How to get More than a Lap Dance

For starters, this article is based on my personal experience over the past 10 years or so. At first, like most of you, I started going to clubs and easily spend 100-200 each time, with nothing to show for it but blue balls! So I got to thinking, how can I start seeing some of these girls outside of the club on a more intimate basis. There's no magic to it, I've learned that you have to just be yourself and be honest with what you are looking for.

The hard part I have found is the feeling out process and getting to know them part in the club. When you find the young lady whom you'd like to approach, it's always best to sit at the stage when they are dancing...don't bother with the $1's if you find the one you want to approach. I've always found the $20 bill to do the trick to get her to come sit with you when she's done - it's well worth the investment people!

Once she is done and she starts collecting, don't be afraid to ask her to come see you when she's done changing. You'll be surprised that 100% of them will say to go back to your table and wait for them. And they do every time. When she sits down, buy her a drink before she asks for one (we all know they have to hustle drinks). This is where you will get to know them. They will sure enough ask to give you a dance, tell them in a minute, you want to get to know them a little bit. Not all of them will stick around, those are the ones who are in it for a quick buck and you don't want them in the first place. The ones that do stick around you have a good chance with as long as you don't blow it. Play it cool, ask if she is a student, has kids, etc. I've found that single moms are your best bet.

You have to make them feel at ease and must have a little gift of gab. Ask for a dance. If nothing else, you will get a better dance than the average Joe. After the first dance, ask to go sit down again, they won't say no. By this time, let them know that you are interested in getting to know her outside of the club. I've found that this works better for daytime dancers more than night shift. The best times for this "date" is around 6-7 pm when they are usually done with their shift. Do not push them, if they aren't comfortable with the idea right away (and most won't be), tell them that's cool and that you are in no hurry since you are honestly waiting for the right one.

Ask when their regular shift is. You may have to invest a few bucks into her on subsequent visits. Be persistent, but don't push the idea. They will be coy and ask what you want in private, all will claim that they won't go all the way, but let them know that's what you want ultimately, they aren't dumb, they know that's what we want, so don't lie about it.

Take the time and invest into this, it will work. I have hooked up with 5 solid girls and all have been long term arrangements until the arrangement runs its course. Good luck!

28 comments

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  • Tiredtraveler
    12 years ago
    A $20 at the rail is a bit excessive (depending on the club of course). If you are going to tip that much you better be prepared to spend much more later and before you tip that much you best make sure she does not have someone waiting for her already. I have seen guys tip 5's and 10's and have the girl say thanks and go sit down with her regular.
  • skibum609
    12 years ago
    Seems to be expensive and time consuming just to hire a sex partner. I find that if you're uninterested in OTC and extras, but you are clean, friendly and buy dances and spend money you'll get asked for everything you can imagine from dancers and bartenders.
  • georgmicrodong
    12 years ago
    Or, you could invite her to your table and just fucking ask her. It will save a shitload of time and let you get to the good part, i.e. sex, that much sooner.
  • steve3003
    12 years ago
    5 "solid" dancers over 10 years? That's slightly better than a monkey typing the works of Shakespeare on a warm afternoon. :-)
  • shadowcat
    12 years ago
    I just love these experts with zero reviews.
  • Jinxi
    12 years ago
    I am a dancer, and I am constantly asked out by my customers. I'd love to fill you guys in on the real deal: it doesn't matter how much money you give her on the stage if she notices you and wants to date you she'll make a point to come over and see what you're all about. Although, I will say with 100% honesty that if a guy asks for my phone number but refuses a lap dance he will NEVER get my phone number. That's comparable to hitting on a waitress and leaving a 10% tip.
    To sum it all up: show her you think she's valuable by tipping generously, but don't try and buy her.
  • ca10spro
    12 years ago
    You guys are so quick to judge...kinda funny really. For starters, I've found $20 works best because as the last comment stated, many guys give $5 and $10....$20 works for me. Also, I never claimed I was an expert, this just works for me. Lastly, 5 women in the past 10 years (approx)....as I said, these 5 were long term....not one night stands...we became "friends" and saw each other often, until it ran it's course.
  • steve3003
    12 years ago
    @Jinxi: Thanks for the dancer's perspective.

