Playoff time again. I'm putting forth my "tongue-in-cheek" playoff predictions based solely on my experienced/percceived relative strength of respective city stripclubs vs one another. Please feel free to comment, based on your experience with the city's clubs.
ROUND ONE WILDCARDS
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Philadelphia vs Minnesota- No contest here. Minnie & St. Paul of a combined total of 13 clubs. Philly has 31 clubs, plus a multitude of NJ & PA suburban clubs, including some that are perrenial T40. // EAGLES BY 13
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Baltimore vs Miami- OK, Baltimore has 34 clubs and "The Block". Miami has 19 clubs, but a whole slew more in outlying areas: FLL, etc, plus enough long distance help from Palm Beach folks who don't think it's uncool to be a Dolphins fan. What's more, vast majority of clubs are nude with alcohol, a very potent combination. Ditto for mileage reports. Tootsies is a consistent T3-T5 club.// DOLPHINS BY 10.
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Atlanta vs Arizona- These cities are so closely matched: Atlanta has 37 clubs, several with a good rep for eye candy factor, not so good mileage factor. Phoenix has 31 clubs(plus several in suburbs Tempe, Chandler, Scottsdale), several with attractive babes, but not that far up there on mileage charts. Atlanta has some pricey VIP options where some supposedly good things have happened. Phoenix doesn't have as much, if any, pricey VIP options, but the base version LD yields more than ATL does. This portends "more time of possesion" by Phoenix. Gotta go with......// CARDINALS BY 2.
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Indianapolis vs San Diego- Indy has 21 clubs, San Diego 16. Indy clubs are topless/alcohol, with NO nude clubs available. San Diego is a mix- has more nude/juice bar options. However, Indy has overwhelming edge in contact wars- "airshows" don't cut it in the stripclub game. Nor can "long distance help" from TJ & Adelitas be heavily counted on- not when fan base would rather watch bullfights.// COLTS BY 7
When the story breaks, remember that you read it here first, and that I told you.
For those of you who closely follow the league, do you remember that three NFL owners were required to drop their interest in gambling enterprises? This is key to the rest of this.
At first, when I noticed some irregularities, I thought it was just my imagination, so I watched closely-like those people who watch movies for boom mikes dangling above the actors in movies.
My radar went up in last year's playoffs when I saw Cowboy receivers drop balls actually delivered to their hands-8 times, so I watched closely and I saw moves not unlike those used in WWE wrestling matches.
NFL games are choreographed, like WWE matches are. The games are choreographed so as to meet/beat gambling points. For instance, the Giants were the least likely team to get to the Superbowl last year, and yet, guess who won it all?
Doing research, I found it was [coincidence?] that for at least the past ten years that the team that won the Superbowl had some soap opera storyline approached-for instance:
2000 Super Bowl-Kurt Warner goes from stockboy to winning Superbowl QB.
2001 Super Bowl-The Baltimore Ravens are led by [linebacker??] Ray Lewis to victory. Lewis had been in trouble for a murder occured in drive by shooting. Seeing the error of his ways after being aquitted of murder, he recommitted himself and led his team to victory.
2002 Super Bowl- Just months after the US is attacked the New England Patriots win the Super Bowl. How very red, white, and blue.
I could go on, but I think you see my point. Sooner or later, some player will spill the beans.