dancers pretending

It would be nice if I could see this strategy ahead of time. Most of my all time least favorite dancers are like this only they took it to extremes.

I think if one goes into a SC with even the faintest idea of finding a relationship that involves more than giving away your money, you are a fool. And you know what they say about a fool and their money!

Hi giveitayank,

I don't know about upscale strippers i.e. those charging $10 and $20 for a dance, but at the true dives girlfriends are available. The biggest concern that I'd have is your socioeconomic status. Normally middle class and upper class don't have a clue as far as more disadvantaged groups and it is difficult for me to see it working.

Also, I don't get too bent out of shape about get ripped off by a dancer because it is money I can afford to lose. Besides I LOVE the good con. It the dancer has me wanting a relationship, then that is exactly the type of dancer that I want.

Finally, "normal" girls i.e. non-strippers play games and just see dollars as well. Are you going to cross normal girls off your potential relationship list?

PS There are strippers who would have LOVED a real relationship with a customer, but what happens is after getting burned once suddenly they're all negative. They "learned" or got "experience" just like the love lorn customer "learned" or got "experience." This so called "learning" or "experience" is one reason that I strongly prefer young women and young dancers. I really don't appreciate "learning" where I get judged based on the wrongs some other customer or man did.

I think it's instinctive for ALL women, strippers or not, to attention-whore. The more men they can get CHASING AROUND AFTER THEM, the better a person they think they are. I see how this might have some biological roots, but even on the most cursory inspection it's pretty clearly problematic for at least two reasons.

One is, as mentioned in this thread, the inherent dishonesty that is consistently used to bring about these ends, by most women. (Sure, it's POSSIBLE that a woman be honest about it, to the men or to herself, but that's not generally what happens.)

Another is, the dependency on other people's approval that it portrays, the utter lack of long-term goals or ability to self-actualize. When the mind gets taken over by interest in the consistent micro-management of the approval of others problems ensue.

It's also possible that this syndrome leads to a third major problem, that the notion of "true connection" gets confused in the mind of the practicioner with "easy approval." Women who are visually desirable to men and who use that as their only root of contact with other people tend to fail at distinguishing "real" connections from fake ones, ones concocted simply by men who want to get laid. What a surprise, they think that men aren't capable of connecting with thm ...

Men aren't without our quirks, too. But we're generally much more honest. I want to fuck hot-looking women. Period. I admit that, publicly, all the time. This doesn't get me very far with the women, but at least I'm not a hypocrite like most hot women are.

Metaphorically speaking, I try not to have this quote attributed to a famous comedian apply to me: "I lost a couple of bucks in Vegas, and I've spent $1 million trying to get it back".

In my exerience if I am going to hit it off with a dancer its a "love" at first sight kind of thing. If I or she needs more time its not going to happen.

Book Guy, that's an excellent post.

To have even the slightest chance, never get a "dance" from a girl. Doe't even let her see you get one from another girl. Just be cool and gradually talk to her. Remember: what would you think of a guy who has to go to a business for coitus interruptus?

I would disagree with don't get a dance from a girl unless you have another reason for being there. I would also disagree that it has to be love at first sight (for the dancer) unless you're at a club with loud music. One of the very few firm "rules" that seems to repeat near a 100% is that if the dancer is interested she will want to stop charging you.

Yep, more than a few dancers have a problem with a guy paying for it usually with a brain dead assumption that if you have to pay then you can't get it for free with the added assumption that looks are irrelevant. Amazing how dancers and other people cling to the looks are irrelevant mindset.

Of course dancers pretend to be interested in us, even if they are not. However, I've had some relationships with dancers who were sincere. It's not something you can easily stereotype. You should assume she's pretending at first, but if you're open to the prospect, she may be genuine. Discernment is required, along with control over your willingness to spend money...

I think if we look at ourselves in an honest way, many of us would not be ones that any dancer would be interested in, other then our money. Case in point...

What would a sometimes very lovely young woman want with a old retired guy 3+ times her age that is not close to being in shape? Could it happen, of course.

It happened to me. The interest was not in money, but rather things we did have in common, and I believe, my life experience. She really had no one in her life that she could turn to for advice, comfort, conversation, or someone just to listen.

Isn't it a dancer's job to "pretend" to be interested? Can there be give-and-take in a "relationship" with a dancer? Sure, they're people. But is that what you really want to go to a strip club for?

Hi tucker40 -

You are right, it is the dancer's job to pretend to be personally interested (at some level) in their customers. I contend that it is human nature in BOTH SEXES to pretend to be more interested than you really are. Book Guy brags about "not being a hypocrite" but the fact is, we are all hypocrits at some level. It is human nature, and I contend that the only people who have NO hypocrisy (ie pretense) are preschoolers and the mentally retarded.

Strippers and customers occasionally find true love with each other. Just a rough order of magnitude on that phenomonen is probably less than 1 in 10,000. And among those relationships where the customer is ACTUALLY in love with the stripper, and THINKS the stripper is in love with him, I would guess that in at least 99 cases out of 100, the stripper is pretending.

Book Guy if you read this, and are up to it, please offer some differentiation between pretense and hypocrisy. To me they are the same thing, the latter term being pejorative.

Pretense v. Hypocrisy. Interesting distinction. It seems, imo, that people usually misuse the term hypocrisy. For example, a person may say that prostitution is an evil act that should be prosecuted vigorously. At the same time he may be a customer of numerous prostitutes. A good portion, perhaps a majority, would claim that he's a hypocrite. Not so, imo (on the surface it sure seems like it, however). A person can commit crimes and at the same time wish to see those crimes prosecuted vigorously. It is like some drug addicts that I've met who wish the government was more brutal in going after drug law violators---users and dealers. They use drugs, but yet strongly believe the government should prosecute them and other users and dealers. Their position is rather straightforward.

Hypocrisy is professing beliefs that one does not hold. Pretense is much broader including make believe. True the terms could be used as synonyms, but they don't, imo, have the same meaning. Hypocrisy is almost always negative. Pretense can be more of a fun show (where no one is harmed) or it can be very negative i.e. taking someone to the cleaners using false pretenses---false is almost needed . . .

oops out of time

Gambling dancer would LOVE for the government to ban all gambling here in the State of Florida if there was some way to do it humanely. Humanely meaning she doesn't want to see more people sent to prison. She is also concerned that people who like to gamble and can gamble responsibly would be deprived of their fun to protect her and others who are addicted or who could become addicted. But, she asks if the government is going to ban drugs, then why not gambling? She needs protection from gambling---the drugs aren't too exciting or interesting. A good chocolate bar would be more stimulating to her than alcohol or cocaine.

So, if she advocated a ban on gambling, but still gambled because she is addicted some people would think she's being a hypocrite. I don't think succumbing to temptation makes one a hypocrite. And, I don't consider her to be a hypocrite, but she is chock full of all manner of false pretenses (false may seem redundant, but I don't think that is necessarily the case). Some of the pretense are basically fun and or harmless; others are injurious.

Anyway, very interesting as to whether there is a real distinction between hypocrisy and pretense. :)