article comment
13 years ago
I've always thought the best way to think about this kind of thing is the same way you do about your all time favorite cute waitress/bartender. You can be "real" work friends, you can honestly care for someone (and in some ways, they care for you) and have a relationship that on some levels is legitimately personal -- but the bottom line is that you would not have met, nor have developed either the ITC or OTC relationship, if there wasn't an element of commerce to it.
The only partial exception I can see is if it includes OTC meetings that do not involve any of "that kind" of activity, and in which there is no payment for time. In short, you're simply meeting for, say, dinner, with no ties.
Yet even then, 1) there's often an unspoken quid-pro-quo that exists in which future club visits (and $$$) are expected, and 2) in most cases, they usually feel that there's something a little creepy about someone who goes to a club often enough to become a regular (my only long-time regular made the mistake of mentioning something about being tired "of guys who go to clubs" -- she realized what she said and blushed and apologized, but it wasn't a surprise.
There's not going to be a "love connection" here (in the very few cases where that happens, it happens VERY quickly). Being the regular can be a fun experience, and as socrates17 said, can be a relationship that is honestly enjoyable -- but the best (and really only) way you can come out of it in a good way is if both parties know going in what it is, and what it isn't.
1) OTC meeting that does not include the type of