I'll start.
One time I was in casino in Vegas and bumped into jester214 who had just lost alot of money gambling. To kick a guy when he's down I farted in his face!
In case y'all are wondering, now is the time to sing Bieber songs. I'll stat... FART... FART... FAAAAART! fuck yeah FART
please, continue... but with dignity
Staxavelli: "Hey jester how many farts do you have to eat before you finally crack a smile?
jester: "I don't know I just eat them."
Staxavelli: "But the world wants to know."
jester: "Okay, let's find out. A one...a two...a three..."
jester: "A hundred...a hundred and a two...I...I don't think this is gonna happen, Stax. I've never smiled before, and as much as I love the taste of these farts, especially the silent ones, I just don't think it's gonna happen..."
jester: "But do you mind if I keep eating these farts?...A hundred and a three..."
Staxavelli: "How many farts does jester have to eat before he finally cracks a smile?...The world may never know."
A guy goes to the cathouse for the first time. The madame asks him what he would like. He was nervous and said that he wasn't sure what was available. The madame told him that she had just the girl for him. The girl led him to the room and they both undressed. She told him that he would just love 69. They started to go at it when the girl rips a fart right in his face. She apologized and blamed it on the Mexican food she just had. They go back at it and she lets go with the nastiest fart ever. Again she apologized and said that this had never happened to her before. The guy got up and started putting his clothes back on while gagging and told her I don't think that I can take 67 more of those.
How come we had to read down to the sixth comment to find the first actual fart joke?
Ok, here's an old one you've probably heard.
An old couple is sitting in church one morning, listening to a sermon, when the wife whispers, "I just let out a silent fart. What should I do?"
Her husband whispers back, "Well, for starters, you can put a new battery in your hearing aid."
Ok, a lonely widowed man decides to go to the local brothel. He never tried 69 before so he tries it with the girl. They get into it, then the girl gives off a smelly fart. The man is stunned but keeps going. She lets off another smelly fart. The man stops and says," I'm having a great time, but I have to stop! I can't take another 67 of those"!
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