I am posting this in the TJ forum because this is my favorite forum. But applies to other places where sex workers operate. I have always wondered how much physical discomfort (pain, general fatigue) is experienced by a sex worker. A couple of times, I had a girl slow me down. Also, I like the missionary position and a couple of times, the girls put pillows under their butts providing me a smooth entry...I like to stand by the bed when I go in. Seems like the doggy position is the most comfortable for them. Also, one time, I was a little too enthusiastic with my squeeze/suck of the boobs and a the girl stopped me. Another time, I was sensuously sucking on the bobs in the front room and the girl waited a few minutes and at tone time she convulsed and stopped me dead in the tracks. Of course, once we were in the privacy of a room, she allowed me have all the fun.
Does anyone know from talking to the girls, how bad ( I am sure involuntary sex is only bad) it is for the girls while they are in bed with a guy?
It takes a physical and psychological toll. Almost every girl I know who does it can't do it sober. And they always take time to decompress. Hate being touched after being with customers. Take the longest showers. Physically there's fatigue and soreness
Use your common sense. It takes less of a toll for a sugar baby who sees only one client a few times per month. As compared to an AMP worker or TJ brothel worker who fucks two dozen guys per day. It must take an awful psychological and physical toll.
One would assume there are multiple variables at play:
+ for one, one would assume most of the girls are not doing this out of enjoyment - it's an exception to find women that wanna/like having sex multiples times a day, let alone w/ strangers, and add to that they may often not be attracted to the person and find him undesirable
+ so most of the girls are not doing this for pleasure, and often do it multiple times a day - so one would assume they'd often prefer for the custy to go as easy as possible and not "fuck them hard" (of course "there are exceptions")
+ there is also the variable that there are women that are innately more physically sensitive and/or less-able to take a pounding
It's a tough-call - the custy wants his pleasure - the girl may often just wanna get thru it to get her $$$ - the csuty is only doing one maybe 2 arribas and maybe leaves The Zona after that; while the girl is likely doing more arribas and multiple days per week weeks/months on end.
I guess it's something to keep in mind - I assume most custies don't necessarily have this in mind since they are focused on having a good time.
I guess a rule-of-thumb would be:
+ try to treat them well and make them comfortable and at ease with you
+ not treat them any harsher than one would treat their S.O.
+ be aware how much fucking they have to do on daily/weekly/monthly basis
But in the end this will often likely be a problem as one would assume most men are naturally more aggressive sexually than the avg woman.
The US escorts I've seen were pretty assertive about what was and wasn't OK with them. That's why, for me, it only worked well if I was an escort's regular. An escort with whom I "clicked". I was able to be satisfied, while staying within the limits of what was comfortable for her. That seems to be a drawback with TJ, I don't hear much talk here about repeating with a fav.
Many (maybe most) escorts are not comfortable with your mouth being anywhere on them. Nipples are made to be sucked on by infants. When a grownup sucks on them, in any way but very delicately, it's likely to be uncomfortable.
Women find penetration less comfortable the less aroused they are. Moving slowly and only penetrating a couple inches is generally more comfortable. But this may mean you'll be slow to cum. Consider letting her finish you with a handjob, it's possible she'll be willing to do it without a condom. A backrub might help her relax "down there". But no two women have the same idea about how to do the perfect backrub.
Err on the side of caution, don't touch a woman's boobs in any way you would not want your testicles to be touched, unless it's very clear she's really OK with more than that.
Wouldn't hurt to bring a big bottle of lube, encourage her to use it, and offer to let her keep the bottle.
Find a clinic that offers licensed counseling services, and see it they can do an assessment of your level of empathy. They might have ways to help you increase you empathy, if need be.
I had 5 women in one day and my Dick was sore for almost a day afterwards. I can only imagine how these working women feel. But just like a construction worker with a sore back, got to go back to work to make money. all the working women I have been with have been doing it for years so they know the physical aspects of it. They love money like we love pussy. Understand that and you understand the game.
