DJ vs. No DJ

That's possible, Yoda. I've seen bad DJs all over the country, but I've never been to a club in New England. Maybe all the good ones work there. It's also possible that we have differing opinions about the same types of experiences.

A few years ago I was in a club enjoying myself accept for the fact that the club DJ was trying his best to blow up the club's sound system. I stopped the club manager as he walked past me and asked him if he realized his sound system was distorting badly. He had a look of exasperation on his face and motioned toward the DJ booth. I told him it sounded like one of his CD players was bad. He told me that the DJ was actually running off of a laptop. I have to deal with laptop/audio interface issues quite often in my job so I offered to take a look at the setup and see if I could help. I made a simple adjustment in the DJ booth and the sound was clear as a bell, still too loud IMHO, but no longer distorted.

Sadly, a lot of these places invest stupid amounts of money in high-tech sound and lights but never follow through with training. You don't need a license to operate most of this stuff but you do need to be trained.

Chandler. I've noticed several instances where you and I have mentioned very divergent opinions about our club observations. I have a feeling that things may be very different where you club vs. where I club.

The gadgets -- flashing stage lighting, smoke machines, stage elevators into the basement -- are sold by salesmen, and they don't come with maintenance crews or licensed operators.

Book Guy: I've had the same complaints about stage lights. They're just one more thing that gets screwed up more often than not. Another truism: Where there's a smoke machine, there WILL be an inept blast almost directly in a dancer's face that nearly sends her sprawling. OK, I suppose there are well run clubs that are exceptions, but I prefer to believe it happens even there when I'm not looking.

I note that most DJs don't know much about sound dynamics and control devices. It's annoying -- where there are "professional sound management individuals," the sound is managed poorly and unprofessionally; but where there are none, the sound is usually bearable. Same with lighting. Strip club lighting SUCKS. It should enhance the hotness of the ladies and the sexiness of the setting. It shouldn't ever shine directly in the eyes of any patron, or make a dancer look bad, or be so dim that you can't see her. All this goes without saying, but for some damn reason people who run strip clubs can't figure out these obvious concepts.

Chandler: I've seen bad DJ's too. As I said, they are , IMHO a necessary evil. Honestly, I see a lot more good than bad and the kind you describe would not be tolerated in the clubs I frequent. I don't know how it is where you live but the DJ's basically are paid in dancer tips around here. Yes, they have big egos, play the music too loud and can be obnoxious but any DJ that costs dancer's money isn't going to last long based on my observations.

Yoda: My observation is that bad DJs are the norm, not the exception. I've seen many who last too long in their position despite even outright incompetence. I have no idea whether they cost dancer's money.

I have seen a small few who are professional, by which I include that they are inobstrusive and rarely speak when they aren't supposed to. A couple of the upscale Detroit clubs usually employ this type of DJ. However, that is so unusual it seems almost a miracle that they are there.

Even when they aren't cutting songs, many DJs begin talking over the song long before it ends as though it's winding to an end, which causes strippers to stop their lap dances a minute or two early. To be fair, however, some clubs have jukeboxes that are programmed to cut all songs at a maximum length.

Just last night I checked at my local dive, and found out that ALL songs were nearly exactly 4 minutes. After using the digital stopwatch on my new Timex Ironman on twelve songs, I counted a low of 3:47 and a high of 4:39, with a definite concentration right around 4:05. Each song was followed by exactly a :25 second interlude which was created by a syntho-beat probably generated automatically in some computer-module in the DJ's mixing machine.

Problems with some DJs, and that makes it irritating is they cut songs short. I'v seen songs cut short to less than 2.5 minutes, even some times less than 2 minuts! Now we know what happens to LD's when songs are cut short.

I would like to add that the Jukeboxes for the most part do not have up to date songs. Now maybe that is a good thing for some of you, but I don't want to hear any songs by the Commodores.LOL!! Some clubs allow there dancers to bring their music to the DJ for them to play during their sets.

There are two things I dislike about DJs - first they are almost always annoying. But second and more important, if the club is fancy enough to have a DJ it's almost always too fancy for me, meaning it's probably overpriced. I have nothing against fancy per se, I just don't think it's worth paying a lot extra for. So I'll take the local dive with a juke box, I don't mind giving a girl a $1 now and then for it when the drinks and everything else are probably half the price of the place with the DJ.

