Some Advice

4/8/2011 9:21:25 PM

So, I start with saying over the past few weeks I have blown quite a bit of money (nothing that I can't afford, but more than I expected to). I guess this is natural but it's really alarming. Been spending time in VIP with one girl in particular - there's no actual sex involved here, but quite a lot of intimacy outside of that (HJs etc). Its a good time, and I got this girl's number. We have been texting every now and then, sometimes just to see when she's working, etc. But ultimately I have had goals of taking things OTC. Now obviously I have her number, which she gave me on her own will basically but whenever we discuss anything it really just amounts to a 'maybe' I am sure she gets this a lot, she's the hottest girl in the club (in my opinion, and many other guys there, judging how sought after she is). So I can't help but think she is really just leading me on here into spending money on her in the club only. Judge me all you want here but to be the truthful I am not even really seeking sex OTC - I just want to take it OTC in general (rather be 100% private), doesn't have to be much more than what she already offers in the club. I've made this clear to her as well. It looks like it may happen some day, but am I wrong in thinking all this?

Obviously, this is just one girl, there are many others I can try the same thing with and probably have better luck, but this girl is just so beautiful and generally quite better than other girls in the club that I can't really stop thinking about this. I still have a good time with her ITC, but the environment just isnt the best when there are so many other guys competing for her there as well.

I guess this just sounds like a classic case of "RIL" for you guys, a term I have just heard about. I guess what I am really asking is - what do you all suggest to get my mind off all of this and stop pursuing something that I probably won't achieve?

23 comments

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sinclair

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14 years ago

The constant "maybes" suggest you're being played. To get your mind off of her, you need to go out and fuck a bunch of other women or get some hobbies other than SC's.

Fenster

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14 years ago

But, if you can get her in alone in a bedroom, make sure that you don't 'make love' to her, but rather, fuck the shit out of her in ways that will spoil her for other men.

Bend her over, with some hair-pulling, ass-slapping, name-calling. She will thank you for it.

And beg for more.

Then, text me her number.

Fenster

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14 years ago

But, yeah, you're getting played, as Sinclair said.

Move on.

Find another, because there's plenty out there. Play THEM.

alex80

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14 years ago

Thanks - I agree, it does seem like I'm getting played for the most part. It's too bad, really. I know quite a lot about this girl (#, verified real name, etc), she was pretty happy to reveal all that sort of stuff to me, along with some other seemingly personal information. But I guess that's all a tactic to get closer, without really getting further. The fact that she's so hot makes it even harder for me though, and I'm serious - we're talking about an actual model here. If anyone is interested in seeing, PM me for pics (don't think I should link to them here). The kicker is that she says she is only going to be working at the club for another month or so, and I believe this, as it seems she has a modelling contract. This is part of the reason I'd like to try to pursue things OTC, as I won't be able to do it ITC pretty soon.

Dougster

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14 years ago

You need to get your head screwed on straight. Strippers are whores. Whores exist to be fucked for the money. That's how you play the game. Anything else is just plain stupid.

Vegasman30

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14 years ago

Yeah man. you need to take a step back. you are way to into this chick. she is PLAYING you. She knows she has you on the hook and she is just going to keep raking in that cash.

i just got back from the club tonight. there was this girl there that I had gotten ONE dance from before. During it she told me she would fuck me. But I balked. Tonight I went in and we went back to the private rooms. within minutes she had my cock in her mouth. it gets much crazier. and then I left a very happy guy. next time I'm in I'll get her again or go for someone else. you can't let them get their hooks into you. they got one thing on the brain. your money.

vincemichaels

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14 years ago

Dude, do what you want, but I have to agree with everyone. She's playing you.

Sasha2011

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14 years ago

She's just doing her job, which is to remain a fantasy. If she's doing well in the club, she's never gonna meet guys outside of it for more than dinner. Pretty girls don't have to do all that, they aren't as desperate as the so-so girls competing with them. I'm not saying she'll never meet you, I'm saying don't expect any physical contact. That's why you're getting maybes. It's her job to give dances when she's at work. After work, she looks and acts different, goes by a different name, etc. What happens in the club is not real.

Clubber

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14 years ago

alex,

I am going to offer a different slant. I could have written your initial post about "C". vincemichaels knows who I am talking about. That said, I really don't care what others think. It is MY time, MY money, MY life, MY every thing else. She makes me happy and I enjoy our times together. If you are comfortable with what you have, continue on! YOUR wishes are all that matter.

alex80

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14 years ago

Thanks all. Truthfully it is not all about having sex with her to me, I've accepted that this is probably not happening with this girl. But honestly spending time with her is so good that a dinner date would even be nice (I would not say this for most of the girls).

What I'm definitely going to take away from this though - I need to mentally guard myself and understand that this is 100% a fantasy. This girl just happens to do such a good job of making it feel real. I can't let myself think it is though.

harrydave

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14 years ago

Alex, remember the art of effective negotiation requires that you not care too much about the outcome. When you care, you transmit all kinds of signals, and you are at an instant disadvantage.

I can empathize. For about a year, I was at the same place as you. But experience taught me that strip clubs are for sex, and not for intimate relationships. Stop fantasizing.

So the real question isn't about the girl, it's about you. What do you want and why are you trying to get it at a strip club?

steve229

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14 years ago

"what do you all suggest to get my mind off all of this and stop pursuing something that I probably won't achieve?"

