Who wants to play: Stripper Cliches!
gothamyte
from that Adam Westsiiiide of Gotham
Make up your own points or score for yourself
Describe your favorite stripper cliches that you actually experienced
Describe your favorite stripper cliches that you actually experienced
36 comments
1 point for an active college student stripping
5 points for a librarian working the pole
-3 points for this dancer (different). She was hot, but oh so bitchy! Then tells me her boyfriend is a jerk and recently threw her against a wall-but she wasn't hurt other than bruising or something. I'm like ok I don't want dances.
Also had a hot milf not offer VIP towards closing once (I would have gone) because one of her regulars came in. Said she needed money right away because she was moving I think in the morning. It could have been for an overdue storage unit plus a move too (she was high and not making sense). No points! We both lost! I did mention she was really hot right!
I think I saw her once more in the club but was spending Quality time with my favorite dancer at the time. Never saw her again.
She was 35, already had 5 husbands and 4 kids all different baby Daddys -10 points
By the time she hit 40, married and divorced husband #6 and had child #5 -10 points
She was my ATF at one point -40 points
#winning
Uh I don’t think so.
Skinny NJ stripper
- commutes to Paterson clubs from Philly area.
- lots of bad tattoos.
- 2 kids at home - never wanted to know who watches them when she strips.
- husband is possessive and a dead beat - beat her up because she strips.
- stayed with another dancer and was ready to leave husband.
- never really leaves husband - he gets worked up and smacks her around.
- goes back to stay with other dancer. Repeat this several times.
- decides to get new tits.
- husband hates that she makes more money with new tits.
- repeat above steps of smacking around - staying with other dancer...
I’m thinking that’s about 60 points on my bingo card - or in bingo terms I’ve got BIN - just missing the GO part.
Never got her car fixed (saw her several times and got dances and a vip the last time I saw her) This dancer made some serious money but had so much drama (cliche right there). Then she got fired and rumour was she went to a club I really hated. This was December of 2019 or january 2020 so covid shutdowns weren't far behind. Oh well...the good ole days haha.
I knew a stripper that would ride a bus to the club... from Salt Lake City to Las Vegas!!!! When she could afford it she’d fly (back then flight were as low as $59 after fees one way if you would book up to a week in advance, and there were times when she couldn’t afford that. That’s when she took the bus and I think a one way ticket was around $19.
I can’t even begin to count how many of those flights were missed over the years because she was too lazy to make it on time or get out of bed. And for most strippers to plan something a week in advance, UNHEARD OF!!!!
Here's one. Same dancer that forgot to change her oil and ruined her car. I remember her saying that an ex boyfriend was the one who drove it when it wasn't running properly (it wasn't running properly because it needed an oil change!)
I forgot to mention she had a tattoo on her breast...of her ex boyfriends name!
Categories- bad tattoo(s), continual car problems, dip shit boyfriend- even though she claimed now ex boyfriend it counts!
made bank but never had money, got fired (I believe due to the drama she caused as the last time I saw her she was telling me she almost had been fired recently for something haha can't remember the story).
Oh and she drank way too much-but hey at least she wasn't getting Duis (she didn't crash her car, just didn't change the oil so couldn't drive it).
Other one was a nurse. She was telling the truth/actually was one. I only saw her once. Other dancers said she only danced a few nights a month. I soon found out the reason.
She was incredibly hot! One of the doctors she worked for visited the club that night I saw her and he took her VIP for a long time (the 20 a song type of VIP, not per block of time-she probably gave him a deal but had heard that guy would spend around 700 to a thousand in the club just on her- thats why she only worked a few nights a month).
Maybe she didn't work for this guy in the office (he was in the office and she worked for another doctor maybe). But oh she worked for him at least one night (one or two hours they were back there?) a month. She had quite the setup- Got benefits at work plus a few bucks (I think it paid pretty well actually). Then she gave benefits that once a month or whatever and made serious money!
1 point for seeing an active student stripping.
2 points for her being in one of my accounting classes.
3 points for the cliche upsell conversation: What's different in the half hour room?
Her: I can show more of my sensual nature.
Since we were already nose to nipples I figured this was sensual enough.
MILF with kids and husband, but won't take money for fucking OTC.
And of course, "stripper with a heart of gold."
Also, one time 20 years ago, ran into a girl who, 5 or 6 years previously, played on soccer team I coached. So that was weird. And hot.