Great points b Papi_Chulo...and ilbbaicnl must have clinical training in something....I think the girls must have techniques to "relazx" themselves enabling easy penetration. I am sure most guys go in to the full depth very quickly. I try to keep is shallow and then go into full penetration mode once the girl is relaxed enough...of course...have used lube generously...sometimes the girl pauses you in the middle of a session and drips in some lube...have always marveled at their perfect aim dribbling a few drops rights on your shaft...also found it quite kinky....you wait with you shaft a few inches inside her as she lubes you up for further enjoyment.
It was a big change for me when I got to know some AMP girls, especially in San Francisco where things are much more extreme, and then in one of our underground clubs where this group I call, "The Beloved Latina" escorts were doing Front Room Full Service. They just made it happen, and they were good!
And then a lot of the other girls were Market St. Cinema veterans. For some girls that was the only club they liked to dance at, cause they could do it their way, which was mostly front room and instant FS.
These girls love what they are doing and they are really good at it.
What I think made it hard for them in the beginning was that guys treat them as hookers and just offer money, as though that is all they are about. So initially sure, that would anger them. But eventually they see that the others come to accept it and just to go with it, so doing it the way the guy offers is better than sitting on the side lines.
Q: Any physical discomfort for sex workers?
A: That would have to be considered in a case by case basis.
Q: Does anyone know from talking to the girls, how bad ( I am sure involuntary sex is only bad) it is for the girls while they are in bed with a guy?
A: I have talked to at least one stripper turned escort who said “I do enjoy sex, so I might as well get paid well for doing it”
Human sexuality is diverse, a single view or social norm can’t dictate what healthy sexuality is for all women or men.
In some other cultures from the past and some modern societies sex work is a valid legal form of employment, in our sexually repressed American society it is not.
In our Over-sexualized and at the same time Sexually-Repressed American culture/society. men and women receive mixed messages about their sexuality. We want women to be objects of sexual desire, yet we expect them to be pure...
The reality is that, just like men, women have a natural and healthy desire to be sexual. Yet women are less likely to reveal their sexual desire. American society encourages women to push their sexual desires down.
Believe it or not there sexworkers who are educated and smart who have consensually and independently chosen sex as a profession.
“In 1968 Xaviera Hollander resigned from her job as a secretary in the Dutch consulate in Manhattan to become a call girl, making $1,000 a night ($7400 today).
A year later, she opened her own brothel, the Vertical Whorehouse, and soon became New York City's leading madam.
In 1971, she was arrested for prostitution by New York Police and forced to leave the United States.
Also in 1971, Hollander published a memoir, The Happy Hooker: My Own Story
A documentary was released in 2008 about Xaviera Hollander, the Happy Hooker: Portrait of a Sexual Revolutionary.
You have to remember these girls are human. I think it at least some of it depends on how often they are having sex. Some of the girls at HK are almost doing laps from HK to Cascadas, but most of them probably only get 1 or 2 trips to the hotel each night (if that many).
You really need to read the girl. If she is pushing your hand away she is probably uncomfortable. I was sharing a ficha with a girl last week and squeezing her tits, I could here her say "soft soft", that was all I needed to know to relax the pressure.
I do think most of the girls do enjoy the sexual encounters, but I also know from what little conversation I can have with them that the job is tiring.
Agree with the sentiment above, always have some lube and lotion available.
I don't invite women into P4P. Never have, never will. But I accept the fact that they want to pay their bills, and that they see a willingness to fork over money as a sign of care, concern, and respect. If you walk into a strip club, you've got to accept that.
ICEY, the OP is talking about physical discomfort, like from doing quantity. He assumes that the women are adults who know that they are doing.
You are trying to make it somehow into a case where they are not presumed to be adults who know what they are doing. That is extremely disrespectful to them.
Good to hear they know about the need for lots of lube. Women who get into escorting in the US often dive right into the deep end, they have to learn how to reduce the discomfort of fucking with no arousal the hard way. Hopefully the TJ clubs have house moms.
