Dear Club Owner: A letter and story for the season PART 2
carlos_spiceyweiner
Ohio
Dear Club Owner:
Thanks for a good 2014, and I look forward to an even better 2015. But you and I need to talk. See, we have a problem that needs addressed.
Like most customers, I'm by no means a rich man, but I have disposable income every month I put aside just for clubbing. Usually it's $300-$500--sometimes much more. I'd really like to drop all that in your club. Apparently, you've decided to give me one reason after another to pocket that cash and spend it on something else, like ice cream.
But I prefer titties and ass, so let's work on changing a few things so you can get me, and lots of other guys like me, through your doors again.
Item 1: Clean up your act. I may be a club hound, but I'm no animal. Just because I'm a man doesn't mean I'm willing to wallow in filth to see some girls in thongs with their tits hanging out. So how about scrubbing down your club--especially your men's room. Odds are I'll be taking a piss at some point. I'd like to wash and dry my hands, but sometimes I can't because you have no soap or towels. Just a suggestion, you can spend one buck on each down the street at the dollar store, so quit being fucking cheap. As for that pissy smell coming from the floor--you may have a sewer problem. You might want to get it fixed before you get shut down. You also might want to sweep your floors, vacuum the couches and carpet and clean up the messes in your VIP areas nightly. I'm no wilting flower, but I'd like to be shown a little respect when I spend my hard earned dollars. You can do that by respecting your business and making it presentable. Hint: If I spent $300 at a nice restaurant, I wouldn't want my steak and lobster delivered on a garbage can lid. You can do better as well.
Item 2: Fix your damn parking lots. The Nest helped get itself in trouble because of its unlit, dark parking areas, which were havens for crime. I didn't like going there after dark just for that reason. I'm also not going to park my car in a lot full of potholes and broken class--which I've seen at some high end clubs. Please do all of us a favor with some repaving and install some bright security lights and cameras. Measures like these will do wonders when it comes to bringing good guys in and keeping bad ones out. I also want you to do it to keep your dancers safe. They have a right to expect to expect to walk to and from their vehicles without worry.
Item 3: Keep the pimps out. I used to think pimps were only an issue in dive clubs, but I'm hearing these assholes are popping up everywhere, taking a place at the bar or occupying a table at some really nice clubs. Pimps are a serious problem wherever they go because they bring their illegal business (and all that comes with it) on your turf. Did you work hard to open your own club just to give some freeloading asshole a convenient place to set up shop? And do you really think your customers want to hand a dancer a pile of bills after a great VIP only to see her tuck it into the pocket of some walking piece of shit who calls himself Sugar Bear or Big Tex? You know who these guys are. Tell them to move down the street.
Item 4: Keep the drugs out. Yeah, I know. Keeping drugs out of clubs is like keeping a fat kid away from his Halloween candy. But there's still plenty you can do to minimize the problem--far more than just posting a no drugs policy. You have to make a stand by taking action--for example, by looking for dancers who are geeked out and sending them home. That doesn't mean waiting till they OD, collapse on stage or piss themselves in front of customers (as I've seen). You know the signs of drug use. You also should be able to spot someone dealing in your club. Keep in mind that the vast majority of dancers and customers hate a druggy workplace and atmosphere. Even if Uncle LEO hasn't visited you yet, you can bet in time he will if your club gets the wrong reputation.
Item 5: Get your dancers to work. Sure, I know they're usually "independent contractors," but it's your business and they need to abide by your rules. Those rules should include not letting a paying customer sit at your bar and sip a drink while being ignored by a bunch of dancers lounging around looking at their phones. There's an old saying in the car sales business: A man doesn't walk onto the lot unless he wants to buy. It's the same way at your club. When your dancers don't approach us, we get really pissed and don't return. Are you honestly happy letting me take my pocketful of cash out the door and down the street because your dancers simply don't care about your business, or are you going to do something about it!!??