Yoda: I've also seen many DJs who constantly announce the wrong girl, play the wrong song, basically screw up everything they touch and piss off half the girls. It's only in the larger clubs that I think DJs can fulfill a necessary function - if they are one of the rare non-fuckups. In smaller clubs, a smooth, orderly coordination of stage performances just isn't what it's about, and a DJ sticks out like a sore thumb.

I hate most DJ's but they are a necessary evil. I go to one club that has no DJ and it is a total cluster-fuck when it comes to dancers getting on and off stage when they are supposed to. In some cases making nice with the DJ can be to your advantage. A few bucks will get your favorite dancer left off of the rotation for a couple of hours so you can have her all to yourself.

As token & lopaw say, though not as virulent as token. Yeah, lopaw, I nickname DJ @ common LA club "Mumbles". One of fave clubs (Mons Venus) is a jukebox club, but other factors make it a fave, too.

I can't believe the one bad thing about no DJ wasn't mentioned, which is when you are getting a lapdance and the song ends and you want to keep going and there is dead air for a long time. On the other hand, it's always nice to have a lady in your lap.

My favorite club is a Jukebox club, and over the 15 years or so that I've been going there (damn, that makes me feel old), I've only been asked for jukebox money a handful of occasions. If my girl for the night (the one that's been at my table all night) is due on stage, I will generally extend the money to her, without her asking for it, just as another thankyou for her time spent with me.

Other pluses for the jukebox club; -> if the music it too loud, I will usually mention it to my girl, and she will discreetly bump the volume down a notch for me -> dancers tend to congregate around the jukebox as they select music for their stage sets... it's usually a nice sight to take in, with 3 or 4 girls huddled around the juke, giving a nice view of ass

Never been to a club that didn't have a DJ so I have nothing to compare it to. There is one DJ who will accomodate me at my club of choice for a very nominal tip. Info on girls that is less than flattering (she's a hustler, she can't talk) and most imptly this guy will skip the girl I am with on the floor and use someone else to take the stage. It's fucking amazing at juss what a lil show of gratitude gets you nowadays. As someone in a service industry I can attest to it well. It is the thought that counts.

dj's are a pain in the ass but then so is juke box tipping. I'm strong on this....I hate all hangers-on--dj's, bouncers, door people, vip people, bathroom attendants, security, floor managers, valets, ALL of the scum bags that "leech" off the efforts of dancers who are struggling to raise a family or otherwise better their station in life. They are all rat bastards!

I agree that the main advantage with a DJ is hearing him/her announce the dancers name. But if they mumble, or talk too close to the microphone so that you can't understand a friggin word they say....then what's the point? And why does this always seem to happen in the clubs I go to?

No DJ is one of the reasons I usually prefer dives. Although I think the club is smarter pay for the jukebox themselves, I don't mind kicking in a couple of bucks if it helps keep a loudmouth with a mic out of work.

I've become so good at tuning out the DJ I don't usually catch the dancer's name. That's okay, though, cause I usually recognize dancers by their looks, not their stage name.

DJ's are definitely irritating when they keep talking on and on and on. I think they like listening to themselves talk. Every once in a while they'll say something you actually listened to and it just makes you wonder if they have that much common sense.

For instance I remember one DJ near closing time in a somewhat full club said "ok everyone, we're closing in a few minutes, Everyone drive 90 when they leave here! They can't catch us all!" Then he puts on "Can't drive 55."

Club DJs who "officially whoop it up" are annoying. I suspect the manager / owner has actually asked them to perform in this manner, and I wish they wouldn't. I like a DJ to be unobtrusive. Just a random "Shelly, check sound," or "That was Juliette, guys, now available for private VIP dances!" And spin the tunes, of course. DJs who foreground themselves with, "Hey, you loved it! Clap MORE! She's NAKED guys, cheer for her NOW" will drive me out of a club.

There was a "roving comedian" at The Pony in Memphis once. He was hilarious. He was kind of the DJ, in the sense that he did the MCing (master of ceremonies) though he didn't actually spin the tunes themselves. In between dancers or tunes, he used a mobile microphone to make fun of the people who were stripping or tipping, or the waitress, or crack a one-liner about nakedness, or whatever. I loved it. He was a laugh riot. Wonder where he is now.

Although I hate DJs like everybody else does, they don't often bother me like they used to. Perhaps it's a sad comment that I've learned to adapt to the deadly combination of a microphone and and obnoxiious person. I've become so accustomed to tuning them out, they have to be especially loud and incessant to be a problem for me anymore. Which isn't to say it doesn't happen, but generally, if the DJ gets to me, it's because the girls aren't hot enough to make me ignore him.