I still have fond memories of my ATF escort. She was an ex-dancer, four kids, mid 30s. Seem to feel she was past her prime, but I found her near flawless. I tipped her 40% or so, because it seemed to me the agency she was with had her rate way too low. She was very appreciative of that. We did not mesh personality-wise. She had a very dog-eat-dog philosophy of life. Clearly thought I was a rube, although she didn't come right out and say it. She would allow deep mouth kissing, not easy to find with an escort. She'd let me stay way over the hour. I kissed her on the nipple once, and she told me not to. After several dates, she said she liked being kissed on her boobs, but I was worried she was feeling too appreciative, pushing herself to do things that were unpleasant for her. I would only go in 2 or 3 inches, kept it shallow but deep enough not to queef-load her. But she'd take it all when she was cowgirl, only woman who ever did. We'd hide the salami for 20 to 30 minutes. She remarked once she'd had two orgasms. But I was skeptical, they weren't noticeable.
There was another 19-year-old escort I saw once. She'd had a few, but wasn't wobbly or talking with slurred speach. She kept telling me she knew martial arts, and I better behave, or I was getting beat down. But then she started talking about us civvie dating, and I thought, oh my god, maybe she's got alcohol poisoning. I offered to take her to the emergency room, but she said she was fine. I left her my phone number in case she started to feel bad. So she sent me a dirty text message. But it was my wall phone, so I got a voice message with a computer-generated voice reading me a dirty text message.
ilbbaicnl, how do you feel about this legal premise that sex work has to remain criminalized because sex workers are never really consenting or in control of their own affairs?
Amnesty International disagrees and says that it should be decriminalized.
You can't legally consent to illicit labor nor profit from it.
Anyways of course it takes a physical toll. Look at high volume hoes like at amps.
Regardless it not easy and not really enjoyable. Of the hoes I know not a single one fucks tricks for any reason other than the money. Its not even sex for them. They call it trapping hustling whatever. Sex is something they do coz they want to.
I know a girl who has a sugar daddy and a few steady tricks. That's work to her. When she's with me that part of her life isn't anything she talks about or anything.
Adults can consent to anything they want. Many now want to repeal laws which make sex work illegal.
The high physical volume is what the OP wanted to talk about. Ibllianci introduced the idea of artificial lube. But the sex workers themselves are the ones to know that their limits are.
And as you show, sex workers are just like anybody else, capable of having ordinary relationships. And they want their occupations to be decriminalized.
@tbot, not tryna be a scold, but if you are in close physical contact with somebody, and are surprised when they jerk away the first second they can, low empathy seems like a likely reason.
What's often a good win-win option with an escort is to ask for a BJ, with you lying on your back, and her with her knees next to your chest. Common for men to like this visual, and all the nice-to-caress places are within reach. Seem like most escorts are not bothered much by BBBJ, relatively little risk of STD transmission. But she'll probably want to finish with an HJ (no CIM).
tbot, why did you start this thread? Are you concerned about the BGs comfort, or just curious?
@icee yeah and then there are pimps that wear a junkie stripper whore down so much that she leaves him, even though she gets a steady supply of coke and money. A totally dysfunctional relationship, no? 🤭😂
People can't be productized. No win-win with all sex workers, and in many, maybe most, PL-SW pairings, there's none. With one dancer I found stunningly beautiful, it was like walking a mine field trying to touch her without her saying it tickled. But she found it strangely pleasant if you held her nipple between your lips, and brushed the tip of you tongue on the tip of her nipple.
@ilbbaicnl, my intention was to learn a little more about the personal experiences of the girls. Just curious about what they go through. Most of the discussion are all about logistics and tactics (where to monger, how to manage girls and crowds). I do have some human interest in the lives of the girls and also in the zeitgeist (if that's the right term) of Tijuana and Mexico at large. I do love the people (the girls especially) and the culture...and the country too and I do intend to spend more time and dollars there. And I do empathize with the people...the girls especially. Anything that I write here that is misconstrued as an exploitative streak of mine....can only be chalked up to my actions in the "heat of the moment"...I am after all a human. But in the end I treat the girls very well....both on a personal and financial level.
@tbot there's type of empathy that's distinct from caring. When you unconsciously sense someone else's discomfort, from facial expressions, muscle tension, breathing etc. It's symptom of being on the autistic spectrum that you wouldn't willfully hurt someone, but don't pick up on it when someone else is uncomfortable or distressed.
The woman who plays you is not the sex worker ramming her tongue into your mouth. It is the GF who says that she doesn't like to fuck her paying clients.
