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F'd up so bad in a strip club, stripper called me Osama Bin Laden

Avatar for Muddy
MuddyUSA

Not too long ago at a strip club in lower Manhattan. I was doing my thing. Everyone bandying about. Saw a stripper, with the biggest fake tits I've ever seen. Gigantic. And I noticed one of her nipples was missing. I took her for dances and immediately grabbed her boobs and squeezed hard until I hear POP, POP and they began to deflate. I said "Oh ma Gaaa" sort of like a preteen girl in the 7th grade at would say OMG at the lunch table if Tyler and Jessie broke up. Which sort of sound Alla akbar now that I think about it in hindsight.

All the strippers in the club with their arms crossed began to shake their heads in disapproval and said in unison: "O-SAMA!"

"Oh I done did it again, Oh I done did it again"

seinfeld theme

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Avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi

what have you been smoking lately?

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Avatar for drewcareypnw
drewcareypnw

Muddy, you need a lap dance stat, the jizz is building up in your body and putting pressure on you brainstem!

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Avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg

Pro tip - trim your freaking fingernails!!😜

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Avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl

Maybe all the strippers were in an Al Qaeda cell. Those were suicide implants, meant to take out Rudy Guliani when he came in for some lappers and started motor boating. You set them off too soon. Now you will have to live in hiding like Salmon Rushdie. You should be more suspicious about missing nipples when you're not in the Bronx.

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Avatar for Sgtsnowman
Sgtsnowman

Sounds like you triggered the IEDD (Implanted Erectile Disfunction Devices).

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