• articles >
• Harderlap

A couple of weeks ago the city council proposed a restrictive ordinance regulating Strip clubs. I have been meaning to post a summary of strip clubs in Albuquerque for a while, and I guess i better do it before they change it all. The new ordinance would ban VIP rooms at the strip clubs, prohibit touching from the customer or the employee, and would require club licensing. Lawyers for the clubs and the ACLU are fighting this ordinance.

As it stands now, Albuquerque is a good city for clubs, but not a great one. You can get high mileage dances from the right dancer in most clubs, but extras are rare, if they exist at all. Fortunately, prices are modest, so it doesn't cost a lot to have a good time. For many years, dancers were required to cover their nipples, which for most meant using some sort of transparent latex. Those days are gone fortunately.

Albuquerque has both topless and nude clubs. The nude clubs do not serve alcohol, and in my experience are not worth it. There is no smoking in Albuquerque restaurants or bars, so the clubs here have clean air.

Here are my favorites:

1. TD's North - I think that this is the nicest club in Albuquerque. It is clean, the dancers are of high quality and there are a wide variety to chose from, everything from California silicone blondes to petite Asians. There is no cover during the day, at night it runs $8 I think. Prepare to be wander and have your ID scanned when you enter. A beer is $6, but if you buy it from the hostess it is only $5.75. Tipping is at the stage. Depending on how many customers and dancers there are, one or two stages are open. Floor dances are $10 and are usually pretty good. There are lots of nooks and crannies with benches along the wall for dances. If you don't get what you are expecting move on to another dancer. If the dances are good on the floor, it usually is much better in the VIP room, which costs $25 per dance. On peak hours it costs $20 to enter the VIP room, but at slow times and always during the day, there is no charge for the VIP room. I recommend Diana, May Lee, Iris-san, and Lee for dances. Dancers come over from Phoenix all the time to dance here and you can get great dances from Elena, and Lisa who are from Phoenix. Caterra gives a great dance, but will upset you, so watch out. Catalina gives a great dance on the floor, but it doesn't improve enough in the VIP room to be worth it. TD's is open for lunch and they have specials that are good value. If you are in Albuquerque and don't know where to go to enjoy yourself, go to TD's North.

2. TD"s Eubank is the sister club to TD's North and the policies are similar. I find it a more sterile experience though and all the seats on the floor are on casters, so it is not too conducive to dancing. I don't go here much, but there are lots of regulars who like it better than TD's North. If you don't like TD's North, try TD's Eubank.

3. Knockouts is located downtown, so if you are staying in one of the downtown hotels, it is worth your while to check it out. The club is a notch below the TD's clubs, but still worth visiting. There is no cover during the day. The dancers are a notch below what you will find at TD's as well, but there are always a few worth getting a dance from. Dances are a good bargain, $5 on the floor and $10 in the VIP room. There is a bubble room at $20 a dance, but I have never seen it used. Dances on the floor are good and usually get better in the VIP area. The VIP area is a bit well lit for my taste, but you can still have a good time with the right dancer there. Cashmere, Chloe, Meagan, and Bridgette all give good dances on the floor and great dances in the VIP area. Any of them are worth the trip to the VIP room. Knockouts is a step below the TD's clubs, but worth trying out if you are downtown.

The Nude Clubs are not worth going to in my opinion. Fantasy World, in the back of an adult book store, is pretty sterile and the so-so dancers pretty much just go through the motions. The bouncers patrol the VIP areas at least once a song. The Palm is new in town, but when I went there I was the only patron and there were only 3 girls dancing, none of which was great. They were offering 2 for 1 danes, which I got, but they were no better than what you can get at TD's. I will check the Palm again after they have been open for awhile, but I don't holdout much hope for it.

50 miles or so to the east is Club 203, at the 203 exit to I-40. It is pretty bare bones, appealing to truckers mostly. It is not worth the trouble though. Same with Cheeks in Santa Fe. Not worth the bother unless you happen to be in Santa Fe with nothing else to do.

Have fun while you can! Updates as to ordinance progress as they occur. Nothing yet. Lets hope that freedom of expression wins out.