Why are people embarrassed to go to a strip club?

avatar for Electronman
Electronman
Too much of a good thing is never enough
In a recent discussion about the prospects of placing strip clubs in airports, some people mentioned that potential customers might be too embarrassed to be seen entering an airport-based strip club.

In general, why are so many people embarrassed to be seen entering a strip club or enjoying a strip club?

The somewhat obvious answer to the above question is that your private behavior (enjoying a strip club) is incompatible with your role expectations (e.g., as a parent, as a spouse, in your job) or it is incompatible with a public image that you portray (as a promoter of certain moral virtues).

Am I missing an obvious source of embarrassment? Said another way, how do we get people to be less embarrassed about their strip club activities?

31 comments

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avatar for Doc_Holliday
Doc_Holliday
12 years ago
It all boils down to infidelity and Puritan roots.
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
12 years ago
Disagree with doc. Think it's more the perception that guys who go to SCs often are cheating on their wives and/or can't get pussy for free. Talk about far-fetched notions, huh!?
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
12 years ago
Also the other notion that the women who work there are just stupid, lying, thieving, whores. Talk about another extraordinary popular delusion! At least we on TUSCL know better and are try to educate the general population otherwise.
avatar for harrydave
harrydave
12 years ago
If we had strip clubs at airports, I would then like to see a remake of "Airplane". We all know where the Captain and 1st Officer would be before the flight.
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
12 years ago
Only conservatives think they have some moral high ground to defend.
avatar for DandyDan
DandyDan
12 years ago
The one definitive time I was embarrassed to be in a strip club, it was because the head honchos of my employer were there. I don't want them to know about my private life and when I go to a strip club, that's time for myself, where I can avoid everybody I know. Of course, the irony is that one of the times I went with a group from work, it was a bachelor party for one of the current managers, who was just another employee then.
avatar for sclvr5005
sclvr5005
12 years ago
Some people are embarrassed to be seen walking into strip clubs? That's a new one to me. If someone is so uncomfortable as to be seen entering one, maybe they don't belong there in the first place
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
12 years ago
gf,

A rather general statement. Do you truly believe that liberals have no "moral high ground" that they defend? I would venture a guess that most ALL Catholic voters believe they are "moral" and will defend that standing, yet the majority voted for the VERY liberal obama.
avatar for endlesstempo
endlesstempo
12 years ago
Politics aside, I think there's a puritanical aspect of American society that views strip clubs as sinful, distasteful, and a variety of other terrible things.

A lot of people can't accept the fact that it's just recreation; they can't accept that it's entertainment and insist it's something far more sinister. I think there is a big majority of people who believe that a man who goes to a strip club must be some kind of hypersexual, unfaithful man whose sex drive is too high. These are the same people who believe that any woman who dances in a strip club must be one with loose morals, low self-esteem and no future. They don't consider her an entertainer.

Sadly there are cases where those stereotypes hold true but I don't think there's really that big a population that fits those perceived stereotypes.
avatar for jester214
jester214
12 years ago
I know plenty of reasonable people who think strip clubs are A. simply inappropriate B. hotbeds of illegal vice C. both

As most of us know B is often accurate.

In general people don't like to be judged. Especially the hypocrites.
avatar for Tiredtraveler
Tiredtraveler
12 years ago
Conservative or Liberal they all are hypocrits. They say do as I say not as I do and have mistresses or butt buddies on the side and many of them pay. Nancy Pelosi has to hang pork chop around her neck to get the dog to come near her. Who can blame Bill for Monica the two legged cigar humidore, compared to Hillary, Monica is a beauty queen(size).
I once went to a club in Cleveland and a church gropup was picketing and writing down license plates. The club was in an industrial area well away from houses, churches and schools. They were doing it to get on the news.
avatar for Revo
Revo
12 years ago
So many negative and ashamed attitudes about sex in our society. Humans were meant to have a lot of sex both men and women. Why have we allowed it to be a source of shame?
avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
12 years ago
I think they are afraid of being perceived as a loser that has to pay for woman's attention. So many use qualifiers such as only going for a bachelor or birthday party like they would be a loser to go alone or something.
avatar for Doc_Holliday
Doc_Holliday
12 years ago
Why you always at the strip club?
'cus that's where the naked women at.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8FIb3uVt…
avatar for txtittyfan
txtittyfan
12 years ago
Those that are embarrassed going in are probably not as embarrassed when they leave.
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
12 years ago
Twice I've been stopped by the police after leaving a club. (for some reason cops like stopping people at 3 am). I wasn't drinking either time but was still asked "where was I coming from". For some reason I *was* embarrassed to admit to a cop I spent the night at a Titty club. Even though one was a Deja Vu juice bar, I still hated to admit I was a dateless loser.
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
12 years ago
Clubber, there are probably some Catholics who voted for Obama but I do not know of any myself and I know a few. A lot of Catholics resented Obama forcing his government views onto their religious beliefs with his health care mandates. Well that is probably just the tip of it all. I resent Obama and the democrats continuing the stripping of freedoms of all Americans. He is like Bush II but some people must like being slaves who can now be detained without a trial if the government decides they want to label you first. Obama has been great for gun sales as many are afraid the right to bear arms is next on the agenda. Destruction of our currency seems to be a higher priority though.

