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whyutahwhy

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So, for some inexplicable reason you find yourself in Utah and despite everything you already know about the state, you still want to visit a strip club. If you can&#39;t be talked into skiing, snowboarding or a stroll through the Mormon visitors center, the following will hopefully provide you with the information you need to decide where to go and what kind of return on your investment you can expect if you insist on going to the club.<br />
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First off - think about what you like most about strip clubs - naked women, cheap lap dances, extras, drinking, full contact lap dances.<br />
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Now, cross extras off of the list and pick one of the remaining options. In Utah you basically get to pick one of things that you love about the strip club experience and that will essentially determine your choice of which of Utah&#39;s 5 main clubs to go to.<br />
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Rule #1 - If there is alcohol at the club, there will be no nudity (pasties only).<br />
Rule #2 - If there is alcohol at the club, there will be no lap dances.<br />
Rule #3 - If there are lap dances, there will be no alcohol and no nudity(dancers are allowed to be topless with pasties on stage while keeping a 3 foot distance from the customers, but all lap dances in Utah require the dancer to be covered with a top and bottom.)<br />
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Nudity - The only place you will see a pastie-free nipple or a vagina in the state is at Southern Xposure&#39;s downtown location. A $25 dollar cover gets you in, but no alcohol and no lap dances. When naked, dancers are required to stay at least 3 feet away from customers. Only strip club in the state that is open after 2am closing at 5am.<br />
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Drinking - If you require alcohol as part of your night out, Trails or Southern Xpsoure&#39;s &quot;show club&quot; location both offer a similar experience. Multiple stages, limited interaction with the dancers and pasties, but you can drink &#39;til your heart&#39;s content (or until 1:00am last call).<br />
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Cheap Lap Dances - Southern Xposure recently opened it&#39;s &quot;showgirl&quot; location. The club is one room, one stage. $20 gets you into the VIP section of the room with 2 passes for &quot;free&quot; lap dances. Once you&#39;ve used up your free passes, $10 a dance is the going rate. Dances are done out in the open with contact from the customer being strictly prohibited. While YMMV applies, contact from the dancer tends to be rather limited and the bouncer frequently is monitoring and occasionally warning the dancers for excessive/inappropriate contact. A dancer here told me she was instructed to &quot;graze not grind&quot;.<br />
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Full Contact Lap Dances - If you are seeking a great lap dance and can forgo the alcohol and nudity, then American Bush should be your destination. Cover is 6 dollars. 2 stages, but the second is rarely in use. After each dancer finishes her set on stage, she makes the rounds visiting each customer who is expected to tip a dollar. Sit at the stage and get a mini lap dance during which you will be prompted to tip a dollar multiple times. $20 lap dances get you into a semi private part of the club (heavy emphasis on the semi) where no contact from the customer is allowed, but you will get as good a lap dance as you will find in other parts of the country (minus any extras, minus any nudity, and minus any alcohol). Private shows are available starting at $150 for a half hour ($50 to the club paid at the front desk and a $100 tip to the dancer). Private shows get you your own room with a couch and permission to touch the dancer anywhere her outfit does not cover.<br />
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There are a handful of other establishments in the state that are technically classified as strip clubs, but are more neighborhood bars that happen to have a dancer occasionally on the stage.<br />
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Dancer quality/variety is fairly similar at each of the clubs described above with limited choices during non-peak hours. The Clubs with no alcohol are 18 and over and dancers tend to skew a little younger here than the clubs that serve alcohol. At the 2 clubs that offer lap dances, you will very rarely be approached with the &quot;wanna dance?&quot; line. Dancers in these clubs seem to have a very casual soft sell approach compared to what I have experienced outside of the state.<br />
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While individual experiences will vary, the above should provide a rough guide for what to expect and where to go depending on your preferences should you decide to venture out into the limited Utah SC scene.<br />
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Once again, I highly recommend the skiing and snowboarding.<br />
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