Stripclub City Strengths vs NFL Playoff Results: Any Correlation??
minnow
Any place that interests me.
Playoff time again. I'm putting forth my "tongue-in-cheek" playoff predictions based solely on my experienced/percceived relative strength of respective city stripclubs vs one another. Please feel free to comment, based on your experience with the city's clubs.
ROUND ONE WILDCARDS
1) Philadelphia vs Minnesota- No contest here. Minnie & St. Paul of a combined total of 13 clubs. Philly has 31 clubs, plus a multitude of NJ & PA suburban clubs, including some that are perrenial T40. // EAGLES BY 13
2) Baltimore vs Miami- OK, Baltimore has 34 clubs and "The Block". Miami has 19 clubs, but a whole slew more in outlying areas: FLL, etc, plus enough long distance help from Palm Beach folks who don't think it's uncool to be a Dolphins fan. What's more, vast majority of clubs are nude with alcohol, a very potent combination. Ditto for mileage reports. Tootsies is a consistent T3-T5 club.// DOLPHINS BY 10.
3) Atlanta vs Arizona- These cities are so closely matched: Atlanta has 37 clubs, several with a good rep for eye candy factor, not so good mileage factor. Phoenix has 31 clubs(plus several in suburbs Tempe, Chandler, Scottsdale), several with attractive babes, but not that far up there on mileage charts. Atlanta has some pricey VIP options where some supposedly good things have happened. Phoenix doesn't have as much, if any, pricey VIP options, but the base version LD yields more than ATL does. This portends "more time of possesion" by Phoenix. Gotta go with......// CARDINALS BY 2.
4) Indianapolis vs San Diego- Indy has 21 clubs, San Diego 16. Indy clubs are topless/alcohol, with NO nude clubs available. San Diego is a mix- has more nude/juice bar options. However, Indy has overwhelming edge in contact wars- "airshows" don't cut it in the stripclub game. Nor can "long distance help" from TJ & Adelitas be heavily counted on- not when fan base would rather watch bullfights.// COLTS BY 7
ROUND ONE WILDCARDS
1) Philadelphia vs Minnesota- No contest here. Minnie & St. Paul of a combined total of 13 clubs. Philly has 31 clubs, plus a multitude of NJ & PA suburban clubs, including some that are perrenial T40. // EAGLES BY 13
2) Baltimore vs Miami- OK, Baltimore has 34 clubs and "The Block". Miami has 19 clubs, but a whole slew more in outlying areas: FLL, etc, plus enough long distance help from Palm Beach folks who don't think it's uncool to be a Dolphins fan. What's more, vast majority of clubs are nude with alcohol, a very potent combination. Ditto for mileage reports. Tootsies is a consistent T3-T5 club.// DOLPHINS BY 10.
3) Atlanta vs Arizona- These cities are so closely matched: Atlanta has 37 clubs, several with a good rep for eye candy factor, not so good mileage factor. Phoenix has 31 clubs(plus several in suburbs Tempe, Chandler, Scottsdale), several with attractive babes, but not that far up there on mileage charts. Atlanta has some pricey VIP options where some supposedly good things have happened. Phoenix doesn't have as much, if any, pricey VIP options, but the base version LD yields more than ATL does. This portends "more time of possesion" by Phoenix. Gotta go with......// CARDINALS BY 2.
4) Indianapolis vs San Diego- Indy has 21 clubs, San Diego 16. Indy clubs are topless/alcohol, with NO nude clubs available. San Diego is a mix- has more nude/juice bar options. However, Indy has overwhelming edge in contact wars- "airshows" don't cut it in the stripclub game. Nor can "long distance help" from TJ & Adelitas be heavily counted on- not when fan base would rather watch bullfights.// COLTS BY 7
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1) For those of you who closely follow the league, do you remember that three NFL owners were required to drop their interest in gambling enterprises? This is key to the rest of this.
2) At first, when I noticed some irregularities, I thought it was just my imagination, so I watched closely-like those people who watch movies for boom mikes dangling above the actors in movies.
3) My radar went up in last year's playoffs when I saw Cowboy receivers drop balls actually delivered to their hands-8 times, so I watched closely and I saw moves not unlike those used in WWE wrestling matches.
4) NFL games are choreographed, like WWE matches are. The games are choreographed so as to meet/beat gambling points. For instance, the Giants were the least likely team to get to the Superbowl last year, and yet, guess who won it all?