We have had some girls, and this was even more common at the most extreme club, Market St. Cinema, who were as aggressive as they could be in fucking as many guys as possible, and in the front room because it happens faster. And similar around the lunch hour in San Francisco AMPs. They get money, but it is also just how they are.
The hooker who is ramming her tongue into your mouth has a very limited motivation to play you. It is the SO's, the GF's, the wives, the ones who are living with you, who have a far greater motivation to play you.
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+ for one, one would assume most of the girls are not doing this out of enjoyment - it's an exception to find women that wanna/like having sex multiples times a day, let alone w/ strangers, and add to that they may often not be attracted to the person and find him undesirable
+ so most of the girls are not doing this for pleasure, and often do it multiple times a day - so one would assume they'd often prefer for the custy to go as easy as possible and not "fuck them hard" (of course "there are exceptions")
+ there is also the variable that there are women that are innately more physically sensitive and/or less-able to take a pounding
It's a tough-call - the custy wants his pleasure - the girl may often just wanna get thru it to get her $$$ - the csuty is only doing one maybe 2 arribas and maybe leaves The Zona after that; while the girl is likely doing more arribas and multiple days per week weeks/months on end.
I guess it's something to keep in mind - I assume most custies don't necessarily have this in mind since they are focused on having a good time.
I guess a rule-of-thumb would be:
+ try to treat them well and make them comfortable and at ease with you
+ not treat them any harsher than one would treat their S.O.
+ be aware how much fucking they have to do on daily/weekly/monthly basis
But in the end this will often likely be a problem as one would assume most men are naturally more aggressive sexually than the avg woman.
Many (maybe most) escorts are not comfortable with your mouth being anywhere on them. Nipples are made to be sucked on by infants. When a grownup sucks on them, in any way but very delicately, it's likely to be uncomfortable.
Women find penetration less comfortable the less aroused they are. Moving slowly and only penetrating a couple inches is generally more comfortable. But this may mean you'll be slow to cum. Consider letting her finish you with a handjob, it's possible she'll be willing to do it without a condom. A backrub might help her relax "down there". But no two women have the same idea about how to do the perfect backrub.
Err on the side of caution, don't touch a woman's boobs in any way you would not want your testicles to be touched, unless it's very clear she's really OK with more than that.
Wouldn't hurt to bring a big bottle of lube, encourage her to use it, and offer to let her keep the bottle.
Find a clinic that offers licensed counseling services, and see it they can do an assessment of your level of empathy. They might have ways to help you increase you empathy, if need be.
And then a lot of the other girls were Market St. Cinema veterans. For some girls that was the only club they liked to dance at, cause they could do it their way, which was mostly front room and instant FS.
These girls love what they are doing and they are really good at it.
What I think made it hard for them in the beginning was that guys treat them as hookers and just offer money, as though that is all they are about. So initially sure, that would anger them. But eventually they see that the others come to accept it and just to go with it, so doing it the way the guy offers is better than sitting on the side lines.
SJG
Drive My Car - MonaLisa Twins (The Beatles Cover)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKRle7mg…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs79I7d1…
I also note that this sort of talk was the OP's intent.
SJG
I will play along and answer your questions.
Q: Any physical discomfort for sex workers?
A: That would have to be considered in a case by case basis.
Q: Does anyone know from talking to the girls, how bad ( I am sure involuntary sex is only bad) it is for the girls while they are in bed with a guy?
A: I have talked to at least one stripper turned escort who said “I do enjoy sex, so I might as well get paid well for doing it”
Human sexuality is diverse, a single view or social norm can’t dictate what healthy sexuality is for all women or men.
In some other cultures from the past and some modern societies sex work is a valid legal form of employment, in our sexually repressed American society it is not.
In our Over-sexualized and at the same time Sexually-Repressed American culture/society. men and women receive mixed messages about their sexuality. We want women to be objects of sexual desire, yet we expect them to be pure...
The reality is that, just like men, women have a natural and healthy desire to be sexual. Yet women are less likely to reveal their sexual desire. American society encourages women to push their sexual desires down.
Believe it or not there sexworkers who are educated and smart who have consensually and independently chosen sex as a profession.
