investment update part 2

avatar for DickJohnson
DickJohnson
Illinois
hey guys thanks for all the great insight into my stripper CFP. I know its gonna pay off eventually. Kinda funny tho I ran into her at the airport, she really seemed shocked to see me. I grilled her hard on why she doesnt get a hold of me and she said that the FDA has been monitoring her for possible illegal invesstment activities. This kinda freaked me out so I demanded my money back and then she tells me she is flying to aruba right now to invest in "junk" bonds and that is absolutely gonna pay off big time. Evidently, I was under the investment limit for "junk" bonds so I gave her another 10k and she says she will contact me from aruba soon. I'm kinda scared now because I thought about it awhile and I dont trust this stripper CFP. I mean arent "junk" bonds exactly that, "junk" What kind of experienced and qualified CFP invests in those nowadays? anybody?

17 comments

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avatar for PerpetualTravel
PerpetualTravel
15 years ago
I didn't see part 1 but unless she's investing in food, I'm pretty sure you don't need to sweat the fda.
avatar for CTQWERTY
CTQWERTY
15 years ago
DJ, at least she hasn't plowed it into Euros.

Nothin' but blue skies and great sailing ahead!
avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
15 years ago
DJ, you just got screwed. But I think you liked it!!
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
15 years ago
I hope you at least were able to see her "junk".
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
15 years ago
DJ,

You are being overly worrisome. She is a professional and you need to trust her. I mean really, what are the odds that you would find one of the few dis-honest dancers?
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
15 years ago
I wonder how txtittyfan's short dollars and short treasuries are working out from him today?
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
15 years ago
I'd say he is short quite a few dollars now (not to mention short quite a few treasuries too) or short shorts I guess.
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
15 years ago
Good luck on your stripper investments. I think I missed part 1 too.

I actually listened to Jim Cramer from mad money today. Now I'm thinking about investing in some Cramer weapons of mass destruction. I just need the market to go up some tomorrow, peak and start reversing and then I'll pull the trigger. Everyone thank Cramer if the market blows up. After all he pointed out how to do it. I'm just not sure how the stripper junk will hold up. She did give you her cell number didn't she to reassure you?

Here I've been sitting in cash every since the market peaked and I could have been buying up weapons of mass destruction. Cramer is so brilliant. I'll leave the stripper junk to the real investment pro's though. Cramer must be a 2nd level investor because I never hear him talking about grabbing some stripper junk. The last time I tried to grab some stripper junk she moved my hand away. :(
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
15 years ago
We should know by Monday whether the whole world will fall apart or this Euro panic is finally over. I've been giving tx a super hard time lately, because the idiot deserves it, but if the EU does not fall apart here, I'm prepared to take profits (at last short term) on the dollars and treasuries.
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
15 years ago
How short treasuries and dollars working for you today, tittyfan?
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
15 years ago
Dick, I think this one ran out of runway and was a little forced, but previously very funny and thanks! And don't you mean "high yield" bonds ;)
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
15 years ago
Right now investing in boobs might actually yield a better return than all the shit going on with the stock market lately.
avatar for samsung1
samsung1
15 years ago
Invest in FUNNY MONEY!
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
15 years ago
Jesus what a day. Not only am I thinking of taking profits on those treasuries before the weekend, but I think it may finally be time to short them (for a little bit anyway). ;-)

Will the world still be there when we wake up Monday or should we spend all our savings on strippers this weekend since it will all be over anyway?
avatar for gk
gk
15 years ago
Gator, I wonder if silicone is in the futures market.
avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
15 years ago
Great idea, Dougster!!
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
15 years ago
Looks like the world is not ending after all.

I'm partially with tittyfan now. Short treasuries. Mind you he said to do it when TLT was at 87 (the day before it bottomed), and then it ran up to 99.75 this morning plus about 3.5 in dividends. A 19% loss assuming no leverage. WTF, tittyfan, you fucking moron!

I'd hold onto the US dollars, however.
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