5) Doing research, I found it was [coincidence?] that for at least the past ten years that the team that won the Superbowl had some soap opera storyline approached-for instance:
2000 Super Bowl-Kurt Warner goes from stockboy to winning Superbowl QB.
2001 Super Bowl-The Baltimore Ravens are led by [linebacker??] Ray Lewis to victory. Lewis had been in trouble for a murder occured in drive by shooting. Seeing the error of his ways after being aquitted of murder, he recommitted himself and led his team to victory.
2002 Super Bowl- Just months after the US is attacked the New England Patriots win the Super Bowl. How very red, white, and blue.
I could go on, but I think you see my point. Sooner or later, some player will spill the beans.
Yeah, the Vikes were exposed as incapable. I could've seen it coming, but I thought they had a fighting chance, and it was fairly even through the first half and even through three quarters. It's just that when the Eagles made adjustments in the second half, the stakes were raised and Philly started to bear down, T-Jack just couldn't rise to the occasion. That Westbrook screen TD and the fumble by Birk didn't help, though.
Sorry to digress.
Oops, meant blow a field goal, must have been a typo. That refers to the 1998 NFC championship when Gary Anderson missed his only field goal of the year in the 4th quarter, which, had it been made, would have forced Atlanta to score twice, thus putting the Vikings into the Super Bowl.
Does anyone like T-Jack besides Brad Childress? He just seems wildly inconsistent, which is actually more than I would have said at the beginning of the season, when I would have said he was a waste of a roster spot.
Before moving on to Round 2, a few disclaimers out of the way: Firstly, I did say "tongue in cheek" review, based solely on the perceived strengths(merits) of the opposing cities stripclubs. Lastly, I consider a meaningful number of reviews to be 12 or more. Round 2 coming up in next post..............
Baltimore vs Tennessee- Baltimore has the Block, and 34 clubs, with 4 meaningful clubs rated above 7, Nashville has 7 clubs, none* of which are rated above 7 ??? Memphis is a tad far for "long distance help".// RAVENS BY 13
Arizona vs Carolina- Lets see, Phoenix has 31 clubs, 6 of which are rated above 7, Charlotte has 17 clubs, with only 1 rated above 7. Statewise, both are on the "conservative" side, insofar as contact rules, NC seemingly moreso. I have rather limited experience in both states, my gut impression gives AZ the edge, with some NC hotties notwistanding.// CARDINALS BY 7.
Philadelphia vs New York- Tough one to call, as I haven't been to NYC club in 20 yrs, and have only reviewed 1 Philly club. Both cities have a lot of clubs, many "hitw" with token number of reviews. Both have extensive suburban clubs. NYC has edge in number of clubs, but only 2 "meaningful" clubs rated above 7(one of those, Gallaghers, was rated 8ish). However, Philly has 8 clubs rated above 7, no 8ish clubs. The recent controversy surrounding "Hot Lapdance"(1 or 2 words?? , I didn't see them counted) implies that a controversial call with game winning implications will occur here. Anyway, I'm gonna go with// EAGLES BY 3
San Diego vs Pittsburgh- Neither city is strong stripclub or mileagewise. San Diego has 16 clubs, with only 1 rated above a 7, Pittsburgh has 5 (!!!) clubs, 1 of which is rated above a 7. TJ , Adelitas, etal, are close by, but in another country. Still, with that factor, I'm calling.......// CHARGERS BY A SAFETY (2)
* As explained in prior posts, I consider meaningful number of reviews to be 12 minimum.
Baltimore vs Pittsburgh: A carbon copy of last Ravens opponent- "The Block" & 30 plus clubs (4 rated above 7) vs 5 clubs (1 rated above 7), with little or no "long distance help"?? (Sorry, a WV club that had a 10 review on 1 of writeups was an obvious shill)// RAVENS BY 13
Philadelphia vs Arizona: Wading through the "numbers" 1st: Both Phoenix & Philly have 31 clubs, with additional clubs in the suburbs (Philly probably has edge in no. of suburban clubs, but...) Philly has at latest look, 7 significant clubs rated above 7, Phoenix 6. However, the average score of Philly's best is 7.47, Phoenix 7.6. Furthermore, my "subjective" overview of my experience in both Phoenix & Philly clubs (admitedly, more limited in the later) gives the edge to.....// CARDINALS BY 1
PITTSBURGH vs PHOENIX : Hmmm, 31 clubs for Phoenix, at least 2 of which have been on T40 list, vs 5 Pittsburgh clubs?? Sounds like no contest: // CARDINALS BY 13