Well, I'm pretty sure that THIS...

Well, I'm pretty sure that THIS was a once in a lifetime experience...

So there I was. Home for the holidays. Centerfold's on a Friday night with some old buddies. Grabbed some drinks on the topless side; eventually bounced on over to the nude side because the topless side was just rigoddamndiculous.

Now, before I go any further, I want to add one caveat to this story: every time you go over to the nude side, there's a one drink minimum. That drink is gonna run you six bucks, even if you just get a damn bottle of water. To that, I say, dafuq, Centerfold's?!

But I digress. So we've been there for an hour or so, watching the dancers on the stage. Eventually, the dancers started approaching us for table dances and picking us off one-by-one. I was the next to last of my buddies to fall - a dancer whose name I cannot for the life of me remember asked me if I wanted a dance. I said, sure, why not, so she dragged me off to what may be the most secluded corner of the room.

Now, bear in mind, there's no VIP on the nude side. All the couches, while behind a bar, are visible to the rest of the room - but this particular couch, just based on where it's located and how the room is built, was somewhat obstructed from view. DJ booth couldn't see it, and not once while I was there did I see a bouncer rotate through.