Dating A Stripper - Too Much Attachment! (Part 1)
DougS
Florida
Ok.. it seems like this topic has been hovering in several other topics lately... thought I'd shake the bush and see what happens.
Can you date a stripper? Is it possible? Would you want to?
For anyone on this discussion forum, I think the answers for all of those questions SHOULD be an adamant NO!
I've been in this "hobby" for far too many years, and have had way too many experiences that have taught me way too many lessons - the HARD way to EVER want to go down that path, but still, it is far too easy to plunge ahead (with the other head steering).
Why would any grown man, especially a man that has some common sense, fall for a dancer? I think when his life is lacking that "excitement" that isn't being satisfied at home, the level of vulnerability rises to the level that common sense goes out the window. When there's a beautiful, sexy girl that is doing everything she can to make you want to be with her, it's difficult to put on the brakes.
I don't know where these girls learn their tricks of manipulation, but they have it down to a science. So much so that even when you see it coming, and know it's most likely a scam, walking away is usually not the first thing on your mind.
As mentioned in other dicsussions, I have "dated" a few strippers - okay, in honesty, I think I could only call it dating with two of the girls. The rest of them, it was just OTC fun and games, even though I might have had thoughts that it was more at the time.
My ATF was the first, and it lasted for nearly three years. It was a real roller coaster ride, with the last year seeing her divorce her husband (not only because of me, but that was part of it). I was within a month of so of driving down D street, as well. I THINK that was what ended things between us. She couldn't handle the guilt and would not allow me to let her be a "home wrecker". While her and I discussed those feelings and where things were heading, she disappeared. Gone! No signs of where she went. I know (or at least I believe) she left to stop me from filing. Maybe she foresaw the problems that we would have faced - I saw them too, but was willing to work through them. I know it's what she wanted, and I know it was probably the right decision, and that is why I haven't taken the search for her to higher levels.
Close on the heels of ATF, I had another dancer "fling", but it was one of those situations that we both knew wouldn't last. Ultimately, I was able to see that this girl was NOT worth ruining my current life for (Miss ATF was, however).
In both cases, they left dancing. Otherwise, there is no way that I could handle a real relationship with a dancer. I am a jealous-type guy. Until they quit, I suffered with thoughts of other guys playing with them - of the "opportunities" that they had DAILY to "step out" OTC with guys, etc. I couldn't live with those feelings.
Why would a dancer want to date someone like me? That question alone should convince me to never get burned, but it wasn't enough. I don't have moviestar looks, but I consider myself to be a little better than avg. I don't look my age - can pass for at least 10yrs younger than I am. I have a great job, good income, good sense of humor. I treat the girls well. All of those things were the answers that I came up with, and convinced me that it was possible. After those previously mentioned girls came the biggest ROB I have ever encountered. She took me for several $Ks, but she taught me a valuable lesson.
more later....
Can you date a stripper? Is it possible? Would you want to?
For anyone on this discussion forum, I think the answers for all of those questions SHOULD be an adamant NO!
I've been in this "hobby" for far too many years, and have had way too many experiences that have taught me way too many lessons - the HARD way to EVER want to go down that path, but still, it is far too easy to plunge ahead (with the other head steering).
Why would any grown man, especially a man that has some common sense, fall for a dancer? I think when his life is lacking that "excitement" that isn't being satisfied at home, the level of vulnerability rises to the level that common sense goes out the window. When there's a beautiful, sexy girl that is doing everything she can to make you want to be with her, it's difficult to put on the brakes.
I don't know where these girls learn their tricks of manipulation, but they have it down to a science. So much so that even when you see it coming, and know it's most likely a scam, walking away is usually not the first thing on your mind.
As mentioned in other dicsussions, I have "dated" a few strippers - okay, in honesty, I think I could only call it dating with two of the girls. The rest of them, it was just OTC fun and games, even though I might have had thoughts that it was more at the time.
My ATF was the first, and it lasted for nearly three years. It was a real roller coaster ride, with the last year seeing her divorce her husband (not only because of me, but that was part of it). I was within a month of so of driving down D street, as well. I THINK that was what ended things between us. She couldn't handle the guilt and would not allow me to let her be a "home wrecker". While her and I discussed those feelings and where things were heading, she disappeared. Gone! No signs of where she went. I know (or at least I believe) she left to stop me from filing. Maybe she foresaw the problems that we would have faced - I saw them too, but was willing to work through them. I know it's what she wanted, and I know it was probably the right decision, and that is why I haven't taken the search for her to higher levels.
Close on the heels of ATF, I had another dancer "fling", but it was one of those situations that we both knew wouldn't last. Ultimately, I was able to see that this girl was NOT worth ruining my current life for (Miss ATF was, however).
In both cases, they left dancing. Otherwise, there is no way that I could handle a real relationship with a dancer. I am a jealous-type guy. Until they quit, I suffered with thoughts of other guys playing with them - of the "opportunities" that they had DAILY to "step out" OTC with guys, etc. I couldn't live with those feelings.
Why would a dancer want to date someone like me? That question alone should convince me to never get burned, but it wasn't enough. I don't have moviestar looks, but I consider myself to be a little better than avg. I don't look my age - can pass for at least 10yrs younger than I am. I have a great job, good income, good sense of humor. I treat the girls well. All of those things were the answers that I came up with, and convinced me that it was possible. After those previously mentioned girls came the biggest ROB I have ever encountered. She took me for several $Ks, but she taught me a valuable lesson.
more later....
14 comments
A dancer once told me that if a guy got serious about her and wanted her to quit stripping, he should have enough money to make that possible. Otherwise, she will continue stripping as long as the money is good and she needs money. If she has to choose between the relationship and the money, the money will win.
A decent guy like you is the ideal that strippers say they want, but many might feel they can't have. Some of it is low self-esteem. And some of it is the independent spirit of strippers who just don't want the boring conformity of middle-class America, which they would have to accept in a committed "dating" relationship or marriage. "How will you introduce me at the company picnic after you decide I'm good enough to go?" Dating a stripper can end only one way--badly.
seems like your a decent guy i know you can find a nice woman and settle down with her, and have excitement on the side to tame your wild side. reevaluate your relationship with strippers.... know that they are just for your entertainment purposes only, getting emotional with them only leads to ruin. look at your first ATF, if you kept that one for fun and fun only you might have been able to keep her for longer for fun only. even if she went down D street with her hubby you still would have her for fun. dont let them ruin your real relationship. again these strippers are for entertainment and fun only.
To get emotionally involved with them will let a ROB get her hooks in you. I just enjoy them and there are so many here in Houston that fuck otc or itc. These are the best years of my life. All it takes is money.
Would I seriously date a stripper? Hell no. There is a reason that she is stripping for a living, and putting all of the stupid cliches behind I would be hard pressed to point out a stripper that was not a headcase in some way.
When getting caught up in the excitement and headiness of it all, keep this in mind: Is this the woman who is going to still be there when you are old and going senile? Will she be cooking dinner or helping you bathe, or will she have long since dumped you for an easier life. Is this really the woman you want as a mother to your children?
I know the answers that I come up with when I ask these questions to myself in the context of virtually every stripper I ever had a crush on.
Have fun while it lasts, but understand that it has a expiration date and don't ruin your life emotionally or financially over it. And, of course, there is no shame in mourning the loss of something special when it is time to let it go.
*note for the humor impaired: yes this is intended to be a joke*