Which Dancer is More Valuable?

If I had a long relationship with A I'd never get to meet a B.

I'd go with the dancer with whom I have the more experience.

Along those lines, here is a potential dangerous situation that I now find myself. You all have been reading about me and my ATF and my hopes for her, and us. Lately, the communication frequency has dropped off. Having talked with her, her reasoning makes sense (most of it is resulting from what she is going through - divorce), and she's still asking me to "wait for her", which all sounds promising. However, with all of the reading I've done about RILs, PLs, stripper shit and stripper manipulation, I have some unfounded doubts surfacing. Combined with meeting another dancer at the club, the night before my last hookup with Miss ATF, I'm having a bit of a quandary.

I KNOW my choice should be, and is with my ATF. But a nagging voice is saying "what if you are being played and you could be missing out on something else?". That something else, just happens to be a dancer that works at the same club as Miss ATF - different shifts, at least. Me and "new dancer" had a LOT of chemistry going, and it was arguably one of the hottest dance sessions I've ever had. Is there any chance I could fall for her? NO! Would I want to "date" her? NO! It was purely sexual. At the time, we talked about an OTC in the future - SHE brought it up, after I'd been hinting about it. THAT is where the quandary lies. The thought of which is extremely tempting.

If I were to contact "new dancer" and pursue an OTC with her (a letter is my only means of contacting her at this point), I have ugly visions of Miss ATF somehow seeing or hearing about that letter. I've actually written the letter (a very witty and charming letter, if I don't say so myself) and am poised to send it. However, I can envision "new dancer" thinking my letter was "cute" or perhaps she might get mad about it, either way, she might talk about and/or show the letter to other dancers. SOMEone there, might make the connection and tell Miss ATF, OR worse yet, she might see it personally.

I know, it's somewhat far fetched, but I'm on the precipice of taking that chance. It's now been two weeks since my last phone call from Miss ATF - one of the longest periods of non contact that we've had. I'm a bit worried, but I'm also a bit pissed. I'm giving her until the end of the day today... or tomorrow... and if I still haven't heard from her, the letter might end up in the mail - if I don't chicken out.

I guess one would say that I must not be in love with her if I'm considering an OTC with another dancer, to which I have no answer. I guess it's that element of doubt about how real things are with Miss ATF.... If/when she calls, I will probably dismiss the idea entirely, but in the meantime...

Dancer B. Lust fades. New meat beats old meat.

It's not a question of viewing strippers as commodities. If a favorite musical artist releases a new album that I feel is as good as an earlier album of theirs, which am I more inclined to reach for when I play a CD of theirs? The newer one. I haven't heard it as much. It sounds fresher. There's more that's new to my ears to discover and appreciate. And I definitely don't I view works of art as commodities. The same principle applies with strippers.

Hi FONDL,

Well, A left the business. You found B. Then A came back. Anyway, thank you for your answer. :)

I like the New:) It's always more exciting for me, but it's also nice knowing what to expect.

Hi chandler,

Good comparison. :)

Hi DougS,

Oy Vey. I hope I'm saying that right. :) I guess I'm not much of using fire to fight fire in a relationship. If the first dancer was as important as you stated in your earlier posts, then I wouldn't fool around with a letter to the new hottie.

JaBlake: I'm not "fighting fire with fire". To me, that makes it sound like I would be going after "new dancer" out of spite. It's nothing like that. Whether I met up with "new dancer" or not, doesn't mean I care any less for Miss ATF. If I had more assurances that Miss ATF and I are going down the same path, then I would be less inclined to check out someone else. In fact, I would not be tempted.

With that said, between my last post and THIS post, I received my call from Miss ATF. It's almost like she's reading my posts! [grin]

Soo... after hearing her voice again, I'm back on the right track in my mind with her and am feeling as though things are as they should be. Previously mentioned letter will remain unsent.

You know, it's hard enough to wade through everything involved with having a "relationship" with woman, but when you add in the fact that she's a dancer AND the fact that she's almost 200 miles away, it becomes really difficult.

I should also add that I always liked to have a backup prepped and waiting in the wings. So if the A situation blows up, B is ready to be promoted. That's exactly how I got going with my ATF, she started out as the backup. But much as I like to generalize, when you get to specific situations like this the generalizations no longer apply, each sitaution is unique.

I think answering either dancer A or B shows that you don't see dancers as commodities, because if you did, you wouldn't care which dancer you'd known longer. If they're truly interchangeable, the comparative value you place on the experiences that you've had or that you anticipate having doesn't matter.

Well, answer B indicates more of commodity view, imo. You aren't placing a high premium on your past relationship. As soon as a new high quality dancer arrives you are ready to move on. Sort of like getting a new car every year or so.