And yeah the birthday one. I swear some of these dancers have 15 birthdays a year! I never ran into one that told me two different birthdays but I usually would go to the same club and see the same dancer(s) or should say spend time with the same ones. It would be funny if one told me her birthday was next week/month and then I didn't see her for a few months and randomly says on the second visit in the year oh my birthday is next week. That's one I haven't had happen but I'm sure it does.
To go with the cracked phone, how about the I am having trouble pay my phone bill one. Or I really want a new phone just can't afford it meanwhile you know she just made around seven hundred bucks Just that night!
Oh and I coached soccer too. But never had the experience tmojo did. No hottie soccer moms on the most recent teams I coached (around two years ago). There was one on a team around 10 years ago. I wonder what happened with her. Probably saw her on stage at one point in my life. She was too hot not to!
That was back in the day of printed out rosters and some years it would have the parents names. I didn't keep all of the older stuff due to moving. Too bad. Not to stalk, but to look up just for fun (if not a common name). Second thought probably better I didn't. May not have aged well.
I still remember that team went undefeated and her son was an ok player, but not the reason we were so good. So not the best player by any means, but he definitely had the hottest mom! I remember before the last game she thanked me for being a good coach and said her son had a lot of fun during the season and they were so happy because his team had lost all of their games their prior season. But a thanks was where it ended. It should have been a better story. Apologies for rambling on there but holy smokes this mom was really hot!
5 points - Dancer's stage name is her daughter's name.
1 point - Dancer gave a very incredible lap dance, with lots of extras saying, "I don't do this for everyone"
1 point - Then tells you, "I normally do this for more, but ..."
1 point - After the dance ends she says, "Don't tell anyone."
2 points - You hear her tell another customer the exact same thing.
2 points - Tells you that she gets off knowing she's turning so many guys on while on stage.
3 points - Tells you about some celebrity who was in the club last week who got dances from dozens of dancers, including her.
2 points - If she adds, but she prefers giving dances to you.
1 point - Seen a dancer and bouncer get into a fight. Happened many times at the old Harem in Dayton, and several times other places.
10 points - See the bouncer loose, happened once at the Harem in Dayton.
I personally can't justify spending like $200 to fix my phone screen knowing the next time I drop it again in a parking lot that's another $200 if I wish to fix the screen. Nah I'll wait for this phone to be so far gone I have to get another one. Luckily this one was paid for by a generous Florida man.
-was in college
-had warrants
-had no car because my license was suspended
-had a boyfriend who was in prison
I'm at a local, ho-hum mall near my home during the summer where this one pretty girl in street clothes and a li'l crew of giggling girlfriends catches my eye. I find myself staring at her and watching her every move; thinking how come I never meet girls like her.
Finally, after watching her for 20+ min or so, at one point she bends over and a lightbulb knocks me off my feet: it's the stripper from an agency catalog that I'd ordered twice to come to my college suite a year ago during the semester. My college and that stripper agency are both located in a different city. Shocking she's hanging out in my hometown. At the boring ho-hum mall. Later, she walked up a said hello.
It's such a laaaame TV sitcom cliche, but I honestly didn't recognize her with clothes on--until she bent over.
A dancer sees I'm about to dip and asked if I'd give her a ride home. I'm like, sure. Without asking, she invites another dancer along. (1 point.) We leave the club, stop at fast food spot and order drive-thru. (1 point). We agree we're not tired-tired yet, so we 3 head over to the late-late strip club. The dancers show me a short cut route to that club I didn't know about. (1 point). They both work at the late late club and squeeze more money outta me.
She sounds awesome actually. Wow a hot softball player. Well I guess there was one at University of AZ once -a pitcher nonetheless. A looong time ago! I think her name was Jenny Finch or something but that also might have been a name I heard in a club once haha. She may not have aged well,but who knows. She was hot back in the day!
In AZ it seems it's always the waitresses who are knockouts (although I haven't been to the Hiliter in a few years and don't think that was the case there) . Oh and I guess my favorite bartender at my favorite club. She's a milf too! That's a bartender milf, but wow that's a cliche too. A lot of dancer milfs out there!
Usually they don't mention their kids unless you see them quite a few times and make small talk or whatever but I did have a dancer go on and on about her daughter once.
That dancer was a real bitch too! I remember getting one dance and thinking like ok leave now I'm getting a dance with the next dancer regardless because you are annoying as Hell (it was more bullshit than just talking about her daughter). This was a bummer because it was at my favorite club and most dancers were super cool and even the ones that had drama didn't really annoy me or act bitchy but this one sure did!
