Go Fund Me...for murdered Dancer

Here's another website that mentions her:

https://gunmemorial.org/2020/07/18/windy…

I thought she was killed immediately after leaving the party where I met her. Sounds like she was killed in the morning...

"On July 18th, at about 10:10 am, patrol officers were called to the 9200 block of Stuart Lane for a vehicle stopped in the middle of the roadway. When officers arrived, they discovered the victim inside of the vehicle suffering from gunshot wounds. She was pronounced dead on the scene."

https://www.thebaynet.com/articles/0720/…

I just gave $75 anonymously.

Rest in Heaven, sweet Winnie

Where is the money going to?

smallest violin in the world.

I should fucking care? Most gofundme's are cons anyway.

Thoughts and prayers to her family and friends. I always feel a little odd when someone's "loved one" sets up a gofundme account within 24 hours of their death like this. If my cousin was murdered in a case of domestic violence like this I couldn't see myself asking for money the next day.

Valid points all around about the Go Fund Me.

It appears this is the only Go Fund Me for her, so it seems legit to me.

Someone asked who this goes to and it appears her mom and two children. Then again, I don't know anything for certain. I do not know the dancer personally; I've only met her once to my knowledge and had no one told me she passed, I wouldn't know.

While death is sad and cases like this are tragic, accidents and death are facts of life and fortunately there are ways to protect your family and not create burden for them (or TUSCL members).

There are plenty of inexpensive life insurance policies, death benefits, and funeral policies available for all ages.

For example, it is tragic when a firefighter passes away but how do you not have life insurance and a death benefit when you work in a dangerous profession and instead rely on a gofundme Page, carwash, or a fire en asking for donations on the street?

Also, there are many inexpresive funeral services available.

I had a coworker unexpectedly pass away a month ago and her family wanted an expressive funeral and burial and put up a gofundme request, I passed on the principle that if she did not have life insurance and they want an expensive funeral then they should pay for it.

By the way, I'm not twisting anyone's arm to participate in a Go Fund Me. If you notice, in my original post about it, I used the word "consider". If you don't want to support, don't. Nobody says you must.

I just thought / hoped this site, of all places, would maybe have a little sympathy for dancers since we all deal with them more than others. Yes, we do know how trifling dancers as a whole and their lives can be. But, (to me) I thought / hoped a few would open their hearts for something like this.

Again, I'm NOT asking anybody to support. You don't wanna support, don't. All I'm saying is: I hoped that IF folks supported it would be because they didn't need a reason to, they chose to support on their own merits, since all of us know that, hell, the cover charge to get into most strip clubs is $20. Surely, it's not asking a lot to give $20 for something like this when we regularly pay that for strip clubs anyways or for parking.

You know, something like this may have come up before indirectly on here. And I sounded just like anyone. "It's not my affair / not my business. I don't know her." Then it happens to you. And you find yourself posting. So that's why I posted it. That's fine if you don't want to support. I'm not asking you directly to support or react. I'm just posting this because when it comes around to you, (not a family member dying but a dancer that you 'know') and you find yourself in my spot, you'll get it. Again, I don't know this young lady personally--if I met her I only met her once. But she, to me, represents all of the dancers. I can lose $75 to any dancer any night of the week over weak lapdances. Might as well give to a Go Fund Me when one passes. It's only right (for me & my sake. Your sake may be different at this moment.)

My question for myself was how much should I give? Triple digits for some reason seemed a bit much, somehow. $20 or a price of a lapdance (from me) to give seemed a bit too low and condescending to just (for me in my case since I got a lapdance from her) to just give $20. So, $75 seemed about right. Maybe I'll reach out to the family or something later.

Again, it's not often a dancer you just had contact with is dead less than 24 hours later. I've been part of the world of strippers since the early 90s. So, for me, personally, I couldn't just shrug my shoulders and say, "oh well, that's life".

This has me re-thinking things. Like if this happens again to a dancer that this time, I didn't have any contact with whatsoever. I may now support that Go Fund Me, too (after I make sure it's legit; etc).

