How do you politely tell a dancer you are not interested?

avatar for sucker4ladies
sucker4ladies
Everyone has experienced it at one point or another. The dancer that is not attractive to you in the least, becomes the one that is all over you throughout the night, hustling for dances.

I prefer not to hurt the dancers feelings if at all possible, and I do not want them to spread around to the other dancers that I am cheap (when cheapness has nothing to do with it) so that they all ignore me.

Does anyone have tips on how to politely let a dancer know that you are not interested in them and let them know it is your FINAL ANSWER without pissing them off? I would prefer not to have to say, "You are the ugliest dancer in the world to me, now leave me alone!"

26 comments

Jump to latest
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
14 years ago
Say a simple, friendly but firm "no thank you." No additional explanation is needed.

And if that doesn't work, then you can say something like "Are you fucking deaf?! I said move your stupid, skanky ass away from me!" ;)
avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
14 years ago
I don't want a dance from you. And if that doesn't work, tell them

GO AWAY !!

MOVE YOUR SKANKY, STUPID ASS AWAY FROM ME !!
avatar for Irish1072
Irish1072
14 years ago
If you are at a club that you frequent often, then I recommend being diplomatic so she doesn't make it harder for you with the other girls. Having said that, I agree with the previous reply, "no thank you" should suffice. At my regular club there is one girl that just won't take a hint that I'm not interested, when I see her coming I just shake my head NO and she has finally gotten the hint, fortunately, most of the other girls know me and like me so it has worked out.
avatar for SuperDude
SuperDude
14 years ago
Some dancers just will not leave until they get some money any way they can. The polite "no thank you," doesn't always send them away. They will keep talking until the waitress comes over so they can try and get you to buy an overpriced dancer's drink. (Remember, they have a drink quota.) "Should I ask your manager if there is a space for you to sit in the back?"
avatar for Fenster
Fenster
14 years ago
Years ago, a dancer told me that the correct thing to say is "I'm waiting for someone." That should be easily understood, and is certainly polite enough, but some newbies won't understand that that is a dismissal, and will ask 'who?' Or, they may say 'well, I'll just sit and wait with you,' unaware that, if you are waiting for someone, she most likely won't come over when there's another girl there. If she's overly persistant, you could always go to the bathroom, then find someplace else to sit. But it is true that some girls don't think that the customer has a choice as to whom to spend time with. I've actually had dancers grab me by a finger, in such a way as to cause pain and threaten injury, to drag me off to a corner to dance (these girls are usually obese, and can't make money otherwise). I've even been dragged away like that just after spotting the girl who was the only reason I was going to that particular club, and I never saw her again.

The girls that do this don't know the rules yet, or they simply are too unattractive to make money.
avatar for steve229
steve229
14 years ago
"I'm waiting for someone" with a smile and wink is my stock answer as well (it has the added benefit of always being true - even if I'm just waiting for "someone better").

When I've ended up with unwelcome company, I'll excuse myself to go up to the stage and tip the other dancers - most will get the hint and move on.

For the overly persistent skank, I've always liked the idea someone else posted in a similar thread - make her a crude, lowball offer for some perverted, disgusting extra: "Wanna dance?" "No, but I'll give you $5 to let me..."

Even though it sounds win-win (if she's offended, she leaves; if she accepts, well...), I haven't had the gumption to actually do it yet.
avatar for bumrubber
bumrubber
14 years ago
One dancer in a local club won't get the clue no matter what I do, so if she won't go away I just leave. I'm hoping management will get the clue.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
14 years ago
I've seldom had to be more rude than a followup "No" after the "No thanks."
avatar for harrisemerald
harrisemerald
14 years ago
Just say "I don't think I'll be spending any money tonight." that'll make her leave you alone pretty quick.
avatar for bumrubber
bumrubber
14 years ago
But if you tell her you're not spending any money it will get around to the other girls and they'll leave you alone too.

