More Rules from 5 Pros and one Neophyte
Monday, July 4, 2011 12:00 AM
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Let's start by my admitting that I am the Neophyte and that any wisdom laid down here is the product of the pros who have spent much time and money in strip clubs. And, yes, there are some of you out there who are questioning the intelligence of people who spend lots of time and money in such places. I learned that you should take good advice where you find it and that if you listen carefully you hear profound stuff in the least likely of places.<br />
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I was reminded of these rules as I was reading "Rules for Lending Money to a Stripper". Great Stuff and Kudos to "wasted" for a great article<br />
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With all that out of the way:<br />
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Rule<br />
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1) Never lend money to a stripper<br />
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2) Always follow rule #1<br />
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3) If you want to stop somewhere to have more than one or two drinks, go to a regular bar. If you want to see and talk to pretty women, go to a strip club. Don't try to do both at the stripclub - you will not enjoy it and may run into some trouble.<br />
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4) Always tip the bartender 20% minimum. If you like the place and will be back, slip the DJ a five and find the regular manager for the shift you will be using and give him/her a compliment on the place or the operation.<br />
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5) The dancers are there to make money and not there because they are looking for a big manly handsome and attractive guy like you. Seriously, all of us male-types would like to be irresistable to women but we're (usually) not. And if you are Casanova,I apologize. That said, don't get carried away with your expectations (see rule 6)<br />
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6) If nothing else remember that God gave Man 2 heads but only enough blood to run one at a time. As your thinking center shuts down and "Big Ed" starts to take over remember there are limits to the club rules, limits on what the dancer will provide, limits to the amount of cash you can sink into this (and God Help You if you even think about using the ATM that is there. First, you'll blow the rent money and second, have you checked the fees on those things??? We used to refer to that as vigorish back East.) Best to define your limits before you go into the club like • limit of two drinks • limit of "x" number of dollars that you can reasonably spend and leave the ATM card and surplus cash at home.<br />
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7) Finally always treat the dancers like a couteous gentleman should. Buy them a (way overpriced) drink if they want one, talk to them for a while (not too long), hold their chair for them. Remember they are there to make money. If you try to talk for hours, you are reducing the amount of money they will have at the end of the month. If you came unprepared (no $$$$) let them know that and make it easier for them to switch off and go find someone who can pay. Ask them what shift they work and tell them you'll come back ready to go next time with both pockets bulging (then add that you carry your money in your right pocket). And if you overheard that they like something and it isn't expensive, get it and bring it to the club the next time. I did that a few years back and the return on investment was absolutely amazing. Following rule # 7 will clearly set you apart from the bozos who are telling fart jokes while squeezing anything that gets within 3 feet of them. There is nothing that is more of a turnoff for women than to be treated like a cantelope.<br />
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These rules have helped me enjoy every trip I make to the clubs and I hope they will be useful to you.</p>
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