"I am not a whore."

avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
Just a fat, creepy old pervert.
I've lost count of the number of times I've heard this comment from a girl before, during, or after whatever it is we might have been doing. In my opinion, this statement is actually true in many cases; the word itself, for all its technical accuracy, bears some negative connotations for me that I don't think apply to most of the dancer-prostitutes I've met, though most usage is as a synonym for "prostitute".

That said, I've never, ever, seen anything that would indicate that there's even the slightest up side to contradicting any girl who ever says it. What would be the point? I see no harm in letting her fool herself, as long as *I* am not fooling *my*self.

Have you ever contradicted anyone who said "I am not a a whore"? If so, why?

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avatar for sinclair
sinclair
13 years ago
I hear that phrase all the time. I never contradict it. They are just trying to justify to that being a stripper, or further a stripper that gives sextras, is higher on the food chain than a gutter whore.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
13 years ago
I just nod my head in agreement and tell them that I am not a John.
avatar for Rod8432
Rod8432
13 years ago
Great answer shadow! A stripper recently was nearly in tears as she recounted how humiliated she felt when nude on stage and guys expected her to spread her legs for a tip (which other dancers do frequently). She said, "I want to be able to look my little daughter in the eye the next day and feel good about myself." I of course just smiled as I continued groping her during our lapdance.
avatar for steve229
steve229
13 years ago
I think it's a union thing. Like how you can't call yourself an apprentice or journeyman unless you have a union card. So she can't be a "whore" unless she's in the streetwalker local.
avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
13 years ago
Are they having elections soon?? I'll be the steward. :)
avatar for londonguy
londonguy
13 years ago
These dancers make me laugh, they give lap dances to men for sexual gratification, even to the point of bringing some guys off, then state that they don't indulge in sexual acts because that's what whores do. Jeez. Rod, did you manage to keep a straight face after she said that?
avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
13 years ago
I don't see that saying anything contradictory will make her happy. So, like the others here, I'll just nod in agreement if anything and continue to grope her.
avatar for 10inches
10inches
13 years ago
have encountered this comment on several occasions. most of the time it is when I ask about OTC. of course, this is after spending a half an hour our sucking on her tits, playing wiht her ass and finger banging her pussy for money
avatar for carmelcd
carmelcd
13 years ago
If I am braking balls, I will ask, "if I had $20 million bucks sitting right here and offered it to you for an hour of sex you would say no". If they say they wouldn't do it--then I know they are liars or morons or both. If they say yes for that amount they would do it--now we are in negotiations and simply trying to come to a price agreement.
avatar for mikeya02
mikeya02
13 years ago
I think some girls will escort if they get a great offer,but will insist they are not prostitutes. Not worth calling them out though. Deception is what they practice on others, delusion is what they practice on themselves.
avatar for Stiletto25
Stiletto25
13 years ago
Ive got to be honest, I don't care if someone calls me a whore. I do get offended at some things but the whole "whore" "prostitute" etc words don't do a thing for me.
There are going to be customers out there that think all dancers are whores, whether they perform sex acts or not. I can't change that, its just the way it is.
It seems like the girls that get offended by "whore" are the ones that have a some type of inner turmoil going on related to the job. If you can't go home and sleep well at night after work, as bad as it sounds, you may need to practice some disconnection skills (as effed up as that sounds). Strip clubs are fantasy. If you're a whore, fine, if your not, that's fine to. Leave it at the door.
avatar for harrydave
harrydave
13 years ago
Everybody is a whore about something. People do things for money. I'm much more interested in whether a stripper lies (uh, pathologically), cheats, steals, does heroin, or bangs guys without protection. Whether she is a whore or not is a word game.
avatar for Alucard
Alucard
13 years ago
I've decidedmto use the words Sex Worker. It avoids the connotations. I've not had a Sex Worker use that comment with me. And like others here, if I heard it, I'd just continue on with whatever kind of sex we were having.
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
13 years ago
"Whore" is a bad name for a bad person, and dancers don't want to be called that. I would never call a stripper a whore, and I hope no stripper ever calls me a scrawny old geezer.
avatar for newmark
newmark
13 years ago
I am not sure that Sex Worker wouldn't offend at least some. How about Adult Entertainer?
avatar for creepshow
creepshow
13 years ago
It's the connotation, not the definition. The general mental picture of "whore" people default to usually involves either the prefix "crack" (alongside some disgusting, piggish looking monster) or someone whose sex acts are highly destructive. Additionally, since whores are for the most part illegal in the US, there is no positive affiliation here.

