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• OneAngryDwarf

Pittsburgh, PA, has long been a very overlooked and under-appreciated city.&nbsp; Famously described as &quot;hell with the lid off&quot; by an <i>Atlantic Monthly</i> editor during the heyday of the steel industry, the city has since cleaned up its act and become a clean, welcoming city with world-class healthcare, museums, and architecture.&nbsp; But we're not exactly here for any of that, are we?<br />
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Anyway, the nature of Pittsburgh is something that I feel extends to its strip clubs as well.&nbsp; For a city of its size, Pittsburgh does have quite a few, and quite a variety of different experiences as well, depending on what you're looking for.&nbsp; This article will attempt to describe, in a nutshell, the pros and cons of many of the different area clubs so a potential visitor can find the best SC experience for them.<br />
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I've decided to go ahead and lump a few West Virginia panhandle clubs into the review as well.&nbsp; While technically a different area (Wheeling &amp; Weirton) they are a short enough distance away (about 30-40 minutes driving) that I feel they are worth mentioning.<br />
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The clubs are presented in order of geography, starting in the city proper and moving out; it should not be taken as a ranking of quality (with the exception of the last two clubs on the list--I'd recommend staying away from them).&nbsp; So here we go!<br />
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1. CHEERLEADERS (Pittsburgh, Strip District)--Ironically, the only strip club actually located in the Strip District (which, despite its name, is actually named for being a &quot;strip&quot; of land along the Allegheny River).&nbsp; Without a doubt the nicest--and most expensive--club in the area.&nbsp; An excellent range of dancers here, something for just about everyone, all in the 7-10 range, and fairly friendly and approachable without being uncomfortably high-pressure.&nbsp; Lapdances are $25 and done on comfortable couches in walled-off &quot;nooks&quot;, but if it's not busy you'll have some more privacy.&nbsp; There are also more private VIP rooms for $110 (15 min.) or $220 (30 min.)--slightly larger couch with a curtain, basically.&nbsp; All girls have different standards as far as mileage goes, so it takes a bit of trial and error--and unfortunately, at $25/song, that trial and error can get pricey fast.&nbsp; Two weekly specials to watch for are &quot;Twofer&quot; Tuesdays ($2 cover charge, 2-for-1 lapdances--and unlike other clubs, the songs are still the same length as on regular nights) and 80s Wednesdays (4-8PM, all VIP rooms are half price).&nbsp; Also, no cover if you arrive before 7PM, otherwise it's $10.<br />
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2. BLUSH (Pittsburgh, Downtown)--Cheerleaders' main competition is located just a few miles south in the city's main business district.&nbsp; It's a rather tiny club, and can get crowded, especially after a Pirates or Penguins game.&nbsp; Dancers are about the same level as Cheerleaders, maybe just a slight second--but still a second.&nbsp; Dances are, again, $25 and done in rather cramped booths slightly larger than a phone booth, and the girls are watched carefully here.&nbsp; The VIP room setup is somewhat unusual, you have to book it through the front desk clerk of the hotel that's connected, then take a very old elevator (complete with hand crank!) up to the room.&nbsp; I can't recall the exact price, but I believe it is somewhere in the $200-300 range, and most girls expect a rather large tip as well--the bigger the tip, the more service you will receive.&nbsp; Too rich for me.<br />
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3. SILKY'S (McKees Rocks)--Probably the best of the &quot;neighborhood&quot;-style SCs in the area, this club has a very rundown, working-class feel--but the $10 cover includes free beer on tap all night, which is a terrific bargain.&nbsp; Dancers are yet another notch down from Cheerleaders, but still attractive and pleasant to talk to with very few exceptions.&nbsp; Lapdances are $20 and done on couches with a bouncer in the room, so no extras, but most girls are still pretty liberal with two-way contact and he doesn't seem to mind.<br />
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4. CLUB EROTICA (McKees Rocks)--Located just a 1/2-mile down the road from Silky's, this club used to be the &quot;big dog&quot; in town, but Cheerleaders and Blush have cut into their business (and reputation) somewhat.&nbsp; I've only visited once, on a Monday night, but I was not impressed.&nbsp; Only 3-4 dancers in the 4-6 range, one of whom was particularly pushy about VIP rooms.&nbsp; Lapdances are unappealing--$25, done in a big room with everyone else watching, and the bouncer is very adamant about &quot;no touching.&quot;&nbsp; In fact, the entire non-dancer staff had a very menacing and customer-unfriendly feel to them, not the best environment for enjoying oneself.&nbsp; YMMV on a busier night though.<br />
