• articles >
• FONDL

FONDL

SOME FINAL THOUGHTS<br />
<br />
Aside from my second visit to an alternative universe, several aspects of this&nbsp;tale still amaze me.&nbsp; Fist of all, timing was everything.&nbsp; If we hadn't met exactly when we did, none of this would have happened.&nbsp; We were each ready for each other.&nbsp; Timing is clearly everything in life, and in this case it was perfect.&nbsp; I also believe that all successful relationships are built on the abilitly and willingness of two people to fill one another's needs.&nbsp; From the&nbsp;very beginning it became obvious to both of us that&nbsp;we each had exactly what the other needed and were willing to share.<br />
<br />
Secondly, when I first met Funny Girl, I didn't think there would be much depth to her.&nbsp; She seemed like one of those what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of people, who carries&nbsp;everything right on the surface for all to see.&nbsp; In fact that was one of her early attractions for me, I like people like that, there's no bullshit, everything's out in the open.&nbsp; But as I got to know her I discovered that was a mask she wore, that she is extremely complex, maybe as complex a person as any I've ever met.&nbsp; A friend of mine used to say that getting to know someone is like peeling an onion - you keep peeling away&nbsp;each layer to reach the next one.&nbsp; I eventually discovered that she&nbsp;wore an incredible number of layers (or masks if you prefer).&nbsp; And I honestly believe that I'm tthe only [person who has ever seen her without any of them, I've seen&nbsp;her core.<br />
<br />
Third, we discovered early on that we had an awful lot of common interests.&nbsp; On the surface we couldn't be more different - I'm nearly 40 years older than she is, I come from an upper-middle-class background where everyone follows the rules while her background is about as different from that as you could imagine.&nbsp; I'm somewhat introverted and she's one of the most outgoing people there is.&nbsp; I'm fairly reserved, she's all action.&nbsp; And yet we seem to fit together like hand and glove.&nbsp; When we're together there's never a lull in the conversation or an uncomfortable moment.&nbsp;&nbsp; We're both interested in many of the same things.&nbsp; And we share many basic beliefs, which may be the most important thing of all.<br />
<br />
And finally, when we first began I was her teacher - she'd ask questions and I'd&nbsp;do my best&nbsp;to answer them.&nbsp; She&nbsp;is very inquisitive, almost like a small child.&nbsp; But gradually I began to realize that I was learning at least as much from her as&nbsp;she was from me.&nbsp;&nbsp;And I began to regard her&nbsp;as my teacher.&nbsp; And&nbsp;maybe that's the most amazing part of all -&nbsp;how&nbsp;much I've learned from her would fill a book.&nbsp; My whole outlook on life has changed.&nbsp; I&nbsp;taught her some facts and&nbsp;maybe how to make better choices in life.&nbsp; She taught me how to enjoy life, how to be happy again.&nbsp; How to live life to its fullest.&nbsp; She's the most alive person I've ever met.&nbsp; <br />
<br />
I think&nbsp;hers must be a very old soul&nbsp; - I can't believe how much wisdom she possesses for being so young. One of the things that intrigued me from the very beginning was how intelligent she was and how much she knew about some things&nbsp;but how little she knew about&nbsp;others.&nbsp; It's like she wasn't quite complete, like there were little pieces missing here and there.&nbsp; I used to think of her as having an almost unique&nbsp;ability to see the world through the eyes of a child.&nbsp; It was very charming.&nbsp; I've taught her an awful lot.&nbsp; She's taught me 10 times more.&nbsp; I've never known anyone remotely like her.&nbsp;<br />
<br />
I don't know if anyone else has ever had an experience remotely like the one that I have described.&nbsp; It's been truly a life altering experience.&nbsp; When Funny Girl and&nbsp;I first met, we were both over weight, out of shape&nbsp;and suffering from depression (she was under a doctor's care and on anti-depressants at the time.)&nbsp; We talked for hours about our problems and our feelings (we used to joke that we were each other's therapist, which wasn't far from the truth.)&nbsp; And we encouraged each other to work out regularly and to eat a healthier diet,&nbsp;frequently giving each other tips (we still do - we've both since become real health nuts - we're running a 5k together next month.)&nbsp; As a result I am healthier today, as is she, and neither of us suffer from depression any more (she stopped taking&nbsp;all medication 5 years ago.)&nbsp; I'm not sure I'd be alive today if she hadn't come into my life when she did.&nbsp; I think she saved my life.<br />
<br />
One of her favorite&nbsp;quotes is&nbsp;a Zen Buddhist saying, &quot;When the student is ready the teacher will appear.&quot;&nbsp; I was ready.&nbsp; She appeared.&nbsp; Thank you, God.