tuscl

is it possible to have a casual and friendly relationship outside of work

Bella17
Hello, i'm a very new dancer, and im still learning alot of the rules. I don't know if this type of problem has come up before , but regardless, im just looking for some honest insight from you guys about this situation.
So, in a nut shell, When i am working, i look at it as buisness. I am all about mutual repect with my clients , and i do my best to fulfill the fantasy that they are seeking from visiting a strip club, because thats what my job is.
I only work a few shitfts a week, and i spend alot of time with the friends that i have known long before i ever started dancing, and participating in my usual activities outside of work such as competetive sports and other hobbies. This wouldnt be such a problem if it werent for the fact that some of the gentlemen that buy dances from me happen to be mutual friends with some of my closest friends and i happen to run into them from time to time when im not working. So, when i am hanging out with my friends when im not working, and these mutual friends suddenly show up, it begins feeling like two worlds that were never meant to collide, do collide, and could easily create problems for both of these worlds.
In real life, to be very honest , i am a VERY low maitnence ,athletic type of girl, who likes to watch ufc, make crude jokes and hang out with no makeup, wearing old blue jeans, while dowining full bodied beer and bacon cheeseburgers. Now, im not a big girl, im about 5ft5, 108lbs. i just have a fast metabolism i guess. BUt because some of these guys that have been buying regualr dances from me sometimes show up at friends of mines houses when i wasnt expecting them, im very worried that if they see me bieng myself outside of work ie: eating half the double meat pizza , after just playing a game of road hockey with my guy friends...that it will really ruin the fantasy for them when they see me at the club. im sure it probably will.

Im sorry, this really wasnt much of a nut shell, but i really wanted to hear what you guys would think if you ran into a girl who was a very well put together, girly girl in a strip club , and then saw her doing these doing these kinds of things outside of work. Unfortunatly I am not about to change my personailty outside outside of work, i enjoy who i am and my interests. ( one last thing, i am NOT butch, im very petite, and in very good shape because of the sports, and i have done some traditionall modeling work, just so that you know im not boyish looking, despite my interests.

Any insight would be helpfull, and once again, i apolagise for the length.

8 comments

  • Dain
    •
    15 years ago
    Bella17, don't worry about meeting "customers" inadvertently in a social situation. That won't diminish the fantasy-factor at all; if anything, that would add to it. Most guys fantasize about an inadvertent encounter. Believe it or not, they like their "fantasies" in the club to be more human. If it happens, just smile and interact normally. The guy will then be extremely eager to see you again soon--naked.
  • gk
    •
    15 years ago
    Yes, it's possible. Just be adult about it, don't be ashamed of your work, be comfortable in your own skin and don't violate anyone else's sense of privacy or comfort. Sometimes that's not easy. I once had a dancer acquaintance who said she never went out anywhere for fear she would run into a customer. Of course she was exagerating, but I understood her point.

    As to perceptions, we understand that you will look different in your "civies" and that you are allowed to eat and snack. It's OK to be yourself.
  • gatorfan
    •
    15 years ago
    Think about this, It works both ways that the customer could be equally concerned about running into a dancer outside too (and customers who are obnoxiously oblivious and might be rude about anything aren't one's you'd ever acknowledge outside anyway-- you know the old, do i know you? blow off routine to the rude or ignorant ones if they ever approached you).

    I can honestly say I've not had that happen to me, but if it did they should not tell your secret. Many customers are concerned for same reasons you are, their reputations could be affected too.
  • Marble
    •
    15 years ago
    I've been friends with dancers away from their jobs and I also routinely saw some of them in their jobs. I've heard they don't treat me the same as other customers in the club but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy their company. What guy wouldn't enjoy a pretty dancer taking off her clothes? I've lived with a few females so I know what goes on in a club can be all show while outside the club some people may cut loose and change personalities.
  • how
    •
    15 years ago
    Bella, if those "friends of mutual friends" had any problem due to seeing the real you, that would simply be their problem. You are you, and you know that's a good thing. You seem to have the right attitude and approach for success at your work and happiness in your life. Cheers!
  • txtittyfan
    •
    15 years ago
    You treat them as they would expect to be treated in the environment they are in. One of my past favorites also doubled as my hairstylist, as she worked in that field also.
  • shadowcat
    •
    15 years ago
    Bella, I find it odd that you speak in plurals. How could you possibly know that many unless you are hanging with a strip club crowd? I live 240 miles from my favorite club. I have run into 6 dancers at restaurants in the area. No problems. The 1st time I saw my current special friend was at an IHOP. She was having breakfast with her now EX. He had his back to me. As soon as she saw me me she waved and kept smiling at me throughout breakfast and waved again when leaving. Later at the club, I tried to tell several dancers about our chance meeting but they had already heard it from her. No need to worry!
  • Bella17
    •
    15 years ago
    Thanks for the male perspective on the topic , i feel alot better about the situation in general.

    I just today asked one of the guys ( yes shadowcat, there are more than one , about 4 to be exact ) why he diddnt bring this "hobby" of his to my attention before i became a dancer, he replied, and these are exact words, "well, i honestly diddnt think you would like the idea, you alwayse seemed like such a nice girl, i thought you would think of me differently after" - It turns out both him and i were worried about the others reaction,and evidently for no reason . *phew*
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