Threadstarter is correct, no possible reason to contradict the girl. I also definitely agree with HarryDave here in that unless you're independently wealthy, you are in the legion of us who whore ourselves out as well.
avatar for jerikson40
jerikson40
13 years ago
Tell someone who's an a-hole that they're an a-hole. What will they say? "Uh, yeah, I guess you're right, I'm a complete a-hole..", right?

No. People generally don't let others say bad things about them. Even if it's true. And most women spend their lives thinking OTHER girls are sluts and whores, but will never call themselves a whore. And the "look my daughter in the eye..." thing is huge with women. Although it's incredible how some women can find ways to rationalize their whore-ishness.

So no, there's no way you should even think about contradicting her. She'll never admit it. Out loud at least.
avatar for Rod8432
Rod8432
13 years ago
londonguy - re: "Rod, did you manage to keep a straight face after she said that?" In a word, "yes." I've heard all the stories, and I do mean all - from the car repair bills, to the loser husband/boyfriend, to the brother in trouble with the law, to her father's medical bills, and yes, to how she's not a whore/slut even though the other girls are.

I treat these comments like those of hustlers who approach me on the street with long and detailed accounts of how their car is broken down on the highway with wife/babies inside, how they got their car towed/booted, etc., and how they only need some odd amount of money (usually $17) to fix their problem. It's a scam, through-and-through meant to play on my emotions to achieve some effect they want, so I never buy into their banter. For strippers, I just enjoy the grope and grind, and ignore the rest.
avatar for lopaw
lopaw
13 years ago
Surprisingly, I've never run into this comment from a stripper.
I guess it's only a matter of time?
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
13 years ago
lopaw,

You will never hear that comment, since all women are whores, ducking as I speak. :) Just a joke.
avatar for rh48hr
rh48hr
13 years ago
Its all about acceptance. She needs to accept being a whore, we need to accept being PL's. They are only words. She gets what she wants ($$$); we get what we want (sex) :-)
avatar for mikewazowski
mikewazowski
13 years ago
As I've traveled through life, I've noticed that people are only offended when someone points out something about them that they don't like and feel they can't change.

Call a person who is an idiot "stupid" and they'll get all sorts of fired up. They know they are dumbasses and they know they can't change it. Call a Mensa member "stupid" and they'll just smile and be entertained by you.

Call a skinny person "fat" and they'll just laugh. Call me "fat" and I'll put you in the hospital.

So if you tell a stripper who doesn't do anything extra - or one who is totally comfortable with herself and the extras she does - a "whore" and she'll just smile and make a snide comment. Call the stripper who fucks everyone she takes to the VIP, even those who were expecting just a dance - BUT hates herself for doing it - a "whore" and watch the sparks fly.
avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
13 years ago
vm prepares the emergency room for Clubber's pending injuries. :)
avatar for lopaw
lopaw
13 years ago
Clubber,

If surrendering myself to hot strippers on a regular basis and allowing them to have their way with me makes me a whore.......then I am the HAPPIEST damn whore that there ever was!
avatar for IrishLad
IrishLad
13 years ago
Is a women who takes $20 for a quickie a whore?

Is an "escort" who takes $500 for "her time" then takes you home for a night of hot sex a whore?

Is a stripper who chats with you for hours, then meets you after "work", sleeps with you, then accepts a gift to "help out with the rent" a whore?

Is a stripper who you buy 10 dances from then decides to generously give you a quick blow job in VIP a whore?

Is an attractive women with little income you meet, take out to dinner and a Broadway show spending $500 on then sleeps with you because she likes being treated like that and wants you to do it again a whore?

Is the hot girl who dates you for a year because you're successful and have a prestigious job, while you regularly wine her, dine her and pay to get her car repaired when she needs it, even though she's not all that attracted to you physically a whore?

Is your live in girlfriend who is an artist that makes no money, so you support her and who sleeps with you regularly a whore?

Is the women you meet in a good college who gets a worthless degree in Literature with no intent of ever working but is hunting for "Mr. Right", meets you and decides to marry you because you fit her profile of a success oriented provider with the right background, major and career goals a whore?

I bet it would be hard to get to people to agree where to draw the line. Sometimes the "whore" is just more honest, less expansive and maybe less savvy variation of a very common theme.

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