17 comments

Pants? Yes or No?

Sep 16, 2011, 7:36 PM

hi everyone i'm new to the strip club scene and i was wondering if you experts here can help me decide on whether i should wear pants when i go to a stripclub.

so if you guys can answer the following questions it would be very helpful.

should i go without pants?
if so, should i wear a condom or tie a ribbon on my weiner?
should i shave my crotch or should i braid my pubic hairs like a rastaman?
how about if i shaved my pubes into a landing strip?
how about a hitler moustach?
how about color? if i dye my dick black will it look bigger and get me more action or will a bigger look scare the spinners away?
should i jerk off when a stripper approaches or walks by?
what number am i on now? 8 1/2. where do i put my money?
or should i wear pants?
if so what kind?
what brand?
what material?
what color?
what size?
where should i buy them?
how nuch will they cost?
how many pairs should i buy?
should i launder them after i cum in them?
what detergent should i use?
hot or cold water?
should i use fabric softener?
can one of you launder them for me?
how about if each you guys buy me the type of pants you believe i should have and mail them to me?
do you deliver?
how about a miniskirt?
should i wear pantyhose with a skirt?
seamed stockings and garters?
should i shave my legs?
maybe nair or epilady?

i have so many more questions but i don't want to come off as demanding so just answer the above questions for now and i'll be semi-satisfied. of course this will be my only post ever here because i just want info, i don't intend to share any with a bunch of guys i don't even know.

thanks everyone, see you at the strip club.

comments (17)

troop14 years ago

oh, i'll be back to read your answers later, going out for a couple drinks now.

mjx0114 years ago

LOL. 75 reviews over 33 clubs. Yep, still a rookie.

gatorfan14 years ago

No pants no shoes no service

jackslash14 years ago

Go with the no pants option but do it the French way: Sans pantalon.

basketball14 years ago

Could you repeat the question?

steve22914 years ago

Troop, Troop, Troop...you should know by now that the only proper strip club attire is 100% polyester gym shorts. You know, the skimpy kind they made you wear in junior high PE class. In fact, that's exactly what I wear - good thing I held onto them all these years, right? Yeah, they're kinda tight now, but since you're going commando, that only highlights the "package", if you know what I mean. Dress like that and the dancers know you mean business and will flock to you. Except for the ones that hide out in the dressing room when they see me come in - but hey, their loss right?

farmerart14 years ago

What are pants? Short gasps to force air into one's lungs?

For those of us who speak the English language I think you are referring to an article of male clothing properly called trousers.

steve22914 years ago

@farmerart - wouldn't it be bib overalls in your neck of the woods?

vincemichaels14 years ago

Tie a ribbon to your weiner. Most dancers will think it cute and immediately untie it and give you a BJ.

harrydave14 years ago

Last year a friend introduced me to the hilarious web site, People of Walmart. It now occurs to me that the people pictured on that web site are really the fashion avant-garde of America. So if you truly want to be a trendsetter, and a chick magnet, you need to go to that site for some exceptional ideas. Be there, or be square.

farmerart14 years ago

@steve229:

The mud suit that roughnecks wear while working on a rig would be perfect SC attire. Smooth for dancer comfort (probably a little slippery when wet, however). Waterproof (embarrassing shot spots would never seep through). Impervious to nasty stains and ugly buglies.

Good idea. I will wear mine on my next trip to the Cannonball in Toronto. Would I need my hard hat?

runrdude14 years ago

utilikilts.com

Just sayin'

georgmicrodong14 years ago

If I thought for a second I could actually pull of a kilt, I'd be all over that shit. I'm not the right shape.

jackslash14 years ago

I saw some people selling and wearing utility kilts at Maker Faire a month ago. These kilts provide all the embarrassment of a man wearing a skirt without the color and dash of an actual Scottish kilt.

steve22914 years ago

"the color and dash of an actual Scottish kilt"

I've always thought it would be fun to get a lap dance while wearing an actual Scottish kilt and loudly shouting, "She can't take much more of this, Captain."

spike196914 years ago

Wear a chastity belt

runrdude14 years ago

I put that up in fun, but GMD, you've got me thinking. I am the right shape, my legs are my best feature, and I'm Scottish. Hmmmm.