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shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
In today's example of how to find out how dumb your girlfriend is while high-flying your douche bag flag after a late-night visit to the strip club comes Alibis.
The new line of fragrances is the result of some serious brainpower behind Mavericks club in Cape Town, South Africa.
Now available over the greasy counter is real, scented evidence that you weren't in fact at the strip club, but that you have a set of equally bad excuses for not coming home.
Scents currently include working late (cigarettes, coffee, ink, and wool suits), broken down car (fuel, burnt rubber, grease, oil, and steel), and out sailing (fresh ocean spray, sunscreen, aqua, and cotton rope). You can grab each for a cool $37.
Welcome to natural selection of the 21st Century, when men are stupid enough to not to just roll around in a puddle of grease first, and their girlfriends are stupid enough to believe them.
Stay tuned for upcoming scents (our suggestions: I rescued a cat from a burning tree (cat piss, bark, and smoldering ash), I had a study group (old books, sweaty underclassmen, and Red Bull), and I'm not clever enough to come up with an excuse for coming home at 4 a.m. (tequila and strippers) on the Mavericks website.)
The new line of fragrances is the result of some serious brainpower behind Mavericks club in Cape Town, South Africa.
Now available over the greasy counter is real, scented evidence that you weren't in fact at the strip club, but that you have a set of equally bad excuses for not coming home.
Scents currently include working late (cigarettes, coffee, ink, and wool suits), broken down car (fuel, burnt rubber, grease, oil, and steel), and out sailing (fresh ocean spray, sunscreen, aqua, and cotton rope). You can grab each for a cool $37.
Welcome to natural selection of the 21st Century, when men are stupid enough to not to just roll around in a puddle of grease first, and their girlfriends are stupid enough to believe them.
Stay tuned for upcoming scents (our suggestions: I rescued a cat from a burning tree (cat piss, bark, and smoldering ash), I had a study group (old books, sweaty underclassmen, and Red Bull), and I'm not clever enough to come up with an excuse for coming home at 4 a.m. (tequila and strippers) on the Mavericks website.)
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4 comments
1) Super Bowl Party- Doritos, beer and vomit.
2) Bar Fight- Blood, beer, sweat and ink from fingerprinting
3) Golf- Fresh air, beer, grass and boredom.
4) Carpentry- Sawdust, beer, charred wood and blood
5) Poker Night- Cigar smoke, beer, pizza and tears.
It’s after dinner when a man realizes he’s out of cigarettes.
He decides to pop down to the local bar for a pack, telling his wife he’ll be right back.
He’s persuaded by the bartender to share a cold one. As he’s nursing it a gorgeous blond comes in the door, but he looks the other way.
She comes over and sits down. One thing leads to another and she invites him home.
Back at her place they screw like rabbits until the next thing he knows it’s four o’clock in the morning. Jumping out of bed, he shakes the woman awake, asking if she has any baby powder.
“In the bathroom cabinet†she says.
He dusts his hands, drives home at ninety, and pulls into the driveway to find his wife waiting up for him, rolling pin in hand.
“So where the hell have you been?†she screams.
“Well, you see honey,†he stammers, “I only went out for cigarettes, but Jake offered me a beer and then this beautiful blonde walked in and we got to talking and drinking and I ended up back at her place making love…â€
“Wait a minute†snapped his wife, “let me see your hands.†Turning on him furiously, she says, “Don’t lie, you rotten little shit…you’ve been bowling again!â€
1) Walked the dog - Dog dander, Eau de skunk (dog chased it), Dog poo (make sure its on your shoe)
2) Helped change a tire - Grease, rubber, steel
3) Helped cut down a tree - Sweat, wood chips, Chain saw oil