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Jamiebaybie

&nbsp;Thought I would use this opportunity to share my thoughts since I can't share them with anyone I know. Hope this is as anonymous as it appears! Basically I'm a MILF. I'm 32 and have a slammin body. I work hard shaping my ass so it looks good for my admirers. I have great boobs that look very natural after two kids! So from the front and from the back you won't be dissapointed. I have a round face that is very innocent and young looking. People say I'm 26 and look like Alicia Silverstone. Botox is a miracle! I never screw anyone out of money. I have integrety and charge the right amount for the correct amount of service. I'm between clubs right now. My last one just came to me with a new contract that would require a license to work. I'd rather not leave a trail for my kids to find later in life. So I'm writing this article so hopefully I will get VIP access to research new places. I'm thinking somewhere nude this time. This way I won't be tempted to drink. I can't get another DUI. If I did, I would find myself in jail for 30 days. I can't leave my babies for even one day.<br />
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So why I am stripping is because my husband is a fucking asshole. Yep, he is. We met when I was bartending at a strip club. He is 12 years older than I am. I started dancing when we were taking a break from dating. He came into the club I was working at with a bachelor party and saw me on stage for the first time. I went out after work with the bachelor party and then continued to date him for a couple of years off and on. During this time I was high on Xanax and mixing with alcohol. I was a total mess. I finally cleaned up and told him I wanted a family. So he got me pregnant right away. I told my parents, who I lived with at the time, and my dad said I had to move out immediately. He was pissed because he had other plans for me which included moving away and helping my parents pay for their condo. That's probably why I got pregnant becasue I didn't want to move. Anyway, I didn't work while pregnant. I went to school and took out student loans. About 6 months after baby I was back to a bangin body and had bills to pay. I worked very hard four shifts a week from 9-3am and would wake up with the baby at 6. It was extremely hard and aged me about ten years. I did pay my bills off. All but my student loan. Then we moved and got pregnant again. This time I was still going to school and had to pay for child care. I figured I would be able to pay it off again after baby. I'm forgetting to mention that during this whole time I would have to charge, gas, groceries, car payment, school, books, childcare, and basic living expenses. My husband who makes excelent money paid the rent and bills. So now my second baby is one and I am in massive debt. The economy has tanked and money at the clubs has declined significantly. My most recent club wanted me to sign a contract that would 1099 my income. My husband says no to that and no to licenses. His income is a healthy six figures and he won't even pay for the groceries. He expects me to go into more debt every day and then take care of the kids all day and then go to work at night and wake up with them in the morning. I'm starting to feel like there is no hope for me. I'm feeling like I'll never get out of this whole I have dug myslef into. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;<br />
I'm starting to wonder if this is his way of controling me. It's kind of a feeling that I can't explain logically. He isn't very social and stays home a lot on the evenings and weekends. He doesn't really want to hang with any other couples. He doesn't help me at all with the kids. His idea of helping is turning on the tv for them. He gives me grief for leaving to get my hair done every six weeks. &nbsp;I do everything, bath them, feed them, take them to games and practice, nurture, and up with them at night after working. Is there something wrong with this picture? I feel like I knew his personality when I signed up for this so I have no right asking for something different. I would never break up the family becasue of my needs. I have two kids to consider. They need to be with their father. I can't imagine the alternative.&nbsp;<br />
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I'm living in SoCal looking for a club in Anaheim to work at to dig myself out of this whole. I do enjoy my job for the most part. I love being on stage and making a connection with people. I can relate to most all of the customers. I do have trouble with dancers when I start making big money at a club. I hope this sense of hopelessness with go away someday soon. I can't dance for much longer. I don't want to be one of those old bag strippers. Hope I'm not already. Thank you for listening. Thank you for reading. I don't expect any sympathy here. I know most of these posts are about how to get more out of girls like me. I play that fine line game too.<br />
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Jayme<br />
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