You think you have problems?

Jul 24, 2012, 7:27 AM

THE owner of the world's largest penis was stopped by airport security because they thought he was smuggling a suspect package.

Jonah Falcon was put through intense questioning by staff at San Francisco International Airport after they feared he was trying to sneak through an illegal item.

But the guard who frisked him had merely come across the 41-year-old's impressive phallus.

The well-endowed American's penis is 9 inches when flaccid, and 13.5 inches when erect.

His manhood was hailed as the world's largest on record after he appeared in a TV documentary in 1999.

So concerned were staff that they even threw powder on his trousers as they checked for explosives.

But to prevent any further embarrassing episodes, Johan has vowed to wear lycra cycling shorts when travelling in future

comments (12)

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Pablo Antonio13 years ago

If the TSA was half as smart as the strippers in my favorite clubs, they would know a big dick when they felt one.

Alucard13 years ago

This kind of shit is why I don't fly any longer. Geez!!!!!

motorhead13 years ago

"is that a pipe bomb in your underwear or are just happy to see me"

georgmicrodong13 years ago

I'll stop complaining now.

EarlTee13 years ago

The proverbial weapon of ass destruction.

Ermita_Nights13 years ago

I don't think it's actually an "illegal item." I can't find it in the penile code.

MADDOG_ROMEO13 years ago

This is the kind of shit which forced me to get a second penis reduction....

Cheo_D13 years ago

Had I a unit like that I'd be flying every week just for the hell of it and saying "I choose the pat-down rather than the scanner" every other time (half the time, let them first think there must be a malfunction in the nude-o-scope).

sharkhunter13 years ago

All they need to do is have a line with female exotic dancers doing the frisking and a notice that they will squeeze your package to ensure it's not suspicious. They could prescreen several willing people and speed up the process. Well unless someone took Viagra first and she thought it was too hard to be real. That might require a separate room where she could suck on it to get a required semen sample. If she says it tastes real, you're good. hmm, travel by airplane might increase if there weren't too many complaints.

MADDOG_ROMEO13 years ago

Sharkhunter, you may very well have created a whole new industry right there....Not to mention reviving the airline industry....Brilliant!!!

Ermita_Nights13 years ago

Great idea, Shark. Next time I fly, I'm going to tell TSA they can suck my dick.

motorhead13 years ago

If you read some of the other articles, Falcon was quoted as saying : "I had my stuff strapped to the left".

For all the rest of world that doesn't have a 9" flaccid penis, our consolation prize is we don't have to "strap down our stuff" before going out in public. Thank God for small favors.