Many people I know believe we are all screwed now. Higher payroll taxes come Jan 1st. Higher health care premiums come Jan 1st 2014 when Obama care health taxes kick in. Plus some democrats talking about raising taxes on 401k plans and even possible new taxes on the portion of health insurance premiums our employers pay. I can only hope I don't have to pay a whole lot more. The democrats are really working on raising taxes. I'm wondering how much I'm going to need to cut back on my spending. My last pay raise was pitiful. I could move but I feel screwed no matter what. If I were to listen to politicians, I would probably be labeled the lower middle class who is not going to see any tax increase. Yeah right. Who do they think pays higher electric bills or higher gas costs if they add carbon taxes to utility companies? We have a lot of elected idiots. my rant
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
12 years ago
Bak on topic, airports are out of my way. Most of the time when I visit, I am with female relatives whom I would not want to discuss it with. Plus since my company cut back travel, I rarely fly anymore, knocking on wood now.

If I was traveling and had time between flights, I would visit a club at the airport.

I just do not discuss strip clubs with any of my female relatives. It would likely only ask for trouble.
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
12 years ago
Being with a female who was arguing and bitching about something like forever would not be enjoyable. One of my female relatives complained about me watching spike tv over at another relatives house. You can argue and gripe right back but sometimes you think for the short amount of time the female relatives are around, just avoid stuff. I leave things I enjoy for times and with other people who enjoy the same things.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
12 years ago
shark,

In the source I checked, it was 52-48 obama.
avatar for mmdv26
mmdv26
12 years ago
When people see a guy going in a strip club, it reminds them that he is a PL....I mean really, wouldn't a real man - a strong, upstanding, righteous, intelligent, successful man - have a 20-something looking trophy wife who does pole dances in his bedroom, likes the taste of his jiz, and doesn't mind getting slapped on the ass?
avatar for Electronman
Electronman
12 years ago
Interesting answers. One way to think about your own personal source of embarrassment is to ask what are the conditions where embarrassment increases or decreases.

1. Are you less embarrassed when seen by people you do NOT know versus people that you do know?

2. Assuming that you are more embarrassed to be seen by people that you DO know, does it matter who sees you at a SC? Where is the bigger source of embarrassed: co-workers, friends, family members. Would you be less embarrassed to be seen by male friends who already know about and maybe share your interests in naked women? Why?

I suspect that one source of embarrassment is encountering people who know you in a role that may be incompatible with the values that you seem to be endorsing by going to a strip club. Of course another source of concern (maybe more anxiety than embarrassment) would be repercussions that your SC enthusiasm could have for your other role (word of your SC visiting habits get back to spouse, family members, employers, church group, etc.).

For me, I tend to limit the risk of encountering someone who knows me in a different role by visiting clubs that are some distance from my home.

Of course it also helps to have a reasonable explanation if you encounter someone that you know in a SC-- for me I have noted that "I have a weakness for food, liquid, warmth and naked women. It is not really my personal fault or weakness. It is a human "design" flaw so blame it on God or evolution."
avatar for berge1
berge1
12 years ago
OK. You guys put your money where your mouthes are! I don't care who knows where I go ... I am taking my ATF to my company's Christmas Party. Do I really care what people will say? Probably all the men will be envious! She is a 21 year old with a perfect body and face...was in Maxim. The women will be appalled, but will end up talking to her for fashion tips. I will be smiling ... a lot. But I am just being myself. Oh... by the way, I am 61. Here is something to remember guys.....
BE YOURSELF
Ones who matter don't care...Ones who care don't matter!
avatar for Estafador
Estafador
12 years ago
yikes, really wish you didn't say you were 61 bro. I assumed you guys were older, but I always had the image of the monopoly man in my head when i think of you guys. now I gotta think of a fat sag cat.
avatar for WhatsMyNameAgain
WhatsMyNameAgain
12 years ago
Gatorfan, I think you are mistaken. Progressives/liberals, what have you also try to go for moral high ground. I live in california and remember seeing on the news, when I was young, protests by individuals, groups, and politicians, all whom could not have been Conservatives. I know democrats that try to walk a fine line between morals and physical reality.

