Why I'm Stripping

avatar for Jamiebaybie
Jamiebaybie
&nbsp;Thought I would use this opportunity to share my thoughts since I can't share them with anyone I know. Hope this is as anonymous as it appears! Basically I'm a MILF. I'm 32 and have a slammin body. I work hard shaping my ass so it looks good for my admirers. I have great boobs that look very natural after two kids! So from the front and from the back you won't be dissapointed. I have a round face that is very innocent and young looking. People say I'm 26 and look like Alicia Silverstone. Botox is a miracle! I never screw anyone out of money. I have integrety and charge the right amount for the correct amount of service. I'm between clubs right now. My last one just came to me with a new contract that would require a license to work. I'd rather not leave a trail for my kids to find later in life. So I'm writing this article so hopefully I will get VIP access to research new places. I'm thinking somewhere nude this time. This way I won't be tempted to drink. I can't get another DUI. If I did, I would find myself in jail for 30 days. I can't leave my babies for even one day.<br />
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So why I am stripping is because my husband is a fucking asshole. Yep, he is. We met when I was bartending at a strip club. He is 12 years older than I am. I started dancing when we were taking a break from dating. He came into the club I was working at with a bachelor party and saw me on stage for the first time. I went out after work with the bachelor party and then continued to date him for a couple of years off and on. During this time I was high on Xanax and mixing with alcohol. I was a total mess. I finally cleaned up and told him I wanted a family. So he got me pregnant right away. I told my parents, who I lived with at the time, and my dad said I had to move out immediately. He was pissed because he had other plans for me which included moving away and helping my parents pay for their condo. That's probably why I got pregnant becasue I didn't want to move. Anyway, I didn't work while pregnant. I went to school and took out student loans. About 6 months after baby I was back to a bangin body and had bills to pay. I worked very hard four shifts a week from 9-3am and would wake up with the baby at 6. It was extremely hard and aged me about ten years. I did pay my bills off. All but my student loan. Then we moved and got pregnant again. This time I was still going to school and had to pay for child care. I figured I would be able to pay it off again after baby. I'm forgetting to mention that during this whole time I would have to charge, gas, groceries, car payment, school, books, childcare, and basic living expenses. My husband who makes excelent money paid the rent and bills. So now my second baby is one and I am in massive debt. The economy has tanked and money at the clubs has declined significantly. My most recent club wanted me to sign a contract that would 1099 my income. My husband says no to that and no to licenses. His income is a healthy six figures and he won't even pay for the groceries. He expects me to go into more debt every day and then take care of the kids all day and then go to work at night and wake up with them in the morning. I'm starting to feel like there is no hope for me. I'm feeling like I'll never get out of this whole I have dug myslef into. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;<br />
I'm starting to wonder if this is his way of controling me. It's kind of a feeling that I can't explain logically. He isn't very social and stays home a lot on the evenings and weekends. He doesn't really want to hang with any other couples. He doesn't help me at all with the kids. His idea of helping is turning on the tv for them. He gives me grief for leaving to get my hair done every six weeks. &nbsp;I do everything, bath them, feed them, take them to games and practice, nurture, and up with them at night after working. Is there something wrong with this picture? I feel like I knew his personality when I signed up for this so I have no right asking for something different. I would never break up the family becasue of my needs. I have two kids to consider. They need to be with their father. I can't imagine the alternative.&nbsp;<br />
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I'm living in SoCal looking for a club in Anaheim to work at to dig myself out of this whole. I do enjoy my job for the most part. I love being on stage and making a connection with people. I can relate to most all of the customers. I do have trouble with dancers when I start making big money at a club. I hope this sense of hopelessness with go away someday soon. I can't dance for much longer. I don't want to be one of those old bag strippers. Hope I'm not already. Thank you for listening. Thank you for reading. I don't expect any sympathy here. I know most of these posts are about how to get more out of girls like me. I play that fine line game too.<br />
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Jayme<br />
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12 comments

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avatar for ChoclatDiva_1
ChoclatDiva_1
15 years ago
Sweetheart, one woman to another, sometimes it IS better to leave than to let your kids see you suffering. Kids are very observant, and will take the way he treats you as the way a relationship should be. Let them see you happy and productive!
avatar for Officer
Officer
15 years ago
good article, interesting to read----at least in LA you have a huge selection of clubs to work in!!!!
