little joke for you guys
kingcripple
Texas
A pickle, cucumber and penis are talking the pickle says "man my life sucks. when i get big fat and juicy, they sprinkle seasonings over me and put me in a jar." the cucumber laughs and says "you think thats bad. when i get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me in a salad." the penis then says "none of that compares to what i go through. when i get big fat and juicy, they put a plastic bag over my head, put me in a dark smelly room and make me do pushups until i throw up"
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So she rubbed it out again, and went on with the lesson. Again next day, in larger letters, there was the word "penis" again. With a red face she rubbed it out and went on with the lesson. Well, this went on for a whole week, every day the word penis getting bigger. Finally, on Friday she went into the classroom to find chalked up: "See, the harder you rub it, the bigger it gets!"
Here's another oldie that many of us can relate to:
A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says.
She replies, "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free."
The husband thinks for a moment, runs upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"
#1: "I'm going to sleep down in the pussy where it's nice and warm."
#2: "I tried that last winter. Never again."
#1: "Why not?"
#2: "Well it was really nice for a few hours. I was warm and in a deep sleep. When all of a sudden, this bald guy broke in, punched me out, and then spit on me."