Now, I would consider art or music to be commodities. It isn't that a commodity isn't valuable or rare. Just like a super hot dancer could be consider a commodity even if the client is willing to pay big for her time. Her looks may be rare. Or perhaps she has exceptional physical skill.

The key difference is valuing the past relationship that you may have been established with dancer A over a period of time. I don't believe you can have a relationship with a commodity. Those that view dancers as commodities may place a high value on them, but it has nothing to do with shared experiences or meeting mutual needs. The high value could be on looks alone. Or, the high value may be due to pleasing movements. Either way, imo, that is a commodity view of the dancer.

"Dancer B. Lust fades. New meat beats old meat."

Your statement above, imo, sure seems to indicate a commodity view of dancers.

"I KNOW my choice should be, and is with my ATF. But a nagging voice is saying 'what if you are being played and you could be missing out on something else?'"

Yes, it sounded like spite to me. Doesn't mean it was, but you're unhappy she wasn't calling and if she doesn't then you'll mail a letter. She calls so now everything changes, but it shouldn't have, imo. It is sort of like you see her making cow eyes at some guy so your response is to play the field. Spite or no it seems like fighting fire with fire i.e. tit for tat.

Hi FONDL,

This statement: "If I had a long relationship with A I'd never get to meet a B." now looks more like hybole, which is what I thought it was. Anyway, I understood and appreciated your answer.

For me, it just happened that after Dancer A left the industry, Dancer B has successfully replaced her as my new ATF, But I have known both of them for about a year. But I agree with Doug that Dancer B could be too good to be true.

If it were I that had to choose....... I wouldn't!!! I'd let the two dancers dance for all of my attention and affection!

Why choose one over the other??? You aren't marrying one of them, are you? They're only dancers for christ sake. Let them compete against each other for your $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!!! Take the one that GIVES OUT the most! LOL

ONLY!!! Wash your mouth out!!! :) Those are my good buddies that provide almost all my erotic fun.

IOWs, I really like those dancers especially the ones that can make it seem super real. And, despite strippers everywhere that type stripper takes work to find!!! Worse, as I get older they're even harder to find----you don't think many of them would care about my looks and age, do you?

Heck, I've been told that I'm too old and out of shape. But, heck that just has to SS so they can make more money. ;)

LOL@Bones, you know how to work that one baby !! You got all the girls here scraping for you !!! LOL

I have this sort of issue right now. There is a girl I always give some money to, but then there is a new girl who I think is a lot hotter and probably someone I enjoy more. I personally will let the moment decide the next time I go there. Frankly, I think I need them both at the same time.

Jablake, not hyperbole - if A had stayed with me and continued to treat me the way I like, B would have remained forever in the reserves. Yes technically I met her but A would have remained the one I spent most of my time with. The only time I spent with B was when A was either busy or not there.

And to answer your other comment, once A left and B became my steady, if A had then come back I would have ingored her. I don't dump a sure thing for a maybe.

Wow. You would have ignored her? All the good memories wouldn't come surging back?

I especially like to see old players come back to field of battle. Just wish they didn't age. :)

No, flippancy indicates a distaste for mawkishness, not a commodity view, which as I said, wouldn't care how long you've known her.

Jablake, I didn't give you the whole story. To make a long story short, I didn't care for the way A treated me (or anyone else) when she quit - she told everyone in the club including the other dancers that she was moving out of the area to care for her sick father, when in fact she didn't move at all, she just quit dancing. One young guy in particular (not me), who she had been stringing along, was devastated. Her level of deception and dishonesty went way beyond what I consider to be acceptable behavior by a stripper. So yes I would have ignored her.

Jablake, I didn't give you the whole story. To make a long story short, I didn't care for the way A treated me (or anyone else) when she quit - she told everyone in the club including the other dancers that she was moving out of the area to care for her sick father, when in fact she didn't move at all, she just quit dancing. One young guy in particular (not me), who she had been stringing along, was devastated. Her level of deception and dishonesty went way beyond what I consider to be acceptable behavior by a stripper. So yes I would have ignored her.

jablake - My sincere apologies. You know? You are right on my man! I didn't mean to use the text ONLY when I said "they're only dancers". What I meant was they were dancers ONLY trying to make a living. Please forgive me ladies. Didn't mean for it to come out the way it did.

evilcyn - LOL and licks. Yeah, it seems I have about three of your dancers competing for my $A$F$F$E$C$T$I$O$N$. LOL I don't mind spending the money and helping them out. Although my last two bar tabs were higher than ever. Ask Olivia & Ciara what they did to me in the room during one song, see if they admit it. (unless they already told you). It was kind of like... No no no, it's done this way silly!

DandyDan - Go for it my man! Haven't you ever had two dancers at one time? Don't wait too long.

Actually, I consider ALL dancers valuable!! But, since Mr Happy leans to the left, I suppose I would have to pick the dancer to my left! hehe