Parking and Strip Clubs

There's a few places where I said, Oh hell no I am NOT leaving my car to be attacked by these fucking crackheads out here.

Northeast Philadelphia (Kensington) and downtown Paterson, NJ. That I didn't even bother going into the clubs, I would come out to a broken window that I didn't need.

I was recently in Los Angleles. And I'm looking for parking to get 4play. And I see a few spots and I look and some dude is having a sword fight with a dumpster. Yeah ok let me keep looking here.

Got ticketed and JUST save my car from getting towed in Stone Park, IL outside of Gold Club. The police officer was right behind me and the tow truck was turning the corner when I was just getting back to it. Don't y'all got like crime to worry about?

I recently got a 120 dollar parking ticket outside of Melbourne. That is such a kick in the nuts.

I got a guy hanging in the parking lot asking for a dollar in Nashville outside of Larry Flynts. I just here man take a dollar. It ain't worth the guy taking a dump on my car. No fucking thank you. I'll pay a bit for a piece of mind.

Some of these downtown clubs, there's just no parking anywhere nearby, so I might be walking like 30 minutes just to get there.

Parking can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.

I was in Dallas a very long time ago (over 10 years) and I pull up to a club (can’t remember the name) and the street out front had like almost a block of broken car glass. I was like uh oh, this means someone bashed out at least one window each of a row of cars. Most people would turn around and leave. Since I’m a horny PL I said to myself, “and this is why I always purchase full coverage on my rental cars when I travel.”

I go to the next club and I pull in the parking lot and almost the same thing, broken auto glass on the ground, this place even had security roaming the lot!

The to cap the trip I went to Baby Dolls Dallas. In the same week, a girl was run over and killed in the parking lot by a big jacked up truck, the driver was drunk and didn’t see her walking in the lot. Google it, the truck was about the size of Big Foot, I doubt the truck would be street legal in most states.

There were a lot of Follies customers that got boots put on their cars parked across the street in the Fiesta Plaza parking lot. $100 or more to get them removed.

You know what I was also at Spearmint Rhino in Birmingham in the UK. I parked at the lot next door, didn't think much of it. I got a Parking Eye camera ticket. Parking Eye? What kind of fucking commie bullshit is that?

Dealing with parking sucks. This is why I like to leave biking directions and information on logistics of arriving by other forms of transportation (e.g. subway, bus, walking distance to hotel clusters, seaplane, helicopter feasibility, and uber cost/reliability from nearby hotels)

I'd rather walk / bike to a club or take the train than drive. I guess those of you that LDK all the time might not want to take a subway back, but that isn't a problem for me.

Once when I visited Shieks, I figured I'd be clever and avoid the parking fees of the ramp just down the block, so I parked out on the street a few blocks away because there wasn't any closer parking. Well, I wound up closing the club. When I stepped out, not only had it started snowing, but I had forgotten where I parked (which really is pretty typical of me; I should've known better). After about a half hour of wandering around, I flagged down a cab and we started cruising around. Five, maybe ten minutes later, we found it, undamaged but still getting covered in snow.

"I look and some dude is having a sword fight with a dumpster"

@Muddy Well, it's not exactly Inigo vs. "the man in black", but I'd probably have grabbed some popcorn and bet $20 on the dumpster...

But yeah, I'll never go into any club if I can't park safely and without hassle. I also won't do valet parking, and the lot better not look like the surface of the moon, either.

Fortunately, I have no real horror stories about parking drama to share thus far...

The only real parking story I can tell is the time I pulled into a small town strip club parking lot early on in my strip clubbing days and some teenager was filming everyone walking into the club. He had this giant video camera he was recording everything with. He asked a couple questions. I told him all I want to see are hot naked chicks. I hope I'm not on the internet somewhere.

Most won't remember this place, but decades ago there used to be a club in Newark NJ called After Dark. It was right on Rt 21 but to get to it you had to endure about 3 blocks of back streets that were almost impassible; more potholes than road. But once in the parking lot, you were literally 25 feet from the entrance ramp to the highway. This would be a good spot if you were a car thief because you could be on the highway in about 10 seconds and long gone from the area in less than a minute.

There used to be an old bum who would hit you up on the way in, claiming he would "keep an eye" on your car and you could tip him whatever you wanted. I usually gave $5 mostly because I didn't want HIM to fuck with my car. But one night he actually did spot a suspicious character checking out all the cars. He went and got the bouncers and by the time they got out there the guy had the door open and was getting in.

From what I heard, those guys pulled him out of the car and worked him over pretty good. After that I used to bring a small bottle of cheap whiskey and would give it to the bum in addition to the $5 tip.

Here's a picture of the entrance which was also visible from Rt 21 if you were just driving past. The building was torn down about 10 years ago.

Where in Paterson lol?

@misterorange I always saw that place for years but never went into it.

@Aj247 Way back in the late 80's / early 90's that place was a real hot spot. Standing room only and a waiting line to get in. It would be packed with probably 150 patrons. Only rules were the club's rules. They operated with complete disregard for the law, and were not too discrete about it either. Haha.

Which places in Paterson New Jersey stand out as being especially bad or especially good in terms of safe parking?

@highplainsdrifter I believe the worst is Marcet, just off Rt 80. Shady as fuck. I've been there a few times and was always concerned about my car, but thankfully nothing ever happened. Best is probably Hitching Post. While technically in Paterson, it's really more like Woodland Park, right by Garrett Mountain. Best around inner city must be Roxxie's. Not a great area, but they have their own parking lot and feels safe. If you're concerned about it, just across the river and up a hill is Jiggles in Hawthorne. Paterson style entertainment in a perfectly safe area.

@muddy—clubs in Kensington (Philly)?

I forget the place in Paterson but it was the heart of downtown.

And Philly was levels

Even after 3 decades, the middle aged female panhandler chasing after me in my rental car at Goldrush parking lot in Atlanta stands out as my weirdest club parking lot experience.

At least 25+ years ago, I was at the Alpine in Syracuse, NY. Cars were parked in the street and on the sidewalk along the side of the club when the parking lot was full. It was too dangerous to park in the street away from the club. The club is gone.

One time I was leaving a strip club parking lot and ran into the pole holding up the strip club sign. After that, I was more careful about how many drinks I had.