“In 1968 Xaviera Hollander resigned from her job as a secretary in the Dutch consulate in Manhattan to become a call girl, making $1,000 a night ($7400 today).
A year later, she opened her own brothel, the Vertical Whorehouse, and soon became New York City's leading madam.
In 1971, she was arrested for prostitution by New York Police and forced to leave the United States.
Also in 1971, Hollander published a memoir, The Happy Hooker: My Own Story
A documentary was released in 2008 about Xaviera Hollander, the Happy Hooker: Portrait of a Sexual Revolutionary.
You really need to read the girl. If she is pushing your hand away she is probably uncomfortable. I was sharing a ficha with a girl last week and squeezing her tits, I could here her say "soft soft", that was all I needed to know to relax the pressure.
I do think most of the girls do enjoy the sexual encounters, but I also know from what little conversation I can have with them that the job is tiring.
Agree with the sentiment above, always have some lube and lotion available.
SJG
MonaLisa Twins
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKRle7mg…
The Jeff Healey Band - While My Guitar Gently Weeps (live)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCaL_v2E…
What do the girls in the “wining team” say about the OP questions?
You are trying to make it somehow into a case where they are not presumed to be adults who know what they are doing. That is extremely disrespectful to them.
SJG
I still have fond memories of my ATF escort. She was an ex-dancer, four kids, mid 30s. Seem to feel she was past her prime, but I found her near flawless. I tipped her 40% or so, because it seemed to me the agency she was with had her rate way too low. She was very appreciative of that. We did not mesh personality-wise. She had a very dog-eat-dog philosophy of life. Clearly thought I was a rube, although she didn't come right out and say it. She would allow deep mouth kissing, not easy to find with an escort. She'd let me stay way over the hour. I kissed her on the nipple once, and she told me not to. After several dates, she said she liked being kissed on her boobs, but I was worried she was feeling too appreciative, pushing herself to do things that were unpleasant for her. I would only go in 2 or 3 inches, kept it shallow but deep enough not to queef-load her. But she'd take it all when she was cowgirl, only woman who ever did. We'd hide the salami for 20 to 30 minutes. She remarked once she'd had two orgasms. But I was skeptical, they weren't noticeable.
There was another 19-year-old escort I saw once. She'd had a few, but wasn't wobbly or talking with slurred speach. She kept telling me she knew martial arts, and I better behave, or I was getting beat down. But then she started talking about us civvie dating, and I thought, oh my god, maybe she's got alcohol poisoning. I offered to take her to the emergency room, but she said she was fine. I left her my phone number in case she started to feel bad. So she sent me a dirty text message. But it was my wall phone, so I got a voice message with a computer-generated voice reading me a dirty text message.
Amnesty International disagrees and says that it should be decriminalized.
SJG
Anyways of course it takes a physical toll. Look at high volume hoes like at amps.
Regardless it not easy and not really enjoyable. Of the hoes I know not a single one fucks tricks for any reason other than the money. Its not even sex for them. They call it trapping hustling whatever. Sex is something they do coz they want to.
The high physical volume is what the OP wanted to talk about. Ibllianci introduced the idea of artificial lube. But the sex workers themselves are the ones to know that their limits are.
And as you show, sex workers are just like anybody else, capable of having ordinary relationships. And they want their occupations to be decriminalized.
SJG
What's often a good win-win option with an escort is to ask for a BJ, with you lying on your back, and her with her knees next to your chest. Common for men to like this visual, and all the nice-to-caress places are within reach. Seem like most escorts are not bothered much by BBBJ, relatively little risk of STD transmission. But she'll probably want to finish with an HJ (no CIM).
tbot, why did you start this thread? Are you concerned about the BGs comfort, or just curious?
The woman who plays you is not the sex worker ramming her tongue into your mouth. It is the GF who says that she doesn't like to fuck her paying clients.
We have had some girls, and this was even more common at the most extreme club, Market St. Cinema, who were as aggressive as they could be in fucking as many guys as possible, and in the front room because it happens faster. And similar around the lunch hour in San Francisco AMPs. They get money, but it is also just how they are.
SJG
SJG
For the SO, or the one who can tell you that you are her manager, the amount is open ended.
SJG