1 hour ago

Make us laugh. Share a funny, true stripper story

(Apologies, if I've mentioned this before).

So, boom; I'm at this stripper-house-party. In this case, it's a regular, residential, private, normal-looking, suburban home, where some local dude invited a bunch of random local ladies to take off their clothes and dance--in his house. But we're all mostly strangers who got a private text, because we're trusted to be cool. There's a VIP 'Boom Boom' room, separate from the main party room--going on in the furnished living room.

Anyways, I'm in the VIP Boom Boom room, with a dancer I picked and about roughly 3 other random couples, as well. We all entered this bedroom as pairs, at separate times..so, maybe 8 of us individuals in here, now, occupying a different space as pairs, in the Boom Boom room, which is an empty bedroom. It's hella dark, no lights, (for privacy) and oddly, unusually quiet. Especially, since there's 8 mostly strangers packed in one bedroom of someone's house, it's very quiet for several minutes. .

Suddenly a dancer blurted out: "DON'T FALL IN LOVE!" And everybody laughed. And started talking and joking. To this day, I wonder: Was she talking to herself and it just pierced the quiet room? Was she just trying to warn only the specific dude she was with and we all just heard it? Was she just trying to be funny because it was so quiet?

After that, anytime a new couple entered the room, we all yelled "Don't fall in love!"

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gothamyte

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1 hour ago

Another time, different stripper-house-party, (not recent, at least a year or more ago) and I hadn't fully digested my surroundings. Suddenly, I hear a dancer say, "...turn the channel--my daughter is playing tonight (in The WNBA)"

First time I'm really looking at this dancer lady standing across the room and yeah, she's kinda tall. Eventually her daughter comes on-screen and yeah there's a resemblance.

Then I'm thinking: Dang! how old are you, lady?? Gotta be at least 40. Which is fine, I've seen that before, but, still, dang. And then you think, damn, this is so on-point for WNBA players, their moms probably still working jobs.

How surreal to see someone live on TV and be hearing from their mom, who is standing live nearby.

This falls into the category of: funny as in weird.

gothamyte

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48 minutes ago

I'm at the stripclub, I'm in line, waiting to get in. Security is posted outside of the club, in the street, to pat us down, before we may enter. (This was at least a decade ago)

I'm wearing 'silky' super thin, black pajama pants. Ya can't tell from afar, though--from afar, I just look like I'm wearing dark pants. And, of course, I'm going commando.

Security pats me down, top to bottom. He gets on his knees and checks my ankles for weaponry, but while doing so, takes a tug on my pants by the ankles. Now, the belt elastic on these pajamas are very shot, from years of wear and tear. My pajama bottoms come crashing down to my ankles, while I'm standing in line, in public. Remember: these pajama bottoms are very loosey goosey by now from constant washing machine abuse.

The security guard freezes like a statue and dude keeps his head down and eyes to the floor, he's still on his knees, but now waiting patiently for me to pull my pants back up. Dudes behind me in line are howling laughing.

But I'm a stripclub pro, of course, I got on a super thin, way oversized shirt that goes past my arse. So nobody saw nothin'. But to this day, I'm scared to death that'll happen again. Yes, he let me in the club.

By the way, very recently, within the past year, I'm at a different strip club, wearing a different super thin pajama bottoms that I copped from Goodwill somewhere, nice and old-school 1970s thin fabrics. Suddenly a dancer standing by idly yells out, rather loud, "Oooh, you can see right through his pants!" And she's pointing directly at me, and I'm standing a few feet away. Very alarming for me. My pajama pants are black or very dark blue. I'm aware at certain light, maybe you can see through. I wasn't ready for anyone to see through at any given moment. I really thought I had more control of that. Yeah, I hightailed it away from that spot I was standing at. I may have to retire this particular bottoms, I wasn't thinking these were obviously see through, I'm not trying to do or be all that. I like em thin, but not that thin.

Manuellabore

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25 minutes ago

These are great stories. Wish I was cool enough to get invites to stripper-house-parties. Is it mandatory that I wear silky pajama pants, though? That could be a dealbreaker