Spring Training--Force Ranking the 26 MLB markets

Mar 2, 2024, 4:41 AM

So, for funsies I thought we should force rank the clubbing scene in the 26 MLB markets (I'm counting Oakland as SF, but you can dispute this or even count them as LV if you want).

Note: Do we include Providence for the Red Sox or Tijuana for the Padres? (Or other places that I'm missing)? I didn't here, but that might move certain rankings dramatically.

Here's my initial ranking. Please dispute:

Detroit: Consensus best, better summer weather than FLA Miami: Consensus 2nd best, cooler than Tampa Tampa: Good value, like the Rays? Toronto Philly (do we count Playhouse lounge for Philly?) Baltimore Boston (Full nude and booze ranking it higher than the next group) LA (COI) Phoenix Atlanta (higher/lower???) Seattle Denver Dallas Houston East St Louis (perceived danger of neighborhood has it lower) DC (Rumors are very hot girl giving it the best of this tier)) SF (Shitty prices have it lower) NYC Chicago San Diego Pittsburg Cleveland Cincinnati Minneapolis Kansas City Milwaukee

comments (8)

Jump to latest

Context22last year

You might have to drop Seattle down the list soon. New legislation recently passed very well may kill the clubs as we know them.

Context22last year

They are going to allow alcohol to be served in the clubs. With that is going to bring added scrutiny to what’s going on in the club.

Jacks4thsonlast year

You must know of some clubs in Baltimore that no one else does.

Studme53last year

If Providence counts for Boston, the Playhouse counts for Philly.

Btw - I went to the Playhouse yesterday afternoon and watched some Grapefruit League baseball.

Ok…it was on the TVs but I didn’t actually watch it. I was there to ogle the ladies and get a nice handshake

Harderlaplast year

I would put DC at the bottom with Boston right above. If you count Tucson, I know a stretch, as Phoenix, then I would move Phoenix up.

misterorangelast year

I never understood the connection between "full nude" and not serving alcohol. Conventional wisdom suggests that the combination of drinking while seeing fully exposed pussy on the stage might cause some perverts to act out in an aggressive manner. And perhaps subject the dancers to more unwanted groping and such. But then why allow BYOB? I mean, you can buy a whole bottle of liquor for what some clubs charge for one Martini.

Here in NJ you can't even have topless dancing if there's alcohol served. But with only a couple exceptions, I've found these bikini & booze joints to be a fucking extras festival, while the nude places either don't offer extras or the cost for said extras is prohibitive. My point is, if they're trying to prevent so-called misbehavior, well I find the non-nude bikini bars to have a lot more filthy fun available than the nude places.

Truth is, I don't care so much about them being all nude on stage. I care about what happens in the VIP. A girl dancing in a bikini or lingerie gives me a good enough idea of what I'll be getting in the back room. One might even say it's more exciting having to wait a little while to get all her clothes off. Of course you do run a small risk of a girl having big ugly misshapen nipples, or a hairy 70's-style bush, but odds are that won't happen.

HedonistBGlast year

Baltimore isn't bad--I'd leave it out of the bottom 10. But Dallas, Houston, LA, Phoenix, and probably Atlanta (based on reviews) should be above it and probably higher overall on your list. D.C. might belong in the bottom 10 because it doesn't have legal lap dances and the clubs are small; but some clubs offer VIP rooms now. I wouldn't put Detroit #1 either; I'd put it below the Florida clubs and Dallas.

bang69last year

Drop Seattle to the bottom. And raise Atlanta more closer to the top