No Balls for a Decade and My Plans for SC to Help Remedy That
Ok, Ok. The title is a little misleading.I have only been without testicles for a year now, but I was down to one testicle for about 16 years. When I was 16 years old I was diagnosed with testicular cancer.The 1st step in treating testicular cancer, is to remove the testicle. Well, actually they can't even confirm it is cancer until the testicle is removed and they can do a biopsy. At that time, I also went through Chemo and the whole 9 yards.Fast forward to last year and I feel a lump in my remaining testicle. They tried to only remove 1/2 of it to leave me with something but that didn't turn out so well and they had to remove the whole thing. Again, I went through chemo but much more intense this time. If you would like me to write an article about that whole experience, I will be happy to. But i am just laying down the background for where I am at now.
So living most of my post pubescent life with only 1 testicle made me very self conscious.My personality was always a bit more reserved but with only 1 testicle, made me scared shitless to approach women in a sexual way. I am now 32 and I have never hooked up, never dated, never even drunkenly made out. Now I know what most of you must be thinking right now "his lack of game has nothing to do with his balls or the lack there of. He is probably some ugly ass socially backward star trek nerd." I will be the 1st to admit that I am no Adonis, but I am also not bad to look upon. I am also a bit awkward but more in the we will laugh about this later. And my source for my appeal is not simply because my mother says I how handsome I am. There have been a few very attractive women who either told me directly or I found out from 3rd party source, that had crushes on me and was wishing I made a move. One I found out as she was moving out of state, another was an employee and I am not going to risk my career over that, and the third although attractive had some serious baggage. Now do I agree that if I would grow some theoretical balls, the lack of physical balls wouldn't be an issue, Absolutely! And now I am mentally ok with not having any balls but the fear I have now is that I am 32 and have never had sex, hell I have never even madeout before. I am sure you all can recall your 1st times and how awkward that was. As a teenager that awkwardness is ok because it is probably one of her 1st times too.As a 32 year old, it is very unlikely it will be hers too.
So I am afraid of being the real life version of the movie "40 year old virgin" So I have come up with a plan to get some of this early awkwardness out of the way and to become more comfortable with the sexual side of things.
Step1: go to strip clubs. Get comfortable around a naked woman. Talk to women when they are being paid to pretend you are interesting. This can be kinda a confidence booster. Then of course get comfortable touching, squeezing, and slapping a naked woman. Maybe even get some extras to get use to a woman touching you. Although the 1st time i went last week there was no extras to be found or I am not good/smart enough to know how to get them.
Step 2: Get on Tinder. This is suppose to be a dating app where the main go is just hooking up.So this way I am getting there really clumsy 1st times out of the way with people I wouldn't normally interact with on a daily basis.The thing with this is that I won't be able to put up an actual pic of myself because I have employees that use this app and I am in a big company and I am in a position in this company that I really don't need that spread around. So I was thinking about making the profile pics be a bunch of pics of pairs of balls. like a pair of tennis balls, a pair of golf balls, or a pair of bowling balls. i would make this profile very much about me not having any balls since that is not a well known thing at work and woman would be curious. For example does anything come out when he orgasms? And there is only 1 way to find that out. Then maybe a few will give me some sympathy lays, I'm not too proud for that.
Step 3: Start meeting woman in real life. Go on date with woman I would actually want to have a relationship with and not be worried that I would be a huge disappointment in bed.
Well that is the plan I have made. Feel free to comment how idiotic it is. Or if you have some advice to improve the plan or if you have a better plan, I am all ears.
So living most of my post pubescent life with only 1 testicle made me very self conscious.My personality was always a bit more reserved but with only 1 testicle, made me scared shitless to approach women in a sexual way. I am now 32 and I have never hooked up, never dated, never even drunkenly made out. Now I know what most of you must be thinking right now "his lack of game has nothing to do with his balls or the lack there of. He is probably some ugly ass socially backward star trek nerd." I will be the 1st to admit that I am no Adonis, but I am also not bad to look upon. I am also a bit awkward but more in the we will laugh about this later. And my source for my appeal is not simply because my mother says I how handsome I am. There have been a few very attractive women who either told me directly or I found out from 3rd party source, that had crushes on me and was wishing I made a move. One I found out as she was moving out of state, another was an employee and I am not going to risk my career over that, and the third although attractive had some serious baggage. Now do I agree that if I would grow some theoretical balls, the lack of physical balls wouldn't be an issue, Absolutely! And now I am mentally ok with not having any balls but the fear I have now is that I am 32 and have never had sex, hell I have never even madeout before. I am sure you all can recall your 1st times and how awkward that was. As a teenager that awkwardness is ok because it is probably one of her 1st times too.As a 32 year old, it is very unlikely it will be hers too.
So I am afraid of being the real life version of the movie "40 year old virgin" So I have come up with a plan to get some of this early awkwardness out of the way and to become more comfortable with the sexual side of things.
Step1: go to strip clubs. Get comfortable around a naked woman. Talk to women when they are being paid to pretend you are interesting. This can be kinda a confidence booster. Then of course get comfortable touching, squeezing, and slapping a naked woman. Maybe even get some extras to get use to a woman touching you. Although the 1st time i went last week there was no extras to be found or I am not good/smart enough to know how to get them.
Step 2: Get on Tinder. This is suppose to be a dating app where the main go is just hooking up.So this way I am getting there really clumsy 1st times out of the way with people I wouldn't normally interact with on a daily basis.The thing with this is that I won't be able to put up an actual pic of myself because I have employees that use this app and I am in a big company and I am in a position in this company that I really don't need that spread around. So I was thinking about making the profile pics be a bunch of pics of pairs of balls. like a pair of tennis balls, a pair of golf balls, or a pair of bowling balls. i would make this profile very much about me not having any balls since that is not a well known thing at work and woman would be curious. For example does anything come out when he orgasms? And there is only 1 way to find that out. Then maybe a few will give me some sympathy lays, I'm not too proud for that.
Step 3: Start meeting woman in real life. Go on date with woman I would actually want to have a relationship with and not be worried that I would be a huge disappointment in bed.
Well that is the plan I have made. Feel free to comment how idiotic it is. Or if you have some advice to improve the plan or if you have a better plan, I am all ears.
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12 comments
Okay, on to your plan: someone with your lack of experience with women in general, would be the absolute worst match for the strip club. I'd cross off option 1 -- and suggest you do so in the strongest possible terms. I'd concentrate on meeting women in real life -- Tinder, Match, etc. are fine ways to make an initial connection, but IRL is always best, of course.
I've been with quite a few "normal" girls that probably never even looked down there, I think, maybe just to make sure there was a condom on.
At a strip club? well, last night when she got down on her knees I unzipped and pulled out pretty much only the part you aren't missing, she'd pretty much have never known about something like that... It's not someplace where you can pull your pants off and fold them over the armrest...