avatar for Vivienne
Vivienne
15 years ago
I concur with CholatDva...your kids will grow up seeing a dysfunctional relationship and will only have that for an example of how to be in a relationship themselves.&nbsp; I had the sameline of thought you do about not breaking up because of the kids but I changed my mind and it was the best choice I ever made.&nbsp; As far as dancing, I started dancing at 36.&nbsp; I have a Bachelor's degree and am working on my Master's but the job market sucks so much right now I'm having a hard time finding a full-time job.&nbsp; I can feel your pain but I am enjoying the club and I don't do too terribly bad, so make the best of the time you have left dancing, have a backup plan, get your education even if it requires loans (I have them), and do what's best for you and your kids.&nbsp; Your hubby DOES NOT seem to be the answer to that.
avatar for MisterGuy
MisterGuy
15 years ago
&quot;They need to be with their father.&quot;<br />
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<span style="font-size: larger;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Ummm, with all due respect, no they don't.&nbsp; Your husband is obviously an emotionally abusive man.&nbsp; I bet that you would do <i>much better</i> financially if you <b>dumped</b> his sorry ass and then made him pay child support.&nbsp; At least <i>then</i> you would have some money for your kids!&nbsp; Good luck...</span></span><br type="_moz" />
avatar for paulrevere
paulrevere
15 years ago
If your husband is refusing access to his income to help pay for basic items, there is something wrong with that.&nbsp; His money is your money - I am not a lawyer, but think that is true legally as well as just in basic terms of how marriages/relationships work.&nbsp; I think he needs an ultimatum on that.&nbsp; You are exactly right that all of us guys are trying to get the most we can for our dollar in a strip club, but honestly if you started telling me this stuff there I would probably break down and cry - and I've heard some pretty sad stuff from strippers.&nbsp; Don't let him get away with this - he needs to contribute his money fully to the relationship.&nbsp; Then, if you still need to work, go ahead and do it, but on your terms.<br />
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I agree with the other men and women on this - your relationship sounds like it is problematic enough that you need to seriously think about whether it will truly be best for your kids or not.&nbsp; Some of us guys are ones to talk - both my kids are nearly grown up and I may have stayed in a less than perfect relationship for them, but it was not problematic at the level yours is - never any money issues or gross irresponsibility.&nbsp; Do what is right for you, sweetheart.&nbsp; It sounds like you deserve much better.
avatar for sanitago
sanitago
15 years ago
I'm sorry I can't help you out on the job front, but as far as your husband goes, he's an asshole. he should either be a man and step up to support his family, or you should tell him to take his ass somewhere else.<br type="_moz" />
avatar for Heph
Heph
15 years ago
&nbsp;Here's another vote for dumping this abusive asshole.
avatar for stripclubspy
stripclubspy
15 years ago
Divorce your husband and get child support.&nbsp; With a six figure income he can afford it. <br />
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Find a man who appreciates your patience, loyalty, and qualities as a mother.&nbsp; Or stay single.<br />
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Treat YOURSELF with respect by demanding that others treat YOU with respect.<br />
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<br type="_moz" />
avatar for 59
59
15 years ago
Agree, your husband sounds like a big time A-hole. Why do the kids need to be with their so-called father? May be the biological father but doesn't sound like a Dad.<br />
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Why stay, is the sex that good or something? I wish you well.
avatar for db8max
db8max
15 years ago
Obviously you should dump him for the reasons you mention (if true.)&nbsp; If California is a joint ownership state then you basically have a right to half of what he has.&nbsp; If there are grounds for divorce you will get something in the divorce, and he will be required to pay child support (of course he could try to dodge that.)&nbsp; BUT, the problem you will face is custody of the children. Sounds like he wouldn't want to have custody of them, but he could fight you on it for spite and bring up your dancing career to try to show you shouldn't have custody.&nbsp; I'd have a consult with a knowledgeable divorce lawyer to lay out the pros and cons.&nbsp; Don't just go find another job and dig yourself further in the hole both financially and physically.<br type="_moz" />
avatar for WOODDR2
WOODDR2
15 years ago
Hope things are better for you, are you dancing at a club currently, some of us would like to see you.
avatar for bigdude012
bigdude012
15 years ago
Choclat Diva's right boys grow up to be like their fathers and will see this as the appropriate way to treat women; if girls then they will see this as the&nbsp; way a woman should be treated.&nbsp; If you cannot leave the guy for your own benefit then dump him for the benefit of your children
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