The SCUTTLEBUTT is the neon palace...

The SCUTTLEBUTT is the neon palace on Eastbound side of I-10 in Slidell, LA. It's only maybe 30 minutes or so from New Orleans, so it's definitely not a number one destination if you're headed to the Crescent City. It's small, dingy, smoky as all hell, seriously, my lungs would hurt for 2 days after spending a couple hours there on a Sunday evening. I've been here probably 6 times since in the last 2 years, but it was always on a Sunday, so I can't tell you about the talent on Friday or Saturday nights.<br>

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This is an 18+ club. There's a pool table by the front entrance, near the front door and the cigarette machine. The ATM charges you $9.00, plus what ever your bank charges you for using an out of network ATM, so get out cash ahead of time. Luckily it sits on the front lot of a super Walmart. One night I bought a soda and a pack of gum and got $100 dollars cash back to avoid the fees. Trust me, you're not going to need too much money here: there's no VIP room, only a $5 cover in the evening and on Sunday's lap dances are two for 1, so you get the best bang for your buck if you can find a girl you like. <br>

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The club: It's small. When you walk in there's an elevated corner on the left that has a pool table separated by a railing from the main floor. To the immediate right is where the couch wall starts. There's a few sections of half-circle couches with mirrors on the wall where you get your lap dances, in front of every one in the club. On slow nights, it's enough to give a slight illusion of privacy. If there happens to be a crowd and it's a bit packed, then the 3 feet to the next table is not enough privacy for your dances, at least for me it's not. There's probably a dozen or so tables in front of the main stage and there's maybe 5 seats at the bar. There is stage side seating that runs around the entire length of the stage. The stage has this strange unfinished "No Mans Land" that is about a foot and half of dead space between the end of the bar and where the stage begins. It still doesn't deter the dancers from using it to get closer to you if you are actually tipping. There are two 40-inch flat screens in the bar if you want to watch whatever game happens to be on, and if there's not one, they just run a logo screen loop for the club, no reason to have Seinfeld playing during a topless set.<br>