    What I've found over the years is that, although women like to be pursued, if there is no STRONG signal of genuine reciprocity -- doesn't return calls or txt messages promptly, shows lackluster initiative, etc. -- then chances are it ain't gonna work out. What confused me when I was younger was the indoctrination that when a guy pursues hard enough (w/o crossing the line to stalking) the girl may come around. That ain't so. The same applies to dancers although the signals can get mixed up in SC settings.
  • snowtime
    12 years ago
    A lot of you guys must be going to some VERY busy clubs. I think the $20 stage tip is not only a total waste of money, but it will set you up for much more expensive dances than other customers will get. You may need to make a large stage tip in a busy Vegas club, but in an ordinary place any tip is usually enough to get most dancers to at least come by your table some time during your visit. Even in the very busy Follies in Atlanta, most all of the girls will come by and ask you for a dance. That is how they make their money. Yes, you may miss out of the best dancer there who may stay so busy that she doesn't make it to your table. However, I have been going to clubs for a very long time and find that if you stay a while, you will be approached by most of the girls sooner or later. And, even if you only tip a doller, if you tell the dancer you would like her to sit with you, the odds will go up considerably. $20 tip at stage is a complete waste, save it and give it as a tip if you get the type of dance you are hoping for.
    Also, I think most of the dancers are going to give you a good dance in the beginning to encourage you to get more dances. I think the dancer who gives a lousy dane to a non tipping customer will give an equally bad dance to the $20 stage tipper. I could be wrong on this because I have never tipped more than $2 at the stage, but I have had dances with girls who gave me every bit the same dance as the high tippers. My last comment applies only to clubs like Follies and Mons Venus, where the lap dances are open to public view.
  • steve3003
    12 years ago
    @snowtime: You got it right. This 10-year cs10pro fella is a newbie. IMO, you gotta have at least 2 decades under your belt (3 decades is better) to know what you're talking about.

    I do tip $20s at the stage but it's to tip the dancer cause she's been good to me prior, not because I expect her to be good to me later. It's mostly for my semi-regulars and regulars. Occasionally for dancers I don't know if they've put on a good show. They come to thank me but rarely do I ask for LDs from them. This newer generation that's attached to LDs (I get my fornication mostly OTC and some ITC) is not my kind of thing. I suspect many of the lurkers out there feel the same way.
  • sharkhunter
    12 years ago
    I'm not used to the idea of having to get dancers to come over to you. I thought they did that already but maybe it's because I'm usually a bit more active than some guys who look like a rock on a log. I believe I've had more than 5 dancers plus one female customer visiting a club proposition me for sex or give me strong hints they wanted to do that if I was interested. It's true most wanted money but not a whole lot and they offered when they first met me without me hardly saying anything. I believe I tipped one dancer a dollar on stage. The female customer was the most aggressive interrupting me as I was going towards a stage to tip a dancer and she was shouting at me, had to stop just to see what she wanted. I've only had one female customer hitting on me trying to take me home so far. That was strange because I didn't know her and she didn't even attempt to find out my name or talk to me first. It was like hey you, come home with me.
  • inno123
    12 years ago
    $20 at the tip rail is a waste of money. She's going to come around asking for dances anyway. Definitely start with a dance. Consider it an audition. No point in wasting her or your time if her moves aren't good or her boobs aren't your favorite type or her skin isn't firm/soft the way you like it. In addition she gets a chance to evaluate your handling. Are you too rough, too soft, or whatever?

    If at the end of the dance you think it is worth following up on THEN give her a twenty and ask if she can spend some time talking. If things continue to work well ask her when her hours are. Then say that you are usually free at (some time other than her usual work hours) and would love to spend (longer, quieter, more relaxed, etc.) time with her.
  • Scratch
    12 years ago
    You've got to be kidding me. This "How to get More than a Lap Dance" looks like it was written by stripper trying to sucker in suckers.

