed in LIFE then leave the stripper behind because all she will do is drag you down

These women are damaged goods to begin with and if they stay in the industry to long they are permanently damaged and have no respect for men.

A bit of fun-yes, having a relationship-NO

So Goodluck and Takecare

33 comments

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Club_Goer_Seattle
11 years ago
UK, You're new to TUSCL. Welcome aboard. Your story is fairly common. Your relationship with her started out well, but in the end it caused you a lot of grief. Maybe the "moving in with her" part would have been better if you had assessed the situation for longer than you did.

One part that you didn't mention that usually accompanies this type of story is if you spent a lot of money to help her with her problems. Did you?

Otherwise it only caused you a lot of grief. Where I advise a lot of members in this situation is at the discovery of the drug problem. It's very likely that you'd have the ability or the patience to see her through that. I hope you left the relationship shortly after discovering the drug problem.

(Another tip for you. Your story was probably long enough to submit as an article, rather than a discussion item. Had you done so, you could have received an extra thirty days membership, unless you're already a paid member.)
UKadventure
11 years ago
Thank you for your quick reply. You are correct in assessing the situation better. At the beginning I was only in it for the sex too but then gradually it developed. Money was involved in supporting her but not by large amounts. Alcohol was the main problem as she would come back drunk most nights. I would not date a stripper again just because of my own experience. Maybe I blanked it all and thought she was different to the rest. But I'm sure she has dark hidden secrets like the rest of them. You live and learn my friend!
tumblingdice
11 years ago
GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD.
jackslash
11 years ago
You're preaching to the choir.
shadowcat
11 years ago
Makes me glad that I am too fucking old to even think about getting involved with a stripper.
ryanray
11 years ago
Good post. I unfortunately learned this the hard way when I was in my early 20's. Fun at first, great sex, but an absolute train wreck shortly after.
dallas702
11 years ago
Too many of us have learned difficult lessons about relationships with strippers. For some of us the result is bitterness. For others, callous disregard for the possible feelings of dancers. For most of us the bad experiences (and the good) teach us caution but also remind us that strange tail many sometimes be very expensive, but it is always very good.
Papi_Chulo
11 years ago
IMO the only way to “successfully” date a stripper is if you are at her level – i.e. you are into the party/drug/drunken scene and live one day at a time w/o preparing or seemingly giving a shit about tomorrow.

Also, if one is “dating” a stripper, either get used to her doing what she does or prepare yourself to maintain her 100% financially – she may even expect for you to maintain her so she can get out of the game and be a proper GF to you; or she may just expect for you to help her out financially b/c this is how her “relationships” w/ men work and are all about.

Most of these chicks’ lives revolve around $$$ and getting it via men.
deogol
11 years ago
Papi: Yep ^^^^
UKadventure
11 years ago
So true, very well said Papi_Chulo!!
tumblingdice
11 years ago
"possible feelings of dancers",thats funny.
UKadventure
11 years ago
To add to my post: These women are lazy how difficult it is to take your cloths off for $$ for 2 minutes work. Whilst the rest of us get up early in the morning for work, long hours and pay are taxes. And strippers expect everything from a man?
deogol
11 years ago
Yep ^^^
jester214
11 years ago
You don't sound jaded at all.
jester214
11 years ago
And by that I meant I think you're full of shit.
tumblingdice
11 years ago
So! Where ya from UK?
stenton1
11 years ago
I think all of us who have dated a stripper have come to the same conclusion. Between the hard partying lifestyle, drama, incredible lies, constant money demands, far exceed the quality of the sex.
It never ends well no matter what. I usually say, "what you can sell today, you won't be able to give away tomorrow!"
Ever met an ex long term stripper? They are so worn down. By that crazy life, that they are either sick, or a weathered bitter woman. Either way, don't EVER get involved. If you must, do pay for play OTC, and then walk away.
ilbbaicnl
11 years ago
Most strippers will not be right for you. Neither will most school teachers, most nurses, etc. Sounds to me like the author made the classic fuck-up, thinking with his little head. Unfortunately, instead of realizing it, he's making another classic fuck-up: thinking that you can know the character of people using simplistic categories. Rather than being wary with strangers until you get to know them over time, and not engaging in wishful thinking.
Joker420
11 years ago
I did this same thang....dated 3 years...I lived with her for 2 of them years.....I actually loved it....but I'm the guy papi is talking about.....I would do it again in a hart beat...I love these hoes....hell some body has to.....side note just get good at having your blinders on and iy will be ok....the ass and fast cash is nice
Subraman
11 years ago
Ha, pretty much par for the course. We should have a secret handshake. And maybe a special "I dated a stripper and all I got was PTSD" t-shirts
tumblingdice
11 years ago
Do you like pina coladas,getting caught in the rain?
sharkhunter
11 years ago
I never thought I was dating a stripper, just having fun away from the club. Well except those times when someone wanted me to stop by or I was in the area for whatever reason.

