Joke of the Day
motorhead
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life
Q: What did the left nut say to the right nut?
A: Don´t talk to the guy in the middle, he´s a dick.
A: Don´t talk to the guy in the middle, he´s a dick.
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26 comments
You have to put on a raincoat every time you go out to play.
The two that live below you are nuts.
Sometimes you get put into a dark tunnel.
While your in that dark tunnel someone repeatedly rams you in and out until you throw up
Do you guys have any male friends that you spend time with and crack jokes like this with, or does is forum your substitute for that? Because you might want to consider finding some guy friends who you can have a beer with and joke about fudge packers and dicks and shit. It's really a lot more fun when you're all drunk and watching a game and eating and joking around. And jokes are a LOT funnier like that. On a forum like this you lose a lot when you're just reading stuff. It's funnier when someone actually cuts a fart and makes you smell it and shit. Really. It's fucking hilarious.
Don't get angry...Just trying to be helpful.
It wasn't a joke. You just made my point. You know what
I'm saying?
But you didn't answer my question...do you have any friends you can joke with like this? Isn't that a legit question?
When I saw your username or whatever it's called, "motorhead", I assumed it was because you're a fan of that metal group from back in the '70's, right?
Now I thought I knew most of the bands from that time pretty well cuz that's when I was growing up, but honestly for the life of me I can't remember shit about Motorhead. And I *thought* that was because they totally sucked. Which isn't a criticism of you at all, just my opinion based on my fuzzy recollection and the fact I can't think of even ONE song they did that was the least bit popular. And with bands like Zeppelin around, why would you choose Motorhead?
Again, I'm not criticizing you at all, just really interested what it was about them that you like so much? Maybe I just missed a really good band...
No, I don't have any friends. So now I just pay strippers to make me cum in my pants for $10 a pop Strippers are better than real friends. They don't make you watch Dancing With the Stars or ask you, "do these jeans make my butt look fat?"
To be honest, when I was younger, I didn't know Motörhead either. I was into into more mainstream music like Zeppelin, AC/DC, Jimi Hendrix, the Doors. Even dug Motown. The Four Tops, the Supremes, The Temptations.
But there was a local DJ that all he talked about was Lemmy. Day after day. So I looked him up, played some of their music. Loved most of it. Especially Ace of Spades. About thar time I joined TUSCL, I liked the similar bane with the Motor City where I go to some clubs - so just thought it would be a unique name.
Now, I'm always impressed with other members who are fans since it's a band that doesn't get a lot of mainstream radio play.
If you're a fan of the Walking Dead, in the episode where Merle died late thus season, he was playing a Motörhead song in the car to draw in the walkers.
So are they still composing stuff, or just playing their old tunes? And you just got into them around 2006? That's wild, because I hadn't even heard their name for decades until I saw your username.
I'll have to check them out now. Thanks.
A They've always got some nuts in their mouth.
Q Why are strippers like blunts?
A They get passed around until they're all used up and then they get thrown away.
Q What does it mean if I'm banging a stripper and she starts foaming at the mouth?
A She's full.
Q Why are strippers like paleontologists?
A They make their living by touching old bones.
Q Why is a stripper like a door knob?
A Everybody gets a turn.
Juice Crew!
True...funny as shit but true!!!
'I don't want to know,' the child said, bursting into tears. 'Promise me you won't tell me.'
Confused, the father asked what was wrong.
The boy sobbed, 'When I was seven I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech.
At nine, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech.
When I was ten, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.
So if you're about to tell me that grown-ups don't really fuck, I'll have nothing left to live for.'