    The more money you spend on a stripper, the less likely you are to see her outside the club, period.
  • Papi_Chulo
    12 years ago
    I think the $20-dollar-tip drill can work. I would think it shows the dancer that you are really interested in her by not tipping her just like any other guy and that you are willing to spend $$$.

    I am not saying this will work 100% of the time; but unless she has her regular waiting for her, you may be the first one she comes see after she gets off stage to see “what you are all about” and if you really intend on spending a lot of $$$ on her.
  • jack0505
    12 years ago
    If you think $20 is too much, try using a $10 or a $5, or hell a $2.
  • jackslash
    12 years ago
    I also think a $20 tip is a waste. I tip $1 to a girl on stage to let her know I'm interested. If she's free, $1 will get her to come over, but if she's already with someone who's spending money on her the $20 won't help. Save $19 and spread it around to other girls you're interested in.
  • Alucard
    12 years ago
    I already KNOW how. Save your breath. LOL
  • lynn31
    12 years ago
    Totally agree with alucard!!
  • Estafador
    12 years ago
    20 bucks bro? Seriously man, that's OD. A stripper is only gonna say thanks and in today's world, its all about looks. If you're a ugly dude, or just a dude with poor dress attire (ragged or bleached clothes, slight smell, bad hairdo etc) and you seem super hungry and throw a 20 at a pole dancer, they're just gonna say thanks, end their pole dance and find someone with better clothes
  • Alucard
    12 years ago
    "and find someone with better clothes...its all about looks"

    Not likely IMHO. It is not all about looks. Do you Estafador, think you are heaven's gift to women in terms of looks? Something else speaks LOUDER than looks or clothes. LOL
  • linniek
    12 years ago
    Just be real. Either she will or she won't. Which if ur desperate it will show. Who wants a desperate person?
  • Revolution
    12 years ago
    A $2 bill can be better than a $20. People tend to remember the 2.
  • MIClubber
    12 years ago
    It's really all about what works with all women. Be honest, polite, respectful, have good hygiene (what a lot of guys mistake for good looks) and give intimacy (talk to her) while making yourself fun to be around.

    The best way to break the ice is to reveal something about yourself that you find funny. Chances are she will, too. Once you have her laughing you have her relaxed. Your chances go up exponentially as you are no longer just a stiff(y).
  • sharkhunter
    12 years ago
    If a dancer really likes you, you may have a hard time trying to get her to leave you alone. If you like her too, you probably will not need to spend much money. I remember one dancer whom I did not suspect was interested in dating me at first, was spending an hour or two or more in the club just sitting and talking with me. She even insisted on paying for her own drinks while she was with me. I probably would have asked her out but at the time I had earlier promised myself to never go out with another dancer. That was a stupid promise because I probably would have enjoyed going out with the one dancer. I wanted to avoid the drama that often seems to happen at some point if you have been routinely seeing a dancer away from the clubs. I stayed true to my promise until one dancer really took advantage of me but I didn't feel like stopping her.

    Before I knew it, drama blew up in my face. She was acting really really angry at me one night for no good reason. She was acting like I was a cheating boyfriend and I wasn't cheating nor did I think of myself as being her boyfriend.
  • Labridge
    12 years ago
    Just joined the club and been laughing at this guy who tips 20 to get the girls attention. What works for me...be cool as if you don't care if they talk to you or not. Eventually some hottie will notice you. Buy her a drink and be funny. If you like her get a couple dances max. You get too many dances and shell look at you as a customer. Act as if lap dances is not your thing and before you know you'll have her number.I'm in my mid 40s and doing the club scene for years. I can still pull a 22 yrs old number anytime.
  • crazyjoe
    12 years ago
    just fart on them. They love that
  • outside4
    12 years ago
    If people want "more", what is it you actually are looking for? "More" can be had many ways, and not without too much difficulty depending also on exactly where, and who you meet up with. People are individuals and will hook up as they like. However a relationship? That's a little strange with a SC setting to me.
  • cheesburgr
    12 years ago
    Wow, 5 girls in 10 years? That's even better than normal dating! And with that kind of money, I don't know why everyone doesn't do this!

    I agree with Scratch. Spending money means you are irrevocably a customer. There is nothing wrong with that.
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