Growing tired of a particular dancer

17 comments

• chandler

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  18 years ago

  FONDL: I understand that that's your approach from many previous discussions. (And how!) Here, however, Yank was clearly asking for advice on handling the situation while staying at the same club. If he had said there were no other girls there he was interested in, that would be another matter.
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  Chandler, to me the girl is the main reason I go to a particular club. Whenever I'm between regulars I keep circulating among different clubs until I find a girl I really like, than I keep going there until it runs it's course. So when I grow tired of the girl I'm generally tired of the club too. And I like to try new clubs. But I'm in an area where there are a great many decent clubs to choose from - eg. 3 of the top 10 clubs are places I've frequented and within my general clubbing territory. The only reason for me to keep going to a particular club is if I have a regular there.
• casualguy

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  18 years ago

  If I'm in a club where I usually buy dances, I usually don't limit myself to just one or two dancers unless it's a bad night in terms of choices. With more choices, if you lose interest in one, you can pick up your interest with the others. I actually once had a dancer who I was seeing outside of the club seem to be a bit upset that I was spending a bit of time with another dancer. However I thought that was really unusual. She got over it rather fast. If you're not sleeping with multiple dancers and you're just getting dances from them in a club, I don't believe they have any good reason to be upset. Of course some girls are drama queens.
• minnow

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  18 years ago

  Firstly, I rarely buy dances from just 1 dancer. So, my regular & quasiregular dancers know that. As most any club has constant turnover/influx, "favorites" can rise and fall in personal rankings. It can cut both ways, too. Some faves have "Whales", and VIP Hogs, leaving me to fend off mediocres/less attractive, or, more often get a good 2nd stringer. I'm with Chandler on "feelings/ego. I'm surmising(assuming) that board posters go to club once every week or 2, Your "tired of" dancer is raking in good $ from other customers 3-4 other days/wk, she'll get over it.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  FONDL: Good for you but that's what practically everbody else in this thread is talking about. Anyone who, despite wanting to get dances with other girls, runs off to a different club is running from something, no matter how you care to spin it.
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  "Running off to a different club would be hiding from myself, not her." That's probably true for some people but I don't think it's true in my case. I go to clubs to have fun. If there's an uncomfortable environment it's going to detract from my fun. So I'd rather go elsewhere. I'm not running away from anything, I'm running toward the place where I'm likely to have the most fun.
• AbbieNormal

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  18 years ago

  I felt uncomfortable when my old barber saw me in a different barber shop. A buisness relationship doesn't preclude some personal involvement or emotion as FONDL and Lopaw have said. Pride if nothing else could be at stake for a dancer. That said, Chandler is also right. They'll probably get over it.
• Golfer99

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  18 years ago

  I've had that happen. It just seemed that after the initial excitement the dances seemed to get abit mechanical. Doesn't happen much to me because I can't come to a club on a daily or usually even weekly basis but I just still be nice and tip but decline the laps dancers seem to understand and sometimes ask if they can do anything a little different to get back in favor so they figure it out too.
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  Lopaw, I agree with you. Having a job and having feelings are not mutually exclusive. I think the answer to this question is different for people like me who enjoy focusing on and getting to really know one dancer at a time vs. people like Shadowcat who like having many on their favorites list. When you really get to know someone sometimes they turn out not to be as interesting as you initially thought. That's happened to me many times. At that point I'm usually more comfortable just moving on to another club.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  Lopaw: It's pretty hard for me to dispute the "woman factor". However, I think any hurt they feel is due to ego more than heart. It's about being judged less desirable rather than pining over lost affection. She gets over that as quickly as the next customer who comes along to desire her. That's one thing about the tranisitory nature of strip clubs. Besides, going to a different club would just mean spreading the pain of rejection to another group of dancers, wouldn't it? Even taking into account that dancers are women, I think it's by far the customers who linger over the emotional aftereffects. They avoid the girl they've tired of out of concern THEY will get all choked up. Huge's post certainly illustrates that. My attitude is like Shadowcat's. Just because I stop getting dances from a girl doesn't mean I can't tip her and smile when she passes. Running off to a different club would be hiding from myself, not her. (Sorry if that sounds like counseler-ese, but it's true.)
• DandyDan

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  18 years ago

  I grow tired of dancers all the time and I have avoided clubs just for that reason. I've even had the situation turn itself on its head by avoiding the club, going to a different club and seeing her there. I just can't do the same old same old each time. My favorites instinctively understand this, or so it seems. Hell, some of them will introduce me to new dancers when they think I want someone else.
• lopaw

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  18 years ago

  I dunno, chandler.True, they may be professionals, but first & foremost they are women, and no matter how jaded they can be, some are bound to feel hurt when rejected. I have been guilty of avoiding a certain club for fear of running into a former ATF that I grew tired of. I try to remember that it's their job, but I guess I'm an old softy.
• hugevladfan

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  18 years ago

  In my case I feel the reverse is true with one stripper. I will patently avoid the club she frequents now simply because seeing her would be a major pain in the head. No matter how much I condition myself that I could handle juss such a meeting I know there's no way on earth I would make it through unscathed. The damndest feeling in the fucking world. Juss passing by the place on a Friday night accelerated my heartbeat for two subsequent hours (and I am in peak shape).
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  No. Dancers work for money, not feelings. Customers tire of them all the time. It's a natural part of the business. If there's any drama, it's on your part, or she's acting in order to make you think twice. There should be no need to explain anything or ask for her understanding, and no reason whatsoever to avoid her or the club.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  Obviously, I didn't say people don't have feelings, just that dancers don't take these things personally like you may imagine. For her to make you uncomfortable about trying other dancers would be highly unprofessional. Why cater to that kind of silliness? Relax and enjoy playing the field if you want.
• token

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  18 years ago

  To me its not about me leaving or getting away from a dancer/club. I've had dancers tell me that a dancer has told them that I am her customer and to leave me alone. So there I sat wondering why all the newbies and hotties were on ignore. Bottom line...get up, tip other ones, offer to buy a drink/dance etc. The tired dancer will get the message.
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  I disagree with Chandler, people do have feelings and if there's an uncomfortable situation it's going to detract from your fun. Whenever I've run into that situation I've moved on to another club, which in itself tends to be fun. Sometimes getting tired of a dancer also is a signal that you're getting tired of a particular club.