Before this happened, I wouldn't support anything like this. Now that a dancer has died who I had a very casual one-time lapdance, it makes you think, you know, I gotta be better. I'd lose $100 to a bad dancer anyway on a given week. It's not much of me to ask myself to give when a dancer dies suddenly.

Just my take. You have a different opinion, that's fine.

At the risk of sounding callous, what good is the money going to do her? She's already dead.

Tbh I'm also not especially to send money over to a stripper's Mom who raised a girl to be ok with multiple baby daddies and whatever lifestyle she was living.

To your example above about the meaning of $75, here's the critical difference. When I pay the dancer, it's for my entertainment, period. I don't give a shit what she spends it on because she earned it and her finances are none of my business. When I'm donating money, however, how it's being used matters. When I think about sending cash to the mother who raised a girl who was ok with multiple baby daddies and whatever lifestyle she was leading, I don't get the warm fuzzy feeling of money well spent. Just sayin'.

"If my cousin was murdered in a case of domestic violence like this I couldn't see myself asking for money the next day."

Funerals don't pay for themselves, and GoFundMe is pretty well known for this sort of thing now.

I have only contributed to two gofundme"s. One was for a lifelong friend who was having an experimental stem cell treatment for his MS. It didn't work, of course, because stem cells are bullshit. They actually kill more people than they help by becoming cancerous and metastizing. The other was a neighbor's son who was in a hit and run on his bicycle and comatose in the ICU. His recovery was nothing less than a miracle.

Only people I knew personally. I knew I was throwing away $1500 on my friend, but that's what friends do. The other was needed and deserved. But strangers? No. I don't know you, and I don't owe you.

Again, I am comfortable assuming it is a con, unless I know the subject personally. Why else would you go on an anonymous discussion board trying to drum up donations?

I've supported only one GoFundMe. Last year the neighboring town from me, Elizabeth NJ, sent a team to the Little League World Series. Many parents couldn't afford the cost of their kid participating in the opportunity of a lifetime. I took a night off of strip clubbing and gave $400. They exceeded their goal of $28,000 with a total contribution of almost $34,000. Every kid who made the team, and their parent guardians, were able to make the trip.

The local bus company they hired contributed by providing busses and fuel for free, only had to pay the drivers' salaries, and with the extra money they were able to send a couple bus loads of people who would never have been able to attend, so the little champions had fans to cheer them on.

They played well, but were eliminated half-way through the series. Our entire county was in a frenzy while they were playing. Every sports bar was packed and pro sports might have been on one TV in a corner somewhere. For about a week those kids felt like they were the NY Yankees, and there was a parade for them when they got back.

To me, that is where GoFundMe made a real difference, not just for the kids but for the whole community. Without GoFundMe we'd have been lucky to field half a team.

I'll be honest: nobody told me about the Go Fund Me. I found her Go Fund Me on my own while looking for more information about her online. So, I wasn't told by anybody about the GoFundMe before I pushed it myself to you guys.

I was told by a dancer I know that the fellow 26-year old dancer was murdered and was reminded by her that I had gotten a lapdance with the dancer who died hours before she was killed. This girl who was killed would be the tiny handful of people I can think of off the top of my head who I 'know' as murder victims. I can't say that I personally know of more than 2-3 folks in my life who has been murdered. And to know that I physically was touching and talking with someone who would be brutally murdered hours later, can weigh heavy on a mind after finding out.

Anyway, a dancer showed me the murdered dancer's Facebook page. Maybe it's private, because I couldn't bring up her Facebook page by myself on my phone or laptop. So, the Go Fund Me was the first thing I found on Facebook that I had access to. So I shared it, here. They had some candlelight vigils for her...

Murder. Youth. Domestic Violence. Yes, I guess there are some sick people out here but why would anyone try to scam anybody here with something so serious? Do GoFundMe scams regularly happen on here?