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5. PRETTY KITTY (Munhall/Homestead)--This relatively new club is another small, neighborhood place and caters mainly to African-American customers, though by no means exclusively (I'm white as a sheet and I've never gotten any dirty looks when I go in).&nbsp; If you like beautiful black women, this club is for you.&nbsp; The $25 dances include lots of grinding and contact, well worth the money, but there may not be a great selection of dancers on a weeknight--best bet is to go on Friday or Saturday.<br />
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6. BEEMER'S (McKeesport)--Another neighborhood club not too far from Pretty Kitty (why is it that SCs in Pittsburgh always seem to be paired up like this?), and similar in feel except for the customer base which is more white working-class.&nbsp; There are a handful of girls that give great lapdances here, others not so much.&nbsp; If you find one of the former, the $150 VIP room for 1/2-hour is relatively reasonably priced.<br />
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7. RUMORZ (Weirton, WV)--A neighborhood club desperately trying to be something more in an economically-depressed area.&nbsp; Dancers here aren't the greatest-looking in the world, but most are at least friendly and once in a while you'll find some gems.&nbsp; The frustrating thing about many WV clubs is that, while they are fully nude onstage like Pittsburgh, all lapdances are done clothed--you'll have to shell out for the VIP if you want nudity.&nbsp; And maybe a litte more--most girls here are pretty upfront about what they do in the VIP, so have at it.<br />
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8. FANTASY'S (Chester, WV, about 10 miles north of Weirton)--By far the better of the two side-by-side SCs here (see below), although my most recent visit revealed that it was still rather lifeless and devoid of business.&nbsp; Used to be notorious for high-mileage and extras, but rumor is that a new owner has put a stop to that.&nbsp; Will have to return at a later date to review again.<br />
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9. GODFATHER'S (Wheeling, WV)--The best part about this place is the sign out front, which reads &quot;Godfather's Gentlemen's club, Coffee Shop and Steakhouse.&quot;&nbsp; Only in West Virginia.&nbsp; Actually, the club itself isn't all that bad, but there's really nothing to distinguish it from other places in the area.&nbsp; Unlike its main competition, however (see below), regular lapdances are done nude, so thank you Godfather's for bucking the trend.<br />
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10. JILL'S (outside Wheeling, WV)--A ramshackle club located just past the PA state line on I-70, behind a truck stop.&nbsp; You can tell it used to be something in its heyday, but seems to be quickly losing ground.&nbsp; Dancers are average-looking and be prepared for a lot of hustle, especially to skip the $20 dances (again, fully clothed) and go straight to the VIP.&nbsp; Also, I didn't think it was possible, but the bartenders/bouncers are somehow even more unfriendly than Erotica.<br />
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11. TIFFANI'S DOLLS (Chester, WV, next door to Fantasy's)--Oh, how they try.&nbsp; Someone had the right idea to try and build a classy-looking joint in WV, but somewhere along the line they forgot that the dancers are the most important thing, and it shows.&nbsp; This is hustle city and you get it from all corners, from the moment you walk in to the waitresses to the dancers, who all too often over-promise and under-deliver.&nbsp; Read <a href="http://www.tuscl.net/d.php?DID=354">my review</a> from last year to detail how I was ripped off here, haven't been back since.<br />
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12. HURRICANE CLUB (Weirton, WV)--Imagine Henry the 8th in Detroit.&nbsp; Now cut it down to about 15% of the size, then eliminate 95% of the dancers and all of the customers, and you've got the Hurricane.&nbsp; How it even stays in business is beyond me, given that I was the only customer in there...on a Saturday night.&nbsp; What few girls there are will offer pretty much whatever you want, but given the sorry state of this place, it's not a risk I'm willing to take.<br />
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So there you have it.&nbsp; Bottom line: While not exactly a &quot;destination city&quot; for such, Pittsburgh does have some excellent SCs for those visiting for other reasons.&nbsp; I'd recommend the big clubs (Cheerleaders/Blush) for entertaining friends or business associates, but for pure enjoyment--and for a fraction of the cost--many of the local joints are well worth it<br type="_moz" />