A dancer I know now who wants to date I am keeping my distance. However I have known a few dancers who got real jobs and quit working as dancers. I would like to think I have been a positive influence but I haven't been trying to get anyone to quit. Many of these ex dancers stay friendly with me after they are no longer dancers. I haven't been keeping phone numbers though. I wouldn't have minded getting the number of one girl who still looks pretty good who stopped me to say hi to me one night. I suddenly ran into her at a club.
stenton1
11 years ago
Interesting point. There is a stripper who left the business over a year ago. She now has a decent job in corporate America, and she's made it clear that she wants to date. I've kept her at arms length, but I may try to meet her for a date soon. She seems really down to earth and completely out of the stripper world.
We will see, I'm not rushing into it, but I don't want to stereotype her, I'm looking at it with both eyes wide open!
Clackport
11 years ago
I agree with VH_Kicks, if you're young and just looking for fun, go for it.
sharkhunter
11 years ago
Maybe I used to have the same mentality as some strippers. I used to occassionally drink a bit fast and thought the world was going to end before I reached 30. I probably got lucky a deer didn't go through my windshield. I remember one dancer was worried I wasn't going to make it until next week with some of the stories I told her. She used to worry a lot.
I stayed away from drugs. Someone asked if my younger brother had a death wish. I didn't quite know what they were talking about. Well except for a couple of times. I mean going rock climbing with no gear just bare hands and then he said it got really dangerous when it started raining.

Yep, one slip and he would be dead is the message I got. That was almost as stupid an idea as when he wanted to walk out on an ice ledge at 10,000 feet elevation next to a river that was falling down a massive cliff. We did not have mountain climbing gear on but we were on glaciers over 10,000 feet up. We were only 4.000 feet from the summit. It looked a lot steeper higher up. We were careful though. We grabbed the ice when we walked past a 10,000 foot drop off. Everyone else had spiked boots but we only had walking shoes on.

I remember talking to one dancer who said she once went over 150 on a motorcycle and said that was stupid and dangerous and she wouldn't do it again. I guess if you survive, you learn. Plus my brother said those Bugs going 100 mph are really hard to scrape off. We had some really fast bugs where I used to live. lol
sharkhunter
11 years ago
I wasn't crazy though. I never had a dancer move in with me. Although one girl said she would come over to my place every day if I got a job in her town and dance for me. Dance for me every day? Now I knew she was crazy. That was before she broke up with her boyfriend and I didn't realize she was thinking I would be next.
bang69
11 years ago
UK I've dated strippers. Some times it works & some times it doesn't. Sorry to here you had a bad experience. Don't let that get in the way. get back out there & have fun & be safe
Alucard
11 years ago
"I had a RELATIONSHIP with a STRIPPER (BIG MISTAKE)"

You're right.
georgmicrodong
11 years ago
I have, and have had, relationships with *lots* of strippers. Most of them worked out OK. Of course, my expectations are limited.
UKadventure
11 years ago
Thanks for all your comments. Some very interesting points of view. To conclude, I knew long term this relationship wouldn't work even before all the problems for this reason:

No man can accept their woman getting naked in-front of other men, private dances-grinding, tits in there face etc. Also the constant phone calls at all hours of the day. She gets chatted up every night she goes to work by 20, 30 men etc and do you believe you are the special one??? TRUST will be the hardest issue to deal with.

How can you have a normal relationship when your working Mon-Fri, and she works nights including most weekends. What other job can you drink and take drugs on a daily basis.How can you have your girlfriend getting degraded everytime she goes to work?

How can you explain to your friends and family what your girlfriend does, well you can't, it would be embarrassing.

In the UK majority of strippers do not pay tax.

Stripping is a very difficult job dealing with drunken men every night, long hours, and just being viewed as a piece of meat. Lazy is when a stripper stays in the industry to long and has no career plans, not investing all that money wisely. Yes not all stripper are the stereotype-women supporting their children or paying through college I respect those women!

I'm just coming from my own experience, all the stories I was told what goes on in those clubs, and see the effects of stripping does to someones HEALTH!

I just didn't look at the whole picture and I learnt the hard way. I will retire from having a relationship with a stripper but FUN i'll continue!!!

God bless you all and takecare
Alucard
11 years ago
"TRUST will be the hardest issue to deal with"

;)
GCMan
11 years ago
UK good thing you got out. You are right 90 percent are very bad gf choices. I'm divorced 5 yrs. ok plans to remarry. Do well and no problems with money or women. Rather focus on my child and when not doing that having a good time. Dated several strippers and normal girls. Dated one in particular 2 yrs and counting. Almost moved in twice together but backed out. Decided I couldn't handle the pressure of starting all over again. She was 28 and had 2 kids. 4 and 6 yrs old. 4 months after we started dating she quit dancing and never went back. She is going to bc a nurse soon but in all honesty still is screwed in the head when it comes to her thinking about men. She knows she looks good and if I don't put her in her place every so often by breaking up with her and cutting her off she would think it's ok to run roughshod over me. So unless you are the kind of guy that can be "I don't give a F". Never date a stripper or ex stripper. Glad you got out. And good advice for everyone else man.
alabegonz
10 years ago
"TRUST will be the hardest issue to deal with" -- Alucard.

That is so frigging funny, Alucard. Trust , yes to a certain level but that is a kind of trust normally suited for strippers. Trust her that she will

Ukadventure went in too far and got burned. I'm still there holding the candle, hoping I don't drop it.

But having any kind of relationship with a stripper/dancer is absolutely retarded.

So many nuggets of gold/truth in this thread, it's like I wrote this page.
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