Some of these bitches will make sure that if they don't get your money, no one else will either.
avatar for lopaw
lopaw
14 years ago
Excuse yourself to the restroom and find a different seat when you come back.
Certainly not a foolproof plan....more of a stalling technique.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
14 years ago
Lately, I've just been telling them that vincemichaels has the hots for them! :)
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
14 years ago
Why be polite? They're just whores.
avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
14 years ago
Hmmm, I am going to put a Rufe in their drink and say Clubber put it in there. LOL
avatar for jdoggy
jdoggy
14 years ago
My favorite line is, "I'm sorry, but you remind me a lot of my sister, and that would just be creepy."
avatar for Maverick100
Maverick100
14 years ago
Lots of good replies here. Usually the simple "no thanks" or "I promised so and so I'd have a dance with her" work. Saying you're broke can work but could screw up the rest of your evening if word gets out and the other girls all believe her. I agree that in a club you frequent often diplomacy is probably a better tact. If you're never going back there again, and you're in a bad mood speak your mind.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
14 years ago
I have used most of the excuses mentioned here at one time or another. I agree that at clubs where I am not known, I really don't give a shit what I say. But at my favorite club, I am well known by the day shift dancers and have to choose my words. Most of them know that if I am there with gridget that they are not going to get any dances until after she leaves. They know that we are an "item". I did have one bitch, "Calli" on my last trip that had the balls to ask me for a dance while gridget was sitting with me. I said "see this nice watch I am wearing. It was a Christmas present from gridget. I only get dances from her when she is there". She got up and left and is now on my shit list.
avatar for sucker4ladies
sucker4ladies
14 years ago
Tons of good info here. Thanks for all the replies. I feel a well-armed now for my next persistent ugly dancer encounter. If the firm "no thank you" doesn't work, I am going straight to that "sister" line! LOL
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
14 years ago
s4l,

Why would you, even in a fuglie stripper crisis, equate your sister to one? Of course if you have no sister, no problem!
avatar for sucker4ladies
sucker4ladies
14 years ago
That's exactly it...No sister, so no problem!

As an aside, I suppose the sister line would only work if the stripper was caucasian like myself...otherwise, might seem a little awkward!
avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
14 years ago
I can't use the sister line. They'd hit me. My sister is 66 years old.
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
14 years ago
You can be polite. If they don't respond to polite, you can always keep stepping it up a notch until they leave you alone. If it's in a club where you're a regular, I would feel free to be more blunt and just say you aren't interested in them and you are waiting for someone. I remember at least a couple of dancers that refused to take no for an answer and did not leave me alone. One dancer even resorted to pulling me or dragging me and the chair I was sitting in about 25 feet across the club towards the dance room before I was able to stop her. Another night I used the tactic of not wanting to pay money for her dances. She called my bluff on that and told me she would dance for free. I said no thanks then. After she kept escalating free offers including going home with her (she didn't say what she might do there) she finally relented and left me alone after that.

The other dancer just argued with me for several minutes before I got upset and left her at the table I had been sitting at. I would say that's a stupid stubborn dancer that would argue with a customer for several minutes who already told her no several times. Most leave immediately and then come back later again and again unless you're busy.
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
14 years ago
One dancer wanted to give me a lap dance real bad. I remember she surprised me at the stage. Instead of just taking my dollar, she slid her hands up my shorts all the way to my underwear while at the stage. I was a bit too stubborn at that time and still refused to get a lap dance thinking it was all a ruse. In hindsite I'm thinking it was not since she was truthful about quitting the club after that night.
avatar for gk
gk
14 years ago
I've use all of these tactics at one time or another.

1. Smile and give the standard reaction: "I'm waiting for ..."
2. Use body language. Turn away from her if she's too impolite to acknowledge your stated preference.
3. Excuse youself to tip someone else, on stage or even on the floor. She should get the message.
3. Let the bartender help. Call over the bartender or waitress and tell her..."I'm waiting for (XXX), will you tell her I'm ready to buy her a drink? She should get the point, But if the unwanted one wants to horn in after this, just say no and turn away.
4. If she's too dumb to move, leave and go find another spot.
5. For the self-appointed groupie type: smile, be polite, say no if you have to, and then ignore her, keeping a seat open for someone else.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
14 years ago
Tell her you do let transvestites dance for you.
avatar for DoctorDarby
DoctorDarby
14 years ago
Damn these overlapping topics. I used my "be gone skanky minion of Satan" line in the "it never fails" thread. I have a limited amound of cleverness available, since my pool of wit is more like a mud puddle. Please indulge my double-dipping.
You must be a member to leave a comment.Join Now