No, you don't 'owe' this deceased girl anything--as you see it. I'm just posting this Go Fund Me because if/when it happens to you, you'll go the same route as I did. As I may have stated above, this--death of a dancer--has come up before on here, indirectly. C'mon, there are a lot of fucked up dancers out here, with a lot of shitty problems and they could die by any means. It's sad. And it's especially heartbreaking when they die by tragedy. When it came up on here before, as dancers do die, and the guy that brought it up, I remember he didn't find a whole ton of sympathetic voices on here. (No one to blame, this may not be the best platform for sympathy). I think she had died by a drug overdose or something. And I was like everybody else and was like, 'hey, I didn't know her personally. That's sad but not my problem...' etc. Then the train comes around your way and you kinda get it that I should have sympathy for anybody. Tragedy is still tragedy. And we have these low-key connections and offbeat friendships with dancers.

Plus, we all throw away so much money at these girls while they're alive. To not toss a dollar when they die is kinda weird. No, I'm not telling nor ordering anyone to participate to a Go Fund Me. Skepticism is healthy. Especially online. But murder and tragedy isn't fun to play with and I wouldn't try to scam folks here into giving.

>At the risk of sounding callous, what good is the money going to do her? She's already dead

The dancer has two very young daughters.

Those daughters are going to grow up one day. I'm sure they'd be grateful to see and know that people they didn't know cared. Imagine this happening to you and looking back and seeing 10 people gave to your deceased mom's Go Fund Me as opposed to 200 people giving to your deceased mom's Go Fund Me. It would give you hope and peace even long after the money was spent.

DISCLAIMER:

Maybe I should also add: recently I was invited to a repass of a different young woman who I never met / don't know (about the same age of the dancer who was killed) died suddenly, too. Never did find out how this different young woman died, nobody said, but I was there to help out though I don't know this deceased girl. So, I was invited to be at the gathering after the funeral, (the repass). And I met this different young woman's elementary school aged daughter who was so poised for her age. And I feel like these children who've been robbed of their mother won't forget who stepped up and gave / helped out.

So, the random deaths of two young women who I don't know either personally, but I end up being touched by their lives, who both didn't reach 27 years of age, probably has me feeling some kind of way. Okay?

Lemme add one last thing:

Again, I'm not telling anybody to give to a Go Fund Me. That's on you if you want to or not.

But, in a post above, I mentioned that I was invited recently to attend a repass / repast, whatever you call it, the gathering of folks after a funeral for a different girl that died who was NOT a dancer. I was there to help out. I met that girl's daughter. And I had this daydream how 30-40 years from now I'd be lying in a hospital bed sick and this same young girl will be an adult taking care of me not knowing who I am. And it'll snap to me and I'll be like, "hey, I was at the repass for your momma, helping out; even though I'm not from your family. Do you remember? You were a young girl and we had a little talk.." And her face lights up. That's my daydream that she would run into a non-family member who helped out after her mom's funeral.

This could happen to you. This dancer who was murdered has 2 daughters who will grow up one day. At that time we'll be old men. Imagine, we're in hospitals or somewhere one day in the future and we're reconnected to these girls and you're able to say honestly, "I heard about your mom, some weirdo posted it online on a website. And I gave because I used to go to see dancers back in the day." And her face lights up. Of course you could lie and try your luck. But it'd be better knowing you truly did it for real and were reconnected decades later.

Again, I'm not telling anyone to give to a Go Fund Me. It's on you. All I said was to consider it.

===> "And we have these low-key connections and offbeat friendships with dancers."

No we do not. This is misplaced notion is what's leading you to personalize this too much. That girl certainly didn't have you or any other customer on her mind when she was gunned down and I guarantee that, were the shoes reversed, her name would not pop up on your gofundme page. You weren't going to be getting any invitations to her family events and birthday parties either. 😉

Sorry, but I (and all of us) am constantly presented with requests for donations for any number of good causes. I have to pick and choose which ones truly deserve my money and, for all the reasons I discussed above, this one doesn't rate.

OP: you are taking this really seriously judging by the the emotional connections you mentioned and just the sheer amount of writing you've done.

For me: logically this isn't a good way to spend my money compared to other things, including charitable causes. emotionally i just don't care: if it's my atf/cf it's one thing. but this is a dancer that some guy on tuscl had 1 dance with.