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Dumbest bumper sticker (non-political)

Avatar for gSteph
gStephThe view from the other side of the room

Pulled up behind an old Dodge Durango at the light. Bumper sticker read “Lifted so my dick don’t drag”.

And I’m, WTF? Yeah, the old beater did look maybe 2” higher than stock. I could get the irony/joke if it were a sky high pickup that needed a step ladder to get into. And I thought, you shouldn’t be sticking your dick through the floorboards of a car (moving or not).

What’s the dumbest bumper sticker you’ve seen? Let’s keep it non-political for general consumption.

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Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive

Not a bumper sticker but a T-shirt
"The older I get, the less of a deterrent a life sentence is"

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Avatar for ElDuderino_AZ
ElDuderino_AZ

Not a bumper sticker, but a vanity plate on a little green car once made me nearly spit out my drink at a stop light:

GODZIRA

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Avatar for shailynn
shailynn

A few good ones:

“I’m so gay I can’t even drive straight”

“I was an honor student, I don’t know what happened”

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Avatar for mike710
mike710

New Orleans used to have a T-shirt that said "Jesus loves you but the rest of us think you're an asshole". Not sold in New Orleans last time I was there but still online.

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Avatar for TheeOSU
TheeOSU

I knew a chick that had a bumper sticker as follows.. Letter A, drawing of penis, number 2, heart.
translation = adicted to love.

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Avatar for TheeOSU
TheeOSU

Ooops, there was a "ted" after the penis and before the 2.

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Avatar for CJKent_band
CJKent_band

Pics or it didn’t happen

:D

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Avatar for misterorange
misterorange

"My other car is a piece of shit too."

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Avatar for gobstopper007
gobstopper007

I thought all the “blank on board” decals that popped up to copy the “baby on board” were just stupid. I did see a Mini Cooper that had a decal that said “Humvee escape pod”. That was pretty funny

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Avatar for gammanu95
gammanu95

FBI: Female Body Inspector

Seen it on hats, t-shirts, etc. I didn't think it was clever the first time I saw it, and hundreds of sightings later I still don't.

The only time I saw it and it made sense was when I saw it on a retiree getting a UVHM lapper. The old-timer was using all five senses to inspect her body, too.

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Avatar for TxVegas
TxVegas

Here are a few:

I like the one with the T-Rex dinosaur that says “If you’re happy and you know it… oh well” (he can’t clap with his little arms)

Be nice to your kids, they will choose your nursing home someday.

If you are going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair.

The classic “I (heart) boobs”

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Avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi

next time wave all your fingers at me.

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Avatar for datinman
datinman

About 5 years ago, some SOB cuts me off. Almost clips the front of my car had I not slammed on my brakes. On the back of his car was a bumper sticker that said "If You're Not Angry, You Haven't Been Paying Attention". I wanted to slap the irony out of him.

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Avatar for loper
loper

I think the dumbest bumper sticker ever, and the most ubiquitous is "baby on board." What the hell, am I supposed to drive differently because there is some slight possibility that there's a baby in your car? Not humorous, not insightful, just annoying.

The funniest I saw I thought was a one-off, but obviously not given TXVegas's comment. If you're going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair. Most intriguing t-shirt, "Yes means yes."

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Avatar for loper
loper

And, most provocative bumper sticker: Don't always believe what you think.

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Avatar for Htxx
Htxx

Saw one recently… “ my kid can beat up your honor student” have to love downriver Michigan I guess. Hee HAWWW

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Avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234

It’s not a funny one - but possibly a learning experience.

I was driving in Florida - back when I was married - and an angry idiot. A small car was in front of me - and it had a pro-life license plate - and a pro-life bumper sticker - and one of those Keep Christ in Christmas magnets. I used to get worked up over the whole pro-life thing - due to some issues in my family history. So I’m thinking who the fuck is this old guy to tell me to Choose Life!!!

So I follow the guy - and I get more angry as I follow! I’m going to tell this guy off when he finally pulls into the Walgreens or Publix - as he has no business telling me about this stuff!

He pulls into the church parking lot - as he is a Catholic priest.

I knew him from going to mass there. My anger and assumptions were very misplaced - and I learned to not run off like an uninformed asshole.

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Avatar for TxVegas
TxVegas

I saw one that had two stick figures and one was clearly eating out the other one that had longhair. It said “I love tuna”

I aging being the dad when your daughters date has that on the side window.

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Avatar for gSteph
gSteph

If you are going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair.

Yeah, I've seen that one - on the back of an old motorhome at the RV repair place. It also had one that said:

"Ride me you pot-bellied stallion"

Then I saw the couple with the motorhome, a smiling, hand holding, affectionate pair, her with long hair, he with a big ol' belly.

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Avatar for skibum609
skibum609

Local sticker: Jesus saves, but Esposito scores on the rebound

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Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive

^ When Esposito went to the Rangers it became "score by Orr, number 4 "

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Avatar for dirtyburt
dirtyburt

My favorite bumper sticker that I had was:
Ted Kennedy’s Car has Killed more People than my Gun.

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