anybody wanna buy a monkey?

DickJohnson
Illinois
I have a 7 yr. old rheus monkey for sale. He is brown with white spots. He likes to watch Baywatch and also is very adept at a yo-yo. His favorite color jello is key-lime green. I have to get rid of him because I just painted my house and he insists at throwing his feces at me.

27 comments

Latest

BobbyI
16 years ago
I have some bad news:

Not only does he throw feces around your freshly painted house, but when you are not looking he signs on to TUSL as "parodyman--->" and throws feces around this board.
shadowcat
16 years ago
I don't think so but if any of you are into raising tropical fish Email me.
parodyman-->
16 years ago
Simulated Shadowcat: "The other night at the club a tropical fish said nice things to me. Could she really like my old ass? Or am I just a ATM to her. Did I mention she let me "gill fuck" her and then she told me I was the only one to ever do that. And I only paid half price! How many guys could do that?
shadowcat
16 years ago
Only me ass hole...
parodyman-->
16 years ago
"Only me ass hole..." -- is that an admission to engaging in sexual relations with tropical fish?
shadowcat
16 years ago
wow, what a put down. You must have stayed up all night to come up with that one.
BobbyI
16 years ago
Now you're getting the hang of it, shadowcat.

Rules for flame wars with parodyman-->:

a) parody will never address a serious argument or holes in his logic that you present, so don't even bother. Stick to ad homs against him and your own flames
b) especially effective is to attack his very ability to post good flames
c) if parody claims that you are "X" never try to argue, logically, that you are not, rather just call him a "Y"
d) if you really want to push his buttons, he his real trigger issues: anything that good little liberals hate. talk of how proud you are of America, etc
e) do what he does: random insert insults of in threads even if completely off topic

Seriously... The only way to lose with parodyman--> is by taking him seriously. Out-silly him. He is really quite harmless when you play his own game back at him.
BobbyI
16 years ago
Should ad

f) purposely misspell words, and use bad grammar. especially in thread titles. Good four a thousan lulz.
parodyman-->
16 years ago
"Good four a thousan lulz." -- He be trollin.
arbeeguy
16 years ago
back to the monkey - can he do the organ-grinder act with a cute little pillbox hat on his head and a cute little tin cup in his hand? And would you happen to have an organ-grinder available to go with the monkey?
DickJohnson
16 years ago
he used to do that b4 he started to think the job was beneath him. Now he sits around all day masturbating to baywatch episodes and giving me dirty looks. i do not say much to him anymore cuz hes likely to flip out. he could be bi-polar. every price offer entertained.
BobbyI
16 years ago
"he used to do that b4 he started to think the job was beneath him. Now he sits around all day masturbating to baywatch episodes and giving me dirty looks. i do not say much to him anymore cuz hes likely to flip out. he could be bi-polar. every price offer entertained. "

Well perhaps once "parodyman-->" finds a new home he'll be happier, or at least will no longer have internet access.
Dain
16 years ago
Does her prefer your wife missionary or doggy?
shadowcat
16 years ago
A good back is always "Spanking the monkey".
parodyman-->
16 years ago
Can the monkey be trained to travel to SC and punch Shadowcat in his sack?
Clubber
16 years ago
DickJohnson,

Check with weso. Maybe the monkey would make a great rest room attendant in his new club!
shadowcat
16 years ago
Parody, Never send a monkey to do a mans job ( not even a boy). If you insist, bring it on. Buy the monkey and make the trip to SC. I will bring Shadowcat, My 4 legged 16 pounder. While he is taking care of your friend, I will let the dancers bitch slap the shit out of you. They have always protected their interests, Me from other dancers. What is another pussy to them?
parodyman-->
16 years ago
Another “load” of wisdom from my pal Shadowcat:

“Parody, Never send a monkey to do a mans job ( not even a boy).” -- OK no plane ticket for Bobbyl

“If you insist, bring it on.” – You sound like a cheerleader.

“Buy the monkey and make the trip to SC.” – I told you before I don’t visit states where banjo music is prevalent.