The only foolproof method I've discovered to get over an infatuation with a dancer? Start up with another one. (Obviously some drawbacks with that strategy, lol.)

The good news - once the girls in the club find out you're back "on the market," there should be no shortage of hotties pursuing you - a "RIL" is always in demand.

Book Guy

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14 years ago

Don't hate on da playa, don't hate on da game; hate on bein played.

alex80

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14 years ago

@harrydave - Of course, I'd LOVE to fuck this girl and would jump at the opportunity, but in conversations with her, I am rather convinced this just isn't likely. In the market I am in, sex ITC isn't something that really goes on much. Never mind fucking, but you are lucky if you get a HJ (which I did from this girl) at some of these places. These clubs make up for it somewhat in having really hot girls, and you do get full contact in VIP. I know down in the south and stuff things are different, and you can get FS ITC. That just isn't common here. So are strip clubs really just for sex then? I wish it were more feasible to get to that level. Perhaps I'm missing something. I guess around here they're really just for some level of intimate contact with a hot girl. Something I have accepted, but would love to be proven wrong.

gatorfan

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14 years ago

I hate plaid

mmdv26

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14 years ago

I think what sasha2011 said above is very complete and accurate. If everyone here understood it and believed it, this entire discussion board would have less than half the posts it does.

Of course the object of the game is to catch the vulnerable girl when she needs money....unless you are content to just piss it away on the fantasy.

Clubber

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14 years ago

alex and mmdv,

A fantasy, most times but not always. I know this from personal experience. Sometimes to have that one good one, you have to take a few on the chin.

As for Sasha, she is so full of herself, there isn't enough room for the shit!

Dougster

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14 years ago

sasha: "If she's doing well in the club, she's never gonna meet guys outside of it for more than dinner. Pretty girls don't have to do all that, they aren't as desperate as the so-so girls competing with them. "

This is just the stripperweb party line. In reality, my experience is that the best looking girls are exactly the ones most like to fuck you OTC. Why exactly this is, I'm not sure. It doesn't really matter except as a philosophical game, anyway.

But let's play it:

Is it because the prettiest girls are also often the most messed up psychologically? Are they using their looks to hide that? Does the obsession with looks keep them from thinking about other problems, so it's just another addiction type (ill) coping strategy?

Is it because of the way people treat the best looking girls? Is it because they have about infinite sexual power, but know it will all end one day?

Or is it because they if are whores, it's not as bad for them because at least they are still beautiful. Whereas a so-so girl would be so-so and a whore. To much for ones self-esteem to handle?

I have no idea how the combination of explanations plays out, but, make no mistake. It is exactly the best looking girls who are the most likely to be doing customers OTC.

Sasha: "She's just doing her job, which is to remain a fantasy"

Ah, more stripperweb party line. The whole "fantasy" rationalization. It's funny to watch the reasoning on stripperweb. Yes fibs are probably wanted in a SC, but if fibs are okay, let's blur the grey area between fibs and lies, and then let's equate every lie with the grey area, so that it's all okay. Now that we've convinced ourselves that lies are just part of the "fantasy" environment, we'll next convince you that outright theft is okay too....

Stiletto25

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14 years ago

Being a dancer, I must agree with sasha. She probably make great money in the club and doesn't need to see you outside.
If your really interested in the girl though....Business is business. Offer her a thousand dollars an hour, no sex of course..you might get your wish.

Stiletto25

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14 years ago

I must also add that I love Dougsters posts.
"strippers are whores. Whores exist to be fucked for the money".
I wasn't aware all strippers liked to be fucked for money, I thought some also did it for free. Are they still whores then?. Hehe..
But in all honesty, very funny posts. I can't say I take them seriously, but good posts.

mmdv26

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14 years ago

I should have included a comment about, "Why is a truly pretty girl working in a strip club to begin with?" Of course, the answer is, to average out the mix of girls at the club....

I agree with Dougster on a lot of what he says, but in all my 20 years of strip clubbing in several different markets, I have only encountered a handful of genuinely pretty girls who will have sex with a customer for free or pay. And those were usually situations where she was trying to close the deal with a potential sugar daddy....not usually me.

More often than not my experience has been that the prettiest girls are usually stringing guys along with regular suggestions that that OTC is just around the corner...but it never happens because she doesn't need (financially or psychologically) for that to happen.

I cannot, however, explain the aberration that exists at Mons Venus (and other FL clubs) where stunningly beautiful women agree to dance naked on your lap. I assume that only a small percentage of them would agree to OTC...maybe I'm wrong.

baltimoretraveler

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14 years ago

Harrydave has some great points.

You have to remember, strippers are not there to meet someone to date. If that was the case, they would be in a bar (not strip club).

I'm not saying u can't have fun , but it is highly unlikely a dancer is looking for something more than $$. Example of this is last night I was sitting with a stripper I've met OTC and she introduced me to her friend who is new at the cub. She said to me," finally I meet someone normal tonight. We should hang outside this club, maybe go to an Orioles game so here's my #". She entered it in my phone, and then called it right there so I knew it was hers. For a minute I thought she might not be about the $$ till I got a text at 2:47 AM from her asking if she and her girlfriend I knew could stop by for a threesome with me.

alex80

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14 years ago

Yeah of course I understand that - I am not looking to really go out with her on a date. I realize that I'd have to pay her for her time. And I think (hopefully) she realizes that this is what I'm looking for too. I think it could be well worth it for her, but since she does so well ITC, I guess she doesn't have much an incentive at all.

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