The Porthole doesn't have it's port holes anymore.

I've been here quite few times, but for the purpose of this review I'll focus on a recent visit where I arrived Tuesday afternoon around 5, after having visited Booby Trap down the street and finding nothing of interest. It's easy to find, in a strip mall near I95. Parking was easy on this visit, but sometimes it can be a bit of a hassle to find a spot as while the lot is large it's a bit cramped and people tend to double park or otherwise do selfish, inconsiderate shit. Before 7pm, no charge to park, no valet available much less required, no cover, no ID scanning. After 7pm, they charge to park in the closer spots and have a $10/20 cover depending on the day of the week.

Inside, the place is small. A bar, a couple of high top tables, some couches used as sections on busier nights. One runway style stage with two poles. It's not particularly clean, but it's not remarkably dirty either. Like most clubs in the area, daytime clientele is mixed, a healthy mix of middle aged or retired guys in there. At night, the crowd gets younger. The dancers and the crowd is often predominantly black, especially but it remains mixed. They don't really have a waitress during the day shift, so if you want a drink you gotta either sit at the bar or belly up to it to get one. Many of the bartenders have been there forever, most are pretty meh but reasonably effective. Domestics are around 5 bucks, imports another buck or two, and at night they're a buck or two higher. Cocktails hover around 15, but vary by brand and go up a few bucks at night. They used to upcharge for dancer drinks, but I haven't noticed that recently.

The dancers on average are not particularly hot, I'd say maybe 6's. But there is a very wide variation. Skinny, fat, young, old, natural, enhanced, and everything in between. They're mostly black girls with maybe 30-40% latinas and every now and again a white chick will pop up. On this particular visit, there were three girls I found attractive. One of which, way beyond attractive and downright fucking hot as hell. I'd say I can't believe I saw her here, but it's not the first time I've run into a hottie here. But there was also a mid sixties chick who has clearly been rode hard and put up wet, a 300lb plus chick who I think would be better suited as a right tackle for the Dolphins. One with national geographic tits, one with Mattel tits, and ... well, you get the idea. There's a lot of variety. The clubs is topless only, unlike most of the other nearby clubs which are full nude. On stage, many girls don't bother taking off their tops. They do 2-3 songs up there, one girl at a time for the most part, with the occasional girl being late and skipping song or just deciding she's done and getting down early.