As for the puritan beliefs the second poster brought up, that reinforces it, but there is more in play then that as someone suggested that it may point towards being a cheater.

What it comes down to is the social norm. Sure, religions and political beliefs have played a role in it's development, but it is primarily rooted between how women perceive men that go to stripclubs. if you are single and go, then you must be a disgusting male that has been rejected by every female out there and that they should avoid you for good reason. They also start to think you have a loving relationship with prostitutes. If you are in a relationship then they start to think you are going because you want to be with someone else, or that you are. You also don't really love the one you are with because you want someone else and are willing to pay to see it.

It is how the idea of going online to check some porn can be seen as a reason to get a divorce for some. It is one thing if the guy just wants to check out some chicks, its another if he is online 12 hours a day looking at porn. One is actually normal, the other is a sign of a problem and most likely with the relationship, not the porn viewing individual's mind.

The reason I point out that this has nothing to do with puritan views is that not all cultures are influenced by them. Sure, you could attempt to say so here in America, but how many other nations can you name where people tend to have relationships consisting of 1 man and 1 woman, verus 1 male and many women, or 1 woman and many men in a relationship. I am not talking about cheaters, but living together in a relationship that the others of the same gender know and acknowledge each other. It is based upon this system of pairing of one of each gender together, no more.

The biggest problem is that people talk about getting a BJ from a stripper. Rumors of sleeping with the strippers and so on. This all adds up to a bad reputation, which leads women to see strip clubs as being nothing more then a brothel, therefore if you go you are a loser and a cheat.

Now if people know you can go in, have a drink, have a bit of a conversation, get a lapdance that is not you trying to bang the stripper, people might start to change their minds. In a sense if we can get the non-strippy women to stop feeling that their monopoly on men having sex is being threatened by women that will be upfront and honest by asking for the cash, then stripclubs would be easier for them to accept. They want to use sex as a means of controlling a man. If that control is threatened then they will react negatively because what is going to make a guy keep her around if he can go spend his money to get some? Her strength in a relationship is balanced out if the male can use one of his to gain what he wants.
avatar for sclvr5005
sclvr5005
12 years ago
^^^uh...yeah. whatever.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
12 years ago
WhatsMyName is right. Extremists on both sides of the aisle have been doing their best to fuck up, and ultimately eliminate, SCs. On the right are the religious nuts and on the left are the feminazis and their sympathizers.

While the religious nuts seem to be a little more concerned about the nudity aspect (pasties and pantie requirements) (AL,AR,VA), the nuts on the left do everything to ensure that a customer cannot touch a dancer in a club (MA, DC, isolated cities in various states). And the extremists on both sides fight vigorously to prevent the opening of any new clubs in all of the aforementioned areas.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
12 years ago
When I said that WhatsMyName is right, I only meant insofar as liberals are also guilty of going after SCs. The rest of that stuff...whew.
avatar for sclvr5005
sclvr5005
12 years ago
I bristle when I see people lumped together as if they all share the same ideology. I know plenty of liberals, feminists, civilian women and even some who call themselves "conservative" that are very sex industry friendly.
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
12 years ago
"The biggest problem is that people talk about getting a BJ from a stripper. Rumors of sleeping with the strippers and so on. This all adds up to a bad reputation, which leads women to see strip clubs as being nothing more then a brothel, therefore if you go you are a loser and a cheat."


Well the thing is that's all true!
avatar for WhatsMyNameAgain
WhatsMyNameAgain
12 years ago
I don't know, it's not true of a lot of people. A lot just go and get a dance, hang about, then move on to hang out at another place. of a handful of people I know that have mentioned stripclubs, the furthest anyone has suggested has happened is FIV and one chick grabbing the guy's sack. Other then that, nothin. Maybe its the clubs here, maybe it's that no one has asked, maybe the milage isn't there, or none have been regular enough to be considered for such extras.

SCLVR, you can bristle, but both sides have those on a crusade against the 'evils of stripclubs'! I'm a conservative, more in the sense of the government being properly run, not run into massive debt. As for religion, its there, but not hardcore. Nor do I care for the government getting overly involved in our lives.
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