Item 6: Quit hiring meathead bouncers. I actually have some sympathy for bouncers. Most of the time we see them as obstacles to navigate for extra services. But they're also a necessary part of some clubs to ensure customer and dancer safety. Even though they get to spend their work hours around hot, naked women, they also have plenty of shit to deal with: drunks and abusive customers, along with dancers and an endless stream of complaints, fighting, tears and bitchiness. That doesn't mean they can be rude or violent to customers. If I or another guy gets out of line, your bouncer should enforce the rules per the severity of the "sin." I don't need yelled at or treated like a child if my hands move too high up a dancer's body in VIP. Simply being politely reminded of the rules probably is enough. If the buddy I brought in gets too drunk and grabs a dancer's ass, he doesn't need brutally dragged to the door by some gorilla. I've met plenty of bouncers who were tough and smart. You should hire one.
Item 7: Quit draining us dry. TUSCL member Papi_Chulo reminded me of this when he mentioned how much he despised being hit by exorbitant parking, entry and mandatory drink fees. He also complained about tip parades that compel customers to hand over cash to girls they haven't even seen dance yet. I completely agree. I'm a grown man. I've brought in a bunch of money to spend as I want, and I will spend it. Please don't try to suck an extra $50+ out of my wallet on things I don't value. Sell me something I do want, and I'll be back often.
Item 8: Get involved in your business. This applies to all my other items, but I'm speaking mainly to owners who are new at the strip club game. Several of you have opened clubs near me (thanks!), but you're apparently satisfied with letting your business take care of itself. Bad move. That's a good way of saying good bye to a lot of revenue. Do something about it. How about spending some time going to other clubs to see what makes them successful. Or talk to an industry professional for advice. You also can talk to your customers and dancers. Veteran dancers can be great sources of advice since they know what makes them (and you) money.
And why not show your face in the club more often? If you're fine with sitting at home making what dollars you can, fine. Just remember, if you worked a bit harder and put some money in your joint, you'd probably end up with a lot more in your pocket. A lot more. You'd also have a lot fewer problems when it comes to the cops, health inspectors, and keeping a steady stream of hot dancers and good, satisfied clientele under your roof.
Respectfully,
Your customers
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11 comments
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Item 1: Clean up your act. AGREED.
Item 2: Fix your damn parking lots. AGREED.
Item 3: Keep the pimps out.
Agreed here as well, though sometimes easier said than done. I think that the better clubs do a pretty good job of this, but it is impossible to completely control.
Item 4: Keep the drugs out.
Same as my response for Item 3.
Item 5: Get your dancers to work.
This old complaint again. Why does this site have so many guys who complain about this issue? Most clubs simply cannot get away with micromanaging these girls that much, for a lot of reasons. Truth be told though, I don't have much of a problem in getting the attention of girls that I want and I cannot help but wonder why it is so much more difficult for some of the complainers around here.
Item 6: Quit hiring meathead bouncers.
Fiar enough, though I don't run afoul of bouncers all that often, so I'm not sure how big an issue this really is.
Item 7: Quit draining us dry.
Eh, more or less comes with the turf in some places. I agree with this in principle, but I'm not going to change where I club over another couple of 20s.
Item 8: Get involved in your business.
Some of these guys own multiple businesses, so they cannot be on premises all the time. I would amend this to "either get involved in your business or hire a good manager to do it for you."
I think with pimps it simply shouldn't be allowed to be obvious. Same with drugs. And being in California I refuse to count weed as a drug.
Hiring a good manager is one of the biggest challenges business owners face. The wrong manager can quietly skim a lot and damage the business significantly.
As for cracking the whip on dancers... if she's not in the mood to sell, is she going to give much of a dance? All of us slack on the job. Plus I assume half the time dancers are trying to wrangle regulars in when on their phones. I am fairly picky and know I'm not alone, so I really only care when a girl I'd be open to getting a dance from doesn't approach. But I feel like I can always stage tip or make eye contact enough to show her interest.
