What Makes a Good Strip Club Review?
Warrior15
Anywhere there are Titties.
1. Am I going to have a good time at this club? There are number of factors that go into this. Are the girls friendly? Is the staff welcoming? Is the music too loud? Is it too dark? Too much light, are the chairs comfortable. Would I hang out at this place even if there were no naked women.
2. Are the women attractive? Now we all have different opinions on what is attractive. So I would like someone to describe what the average girl there looks like. We are all looking for different things. Blonde spinner, thick AA, Latino with bolt-ons, girl next door, Victoria Secret model, etc.
3. How much do things cost? How much money do I need to bring to have a good time? If you are used to $10 lap dances, then you are going to get sticker shock at the Spearmint Rhino in Vegas. Parking, cover charge, drinks, VIP, dances, extras. I want to see details of what people are paying. I don't want to go into a club and pay a girl $300 for something that others are getting for $125. And I would think the locals don't want me to pay the extra amount or the girls might think they can raise their prices.
4. Am I going to get my rocks off? Every club has different rules. What is allowed and what is not. Is there a VIP and is there any "action" in that VIP. I don't want to pay the extra amount when I'm going to get the same dance that I would get in the main area. We say mileage, but what exactly are you talking about when you say you are getting mileage. I admit I’m an "Extras" guy. Doesn't have to be for me to have a good time though. But I do want to know if that is on the menu.
5. This might sound a bit peculiar, but I have a reason for it. How do I dress? I worked in large banks for years and wore a suit & tie every day. Now I dress as comfortable as possible. But how you dress in a club can determine how the dancers perceive you. In Diamond Dolls in Pompano Beach, I have the loosest shorts I can find. But many clubs won't allow you to wear shorts. And in many high end clubs, the girls won't approach you unless you look successful. Go to Eleven in Miami. The place has the feel more of a pick-up bar than a strip club. You want to look like you are at a singles bar.
These are the things I try to learn when I'm reading reviews here. I am sure that others have some more items they would like to add.
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If it is my first trip to a club, I will give a description of the club because it is my first time.
After that I will only give updates on club details when there is something new.
Writing a detailed review takes time. I appreciate those who take the time to give me Intel I can use. I try to do the same.
I try to describe details about the club from when one enters the club - i.e.:
+ parking situation (free; paid; hard to park; easy to park; etc)
+ cover-charge (often times the info on the club's page can be missing, incorrect, or not described in full)
+ dance price - again can be incorrect on the club's page; or incomplete (different dayshift price vs nigthshift price)- also try to mention dance-specials
+ drink prices - I'm not much of a drinker but at least specify what I paid for what I drank
+ # of dancers - often difficult if not impossible to have an absolutely precise # - but I will at least state whether it was a good # of dancers for the size crowd/club, or if it was a sausage fest
+ I try to rate the dancers from the POV of how the avg SCer might see them not necessarily what they do for me looks-wise - and also describe how they look in terms of type (e.g. almost all skinny girls; or good balance of thick and skinny girls; or plastic parts all over the place) - also describe ethnicity (good mix; all white-chicks) etc
+ describe mileage overall - e.g. most girls give good-mileage; or it's a LM club - or it's hit or miss depending on the dancer
+ also try to list the VIP prices as best I know them (since I don't do VIP in most of my visits)
+ whether girls circulate or you gotta have a cardboard sign saying "will pay for dances"
Then i go into the lineup that worked that night by name along with personal ratings and description unless there are too many girls in which case i'll give more of a summary. I'll describe the stage and what usually goes on there as that is a considerable interest for many clubgoers and PLs whether for whetting one's appetite or if that's the main reason for going. Then i''ll describe what private dances and VIPs entail and how much they are and what you might expect to go on.
All this is hard to do in a short review. To get into advanced strategies/tricks/tactics for a particular club would just add to an already long review. Maybe my first review (the shortest) was probably the most efficient, but it was also just one long paragraph and hard to read. I've since been much more detailed.
Finally, i'll conclude with my personal assessment of the club and if i felt it was worth visiting. I won't however, go into specific dancers unless they were ROBs, but i've been pretty good at avoiding them lately. Lot of your questions are more related to variables outside your control (varying dancers and customers at a particular time) than really club dependent. Like taking a dancer away from a regular? That's a can of worms that i'd rather not open in a review as that depends heavily on the dancer and PL, probably more the PL. I don't cater my review to a particular type of PL or a specific customer and what he may want and just provide a general expectation of the place. In the end YMMV or will vary, so don't take my word for it and you have decide if you want to try it for yourself and come to your own conclusions. All that other stuff? Probably better answered in discussions or PMs or review props.
Your review will be sent to our editors for approval, so it is suggested that you read our review guidelines.
Content and length are the two most important factors to consider.
Be wordy. Fill the review box. One or two sentence reviews aren't helpful to anyone.
Give a LOT of details in your review (club layout, atmosphere, dance quality, etc.).
Your review should be at least 4 solid paragraphs, with 4-7 sentences each.
One paragraph should describe the club vibe. Mention cleanliness, thug factor, music level, dj annoyance factor, lighting, etc.
Another paragraph should describe the dancers and their vampiness. How many were there? What ethicities did you see? Did they seem happy to see you?
A third paragraph should be about value. Don't say drinks, dances, cover charge, etc. were cheap or expensive. Tell us the actual costs!
At least one paragraph should summarize with three or four sentences describing why you would or would not return to the club.
Be honest. You can go into detail of the private dances. Just be careful with names if it may get your ATF in trouble.
Spelling, grammar, and punctuation count. Do not use ALL CAPITAL LETTERS! When composing a review, spell check it.
Pro Tip 1: Think about what you would like to tell your good buddy about a strip club he's never been to.
Pro Tip 2: Think about the business traveler that is sitting in his hotel room with only time enough to hit one club in this new town. Let him know why or why not he should visit a particular club.
We have a zero tolerance policy for plagiarism. If we find out you submit a review as your own from another site, your account will be deleted.
@taxi driver - some clubs are rather large, and/or rather dark, the club descriptions aren't to sell you on the club, they're to help orient first time visitors. i appreciate knowing where the men's room is w/o having to ask. if there's multiple VIP areas and multiple dance options I appreciate knowing that too. sometimes certain club areas will be closed off during a particular visit, so again, I appreciate having a head's up that there's more to the club than you might first think
1. What do the dancers look like? The 1 to 10 scale is OK.
2. What are the dance options (table, lap, VIP, etc.) and what do they cost?
3. Are extras available and, if so, at what cost?
4. Anything else that effects the club experience: relentless drink push, too loud music, annoying DJ, etc.
I know this is only for that small % of clubs. But it is useful when it applies.
SJG
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