gas in the club

As the creator of that thread, I'll answer.

I banged one out next to a stripper I didn't like. It was an eggie motherfucker too. She sat there and endured it. She even went as far as inhaling deeply then smiling at me like I gave her a gift on Christmas morning. That's when I knew...she was the one.

I'm interested to see Jester's response here, as I'm aware of his relationship with the farts... :)

I have. Was in Vegas at Sapphire after an after hours party, so that puts us at maybe 5 am and later. This also means I was out all night, eating, drinking and partying. Probably hot not dropped a deuce in over 12 hours. At this time of the morning, there were maybe 2-3 girls, and the cleaning staff. lol. was one of the best strip club trips I ever had - had a really hot chick giving me a neverending lap dance (probably dropped $300 on her) but she had a bullet vibrator in her pussy, and she explained there was no need for VIP or champagne room. Just tip the waitress to leave us alone and lets play. Well she brought me to completion at least twice and going into hour 2 (i assume) she was putting pressure on ym gut and I tore ass beyond belief. She started choking and got super pissed. Got off me, cursed me out and stormed off. I went to the bathroom to take a huge dump - mens room was being cleaned. So I went in the ladies room. Sitting on the bowl doing my business, i hear her and another stripper come in and she is bitching about me. I started laughing while I was taking a dump. they didnt realize I was there. 20 mins later, I am still one of the only guys left - another $100 and she was right back on my lap with the bullet vibe. I told her I took care of the problem, now I can take care of her. Lol. This led to my one and only OTC experience - she joined us later in the day with some stripper friends at Tao Beach in our VIP cabana. They were hot and sexxy, and by 5 pm we were all back in the hotel room having a group fuck. Morale of the story - always fart on a stripper. It is a sign of true love.

@ STAX that is funny. You should have married that one. I sat on my ex wifes lap and let one rip before I dated her. She loved it lol

Bomber... I don't think I would be able to laugh quietly in that situation...lol is that why your handle is bomber?

Being that we're talking lapdances, how do you let one go on her? What's she doing below you? Is this some backwards lapdance routine?

Esta I gave her a lapdance

one day in da club had taco bell before going in. big mistake, fucking cheese, meat, onions, hot sause fuck my stomach up. i couldnt shit it out but came to the point of extreme wind every minute. after an hour it finally settled so i got a lap dance finally. well to my shigrin that shyt was building up for the perfect moment when the girl was on my lap grindnig hard as hell. and as luck has it it was a long metallica song. i held it in as long as possible to the point of cramping. and the more i tried to sit up to hold it in teh more she thought i was into teh dance and grinded harder. eventually she bounce her ass on my gut and damn instant belly relief. i tried to play it off like it was the chair and quickly lighted a cig bit it was a stinky mutha-fuka too. she got up and left cursing up a storm but the bright side was it was a free dance.
so the morale of the story alway fart at teh end of the dance for teh dance to be free

I should've married her. She gave me one single lap dance. Then I never saw her again...until the next time I saw her again.

Eeeeewwwwwwwwwwww

You see folks, you gots ta eat lots o' Taco Bell bean burritos. And some that shizzle they call refrieds (that AIN'T refried beans my friend, in fact you don't wanna know what that shizzle is. Then ya take tha strippah home fer some OTC. Then hold he covers over her head & let it mothafuckin' RIP. good times...good times!

Now we gotta hear hoe Juice would do it. I bet that crazy fuck would do somethin' mothafuckin' disgusting. But ya never know...sometimes the Juice is surprisingly genteel. Juice crew!

The music is so loud in some clubs, you would never hear anyone fart, belch or anything. The smoke smell drowns out most other odors as well.

I once knew a dancer who was laughing remembering how she bought a phone message machine that would make fart sounds when she put someone on hold. She bought it for telemarketers before there was a do not call list. Phone rang, telemarketer on the line, she asked if the guy could hold because she just ate a bean burrito. She started the machine, nothing but gas sounds. She said she checked back after fifteen minutes and the guy was still there,lol. She put him back on hold.

I had a dancer once that stuck her crotch in my face and the smell was so bad it gagged me. Later, during the dance when she put her head between my legs, I farted and said now we're even.