“I will bring Shadowcat, My 4 legged 16 pounder.” -- A 16 pound leaving in your depends? Amazing! Or is this another Southern inbred monster?

“While he is taking care of your friend, I will let the dancers bitch slap the shit out of you.” -- Dress them up in leather first!

“They have always protected their interests, Me from other dancers.” – Is this bragging or do some of the women try to hurt you?

“What is another pussy to them?” – Judging by their clientele…
shadowcat
16 years ago
What is a banjo? I was born and raised in California. The land of fruits and nuts. You would be welcomed there.
parodyman-->
16 years ago
“What is a banjo?” – The ultimate icon for those inbred backward states like SC!

“I was born and raised in California.” – Then they kicked you out?

“The land of fruits and nuts. You would be welcomed there.” – California isn’t my trip; Too many stupid laws and special interest groups for me.
DickJohnson
16 years ago
i got bad news..today i noticed that there was a small travel bag and some incidentals missing from my place. I think my m onkey is on the open road or has hitched a ride on the nearest train out of town. he always hinted he wanted to see the world. im gonna miss him.
Dougster
16 years ago
Aren't you worried that parody is a little young to be out hitch-hiking alone? Heck, he might get spotted by the Archie Bunker like flag wavers who butt raped him back in his racist hometown.
parodyman-->
16 years ago
I bet he has run off to SC to punch Shadowcat in the sack. Or maybe to throw the old bananna into Scat's daughter... And goober too.
Shekitout
16 years ago
p-man: Do you think Steve Martin made a trip to S.C. just to buy the banjo he plays? What on earth is your basis for thinking that banjo music is prevalent in S.C.? How much banjo music do you hear on Hootie & the Blowfish's material? I don't hear any. I don't hear any banjo music on the Marshall Tucker Band's material either. Stop sterotyping a place you know nothing about, you dolt.
Try getting out of IL sometime and broaden your horizon as well as your material. Your shit is really getting old. If it were not for Shadowcat's posts you would absolutely have no life.
parodyman-->
16 years ago
SHREK: “p-man: Do you think Steve Martin made a trip to S.C. just to buy the banjo he plays?”

PM: No I do not. Because he isn’t a hick like you; I’m sure he was able to afford one that wasn’t cobbled together with rusty pipes, soup cans and bailing wire.

SHREK: “What on earth is your basis for thinking that banjo music is prevalent in S.C.?”

PM: Because both you and shadowcat have done so well representing your chosen State. Your misspellings and your unenlightened attitudes coupled with the ignorance that just drips from your posts makes me think that SC boys are issued a banjo at birth.

SHREK: “How much banjo music do you hear on Hootie & the Blowfish's material? I don't hear any. I don't hear any banjo music on the Marshall Tucker Band's material either.”

PM: I don’t hear any but then again I don’t listen to that crap. Hootie & the Blowfish? Marshall Tucker? You are just too fucking hip for me Shrek.

SHREK: “Stop sterotyping a place you know nothing about, you dolt.”

PM: I will, as soon as you and Shadowcat stop acting like a couple of stereotypes.

SHREK: “Try getting out of IL sometime and broaden your horizon as well as your material.”

PM: I get out plenty. And I am much more tolerant and accepting of different things than you have proven yourself to be. Perhaps you aren’t too old to crack acouple books and learn something.

SHREK: “Your shit is really getting old.”

PM: Funny, so are you.

SHREK: “If it were not for Shadowcat's posts you would absolutely have no life.”

PM: Aw Shrek, I live for your posts. They are by far the most ignorant and inbred diatribes of the bunch. Shadowcat may have his bad points but he is still miles past you in intelligence. You are just a bitter old argumentative prick.
parodyman-->
16 years ago
I'd like to see Shrek get tattooed like Kerry King and then get on stage, whip out his banjo and throw down with "South of Heaven" or "Angel of Death." Then I'll stop making fun of him. Maybe...
parodyman-->
16 years ago
Or maybe not...
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