What did you say to the stripper at the mall? No, not the mall stripper...the stripper you saw at the mall with her giggling girlfriends. Damn sounded funnier in my mind than when I actually wrote it. But anyway what did you say? Just Hello? I want details haha. Cool story!
We exchanged contacts numbers but we didn't hook up again.
I do wonder what became of her...she was down to earth. We're the same age. We were both in college at the time.
According to the catalog from the agency that sent out entertainment and sent her to me (that I still have; I remember at first being disappointed when she showed up because we were the same age and I complained to my college buddies at the time I wanted a woman, someone older; why was I spending my money on someone young like me? But it turned out the agency was right; we clicked. I ordered her 2x) she did dance at a strip club at that time. I recognized a tattoo on her back then and was like, you're in a sorority? She looked alarmed and was like don't tell anyone.
Thinking about it now: hey, didn't they put her picture in a catalog for entertainment and state where she danced? Like noone she knew would recognize her? Ah, well.
Here's a good one though. The dancer who agrees with you way too easily (not about VIP that's good! But random general stuff).
If a game is on or just small talk. Me :my favorite team is (fill in blank). Her "Oh mine too". Then its like cool who is your favorite player?
We know the rest. They might know the most popular player on the team. Then again they might not even know the sport at all.
But a better example. My favorite club. I would arrive like 645 (missing cover at 7) or so. Usually dancers knew me and who I generally spent time with. Night shift start 7 my favorite in about 715-730. But one dancer I told oh I'm just waiting for this dancer (name). Her Oh I love her, she's so nice and so pretty. Didn't get the hint that I would be totally fine waiting for my favorite dancer (which was usually pretty routine!) but I guess finally realized I wasn't interested.
Then my favorite gets in and gets ready. We often would talk about if she has met or is friends with any of the newer dancers I liked (found attractive) -and she already had several friends at the club that would arrive around the same time that we would tip on stage together.
Anyway I ask her later in the night if she's familiar with this other dancer or even met her (she had told me yes regarding other dancers most of them in fact). Anyway this one she's like oh I have never seen her before. I think she must be brand new maybe first night.
It was pretty funny because I told my favorite that she said you are awesome. We both knew what the other dancer was trying to do. It wasn't anything really bad I guess and nothing compared to a lot of the other dancer "cliches" that I have encountered. But good for a laugh for me anyway.
I think I only saw maybe three amateur contests ever and this was one. This was the one that was only truly "amateurs". Other two were new to the club but danced at other clubs. One was a lower end club that brought in dancers from other clubs for one night and gave them cheap or possibly no tip out. They were allowed to give table dances that night also. A few of them told me where they worked and to come check the club/them out. So the club was trying to bring other (hotter) dancers to their club and the " amateurs" were trying to bring the customers to their clubs. Maybe that's why I rarely see an amateur night in AZ nowadays.
Me: "I'm having a lot of fun with you here, but I'd love to have some more fun at my hotel"
Her: "Hmmm ... that sounds like a lot of fun. Here's my number and meet me outside 10 minutes after closing"
When I see her later ITC
Me: "Can't wait to see you later tonight!"
Her" "Oh baby I can't wait either. Just make sure have the cash OK"
10 minutes after closing, waiting outside, parking lot emptying out, texting her
Me: "Hey babes, I'm outside in the XXXX car. Lemme know when you're ready"
5 minutes later text
Me: "Hey, just wondering if we're still going to have some fun with me?"
10 minutes later text
Me: "Well, guess you made other plans. Have a good night, maybe meet up another time"
Next day
Her: "Hey babes, where were you?"
Sigh .... this has happened MANY times.
One of the clubs would have 3 official judges from a local radio show, who would rate them on several categories, and also would give out a set of cards from 7 to 10 to 10 random people in the club rate the dancers, if you didn't think they were at least a 7 then you didn't put a card up. The score was supposed to be taken up from the judges scores and the audience. The audience score was pointless due to most of the drunk customers giving every dancer a 10. I think I was one of the few customers whenever I got one of the sets of cards who ever rated a dancer less than a 9.
I did meet a mother dancer, daughter bartender / shot glass girl and niece dancer once, so I would give that 10 points.
While it hasn't happened yet, I have been going to clubs long enough now, that I suspect I'll eventually end up getting a dance from the granddaughter of one of the various mother-daughter pairs over the years.
If that happens that will be at least a 25 on the PL scale, and at least 100 points if I get a mother, her two daughters, and the two daughters daughters.