there once was a man named Dave, who kept a dead whore in his cave, he had to admit, she stunk like shit, but look at the money he saved.
a CIA agent named Glover, begged head from a quick-witted lover, she joked, "your erection... has condom protection... would your boss mind my blowing your cover?"
my name is El Pauncho, I work on Rauncho, I make five pesos a day... I go to my Lucy, she give me some poocy. she take my five pesos away.
The essential limerick:
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was bigger, I'd fuck it!"
I knew a girl who was "ATE" before she was seven.
In the 5500 years since the invention of writing (cuneiform, 3500 BCE) mankind has seen his ability to express ideas evolve through the advent of the novel ("Tale of Genji" 1000 AD) and on through the development of theatre and poetry, through Shakespeare, Petrarch, Eliot, until we finally arrive at this limerick post on a strip-club forum...
Do I laugh or cry? ;->
O.
I'll start with a correction, sorry HOW but it just works better this way.
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear were a cunt, I would fuck it!"
There once was a man from Boston Who traded his Ford for an Austin There was room for his ass and six gallons of gass But his balls hung out and he lost em
There once was a minister from Peru Who was vainly trying to screw His wife said "Oy-Vey" if you keep on this way The Messiah will come before you!
There once was a fellow from Kent Whose dick was so long it was bent so to stay out of trouble he stuck it in double and insted of cumming he went!
Not quite a limerick, but a line from a Jodie Call:
The Cabin Boy, the Cabin Boy-- The dirty little Nipper-- Lined his ass With broken glass And circumcised the Skipper!
There once was a man named Sweeny who dripped some gin on his wheeny. Not to be uncouth, he dipped it in Vermouth and slipped his girl a martini.
Let me expand upon what how started here-the whole thing
In 1492 a dago from Portales was walking down the streets of Spain a selling hot tamales
(Refrain-He said the world was round oh he said it could be found oh that hypothetical masturbating son of a bitch Columbo
He walked right up to the Queen of Spain demanding ships and cargo. He said I'll be a son of a bitch if I don't bring back Chicago.
refrain
The Queen of Spain she gave him ships they all were triple deckers The Queen of Spain she waved goodbye Columbo waved his pecker.
refrain
For forty days and forty nights they sailed the broad Atlantic if not for the actions of the cabin boy the crew would all go frantic
refrain
The cabin boy, the cabin boy that dirty little nipper he reamed his ass with pieces of glass and circumsized the skipper
refrain
Finally they reached the American shore and spotted an American whore within the space of twenty four hours she'd made ten thousand dollars
refrain (slowly) end.
This is NOT a limerick but, it made the news about five years ago... This was when Michael Jackson was accused of all that child molestation. At that time, they had a burger at MacDonalds called the 'MacMichael Jackson Burger'. It was a forty-five year old piece of meat between 2 eight year old buns.
Does anyone remember why Lorana Bobbitt was acquitted? It was because they had to throw out the most crucial piece of evidence. It wouldn't stand up in court.
Do you know why she threw his dick out of the car window? She didn't have the balls to hang on to it.
Shadowcat... That's only because she didn't cut those off too.
You know when you're a reindeer it's hard to smell sweetly; running and flying, you get pretty sweaty; but do you recall the smelliest reindeer of all..............
Rudolph the brown-nosed reindeer Had a very smelly rack He had his head and antlers All the way up Santa's crack
All of the other reindeer Said he was a smelly nerd "Rudolph you stinky reindeer On your snout there hangs a turd"
Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa said "You schmuck-- Your head's so far up my butt I'm afraid you've got it stuck"
Then how the reindeer hooted As they shouted out with scorn "Rudolph you brown-nosed reindeer You've got one big smelly horn.
This Christmas carol is to "Walkin' in a winter wonderland"
Lacy things the wife is missin' I didn't ask for her permission I'm wearing her clothes her silk panty-hothes walkin' round in womens underwear...
In the store there's a teddy with little straps like spaghetti it holds me so tight like handcuffs at night walkin' round in womens underwear...
in the office there's a guy named Melvin he pretends that I am Murphy Brown He'll say, "are ya ready?" I'll say, "Whoa man." "Let's wait until the wife is outta town."
Later on if ya' wanna we can dress like Madonna put on some eye shade and join the parade Wakin' round in womens underwear.......
yank, that last post of yours was...revelatory! Whatever floats your boat, dude... ;)
Thanks How.. I feel so free now that I'm out of the closet when it comes to my cross-dressing. LOL keep em' guessing.
If you know any, please don't hesitate to share..