That said, management should try to hire good girls. I don't envy the challenge. We all know about SS. Every manager wants a club full of 9s and 10s who are reliable and friendly and motivated to sell. But in the real world you have to compromise somewhere. Clubs already have a lot of rules. A girl who doesn't hustle hurts herself more than the customer.
Tipping bouncers, in my opinion, encourages them to start expanding their authority sphere, until they are making themselves into pimps and extortionists. This must not be tolerated.
Of Sunnyvale's three bikini bars, 2 of them always hired perfectly nice and professional bouncers. One of them did not, and this was in the opinion of dancers and of Heidi their bartender. I also picked up on it myself.
With the other stuff Carlos writes about, I think sometimes you have to let things take care of themselves. Where I am, there have to a certain extent been dives, where things were happening which go against local ordinances. The cleaning up and upscaling of the look of the club and the parking lots and all happened when the club was going to change and stay strictly within the rules. I am willing to pretty much take it as it comes.
And as far as the dancers, if you have money to spend and if you treat them right, they will pay attention to you. It is hard for a club owner to really boss them around. If the club owner can keep them in high heels, then he is doing alright with them by me.
SJG
Decent points except #5 which can't happen because of legal restrictions. PLs just need to learn how to get dancers they want. Waiting for them to come to you doesn't work in a crowd.
Also cant identify with 6. In what probably amounts at least a couple of thousand strip club visits, I've only had a few very minor issues with bouncers. When they are a pain in the ass, it's usually because they are enforcing the rules of the club. The problem is not them but the rules.
Regarding #5, some dancers just strike me as having an "entitled" attitude. They know they're the draw, so they're entitled to do as they please, which, for some, means sitting on their asses all night. Call me old school, but I've always believed that the people who work earn their hours and shifts, and the people who don't work shouldn't get any (or as many) hours and shifts.
I've never had any problems with bouncers either. The closest was one night I wore a ratty shirt into an upscale club. The bouncer mentioned it, I took it off and carried it, and everything was cool. (And, yeah, I had a geek t-shirt on under.)
Some of those items sound like things we'd see on a porn version of Bar Rescue *g* Seriously though, I wonder if Jon Taffer (or someone else he knows) would be willing to go in and straighten these places up.
Actually, yes, dancers being able to come and go as they please, like to a motel for OTC, or to a motor home a guy like me brings in to the parking lot, would be great.
Likewise, covered and guarded 24 parking for the girls' cars would be great. This way they don't have to worry or be back anytime soon.
Also, 24 hour operation would help, make it more like the TJ Hong Kong Bar. A girl can cuddle up and sleep with you. She has to sleep sometime somewhere. She can do this without losing money, as she can always be back to making more money off of new people as the place runs around the clock. Why not have the best of everything. We are paying for it.
https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=3…
SJG
Owners seem obsessed in getting profits by any means and not by the right/best means such as providing an excellent customer experience that will have the PLs coming back with pockets full of cash.
One such way they seem to try and extract money from custies is by playing shorter songs were many $20 and $25 per dance clubs now a days are playing songs at just 3 minutes in length and sometimes shorter – again – the shit of finding every possible way to give a custy less for his $$$ instead of more.
SCs are customer intensive businesses – more SCs should have a customer feedback section on their websites – no doubt there are going to be disgruntled custies that would use that to air their grievances; but I think owners/managers could actually get back valuable and useful info via customer feedback.
[Babes in Atlanta is a black dive that actually has a decent website and has a customer feedback section if I remember correctly]
But I wonder if I should really think about just/only frequenting those establishments that actually make me feel they are putting effort into treating a customer right instead of treating custies as douchebags whose $$$ is to be taken – this may drive the fucktard clubs out of business if more and more custies did this?
But of course – it probably isn’t that simple - sometimes f’ed up clubs may offer things the good clubs may not (e.g. more mileage; more lose dancers; etc) - but I think I may start shortening my rotation and patronizing clubs where I feel more valued or at least get adequate treatment as a customer.