My wife hired a private detective and caught me in bed with a stripper

So, is this trying to say he was dropped from the team because of a morals clause in his contract or something? I'm more inclined to think the drinking and drug use made him play shitty.

In other news, I have a strong longing for tacos.

I get it

And in other news, I have a strong longing for Jack, wildebeest tacos, and naked female hairless apes.

BTW, have you ever ate a wildebeest taco while fucking and drinking Jack? Only thing that would make the experience better is driving your Tesla at the same time. ROAR!!!

Also, did you notice that the football guy was drinking one of this rick’s favorite cocktails? Jack+Captain Morgan. Well…this particular lion prefers a nice Dominican rum. Or maybe Jack+cachaça. That’s rickthejaguar’s favorite.

Anyhoo…where was I? Oh yeah…I need some Jack, wildebeest tacos, and sex. Imma go get me some of that. ROAR!!!

So he was an alcoholic. There is an entire class of guys who love strippers because they will pretend to still like and respect you if you're sloppy drunk or high

^ if you keep slipping money into their g-string they’ll like just about anyone.