Extras?
I was at a club the other day and had a good connection to the dancer. I got a dance from her which was hot w decent mileage and sexiness . She said she liked my vibe, while I don’t know if that was bs or not she had no reason to lie. I am going to go back and see her bc I enjoyed the time w her. They have private rooms where I assume there are extras to be had. The My question is, how is a respectful way to ask what extras are allowed? Also how about otc type of stuff? Thanks
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pad3006 said "...she had no reason to lie."
Yes she did. Flattery is the lowest pickable fruit when it comes to getting a customer to spend more money.
"They have private rooms where I assume there are extras to be had."
Don't assume that. Depends on the city and the club (and the dancer). That's why I asked above.
"My question is, how is a respectful way to ask what extras are allowed?"
You don't need to be spy-novel cryptic about it. You will not be the first to ask about extras. Something like, "What kind of fun can we have in VIP?" or even "I'm interested in extras. Is that something you do?"
That opener *should* lead into a discussion of what she's willing to do as well as prices. Sometimes, though, it's the dancer who will be cryptic on the details while also sounding like she'll do whatever you want. Don't fall for that; you'll be disappointed almost always.
If it's a club and/or dancer you don't know, then it's best to say flat out what you want and have her confirm whether or not she does that (and at what cost). If she's reluctant to do that, then either walk away or take the risk knowing that you might get less than you want.
"Also how about otc type of stuff?"
So, assuming that you have a good VIP, at the end you say something like "Would you consider seeing me privately outside the club?" Don't worry. She won't think you're asking her out on a date. If that's something she does, then you'll exchange phone numbers (so have a burner number ready to go). You'll text back and forth to arrange time, place, and pay.
She gave me her number already
I'm not familiar with the culture of NYC clubs. Others may be able to help more.
Agree that this is best if feasible. But there's some "club culture" factors here. In the two clubs I've had the most extras at, no stripper would do extras without getting the money up front -- you might as well be telling him "don't get extras".
Yes, if you can get away with paying after, great. If you pay before, you're definitely taking a risk. But at some clubs, the option is either pay before, or give up on the idea of getting extras.
I think you fail to see the (or know there is a) difference between the strip club world and the real world.
Saying you don't see a reason for a stripper to lie is like saying you don't see a reason for a car salesman to lie.
You have some learning to do about strip clubs else you're a prime candidate to be u$ed and abu$ed.
Lying is part of s stripper's job and how they make their $$$.
If you can't figure out why a stripper has EVERY FUCKING REASON IN THE WORLD TO LIE about this, you are probably incredibly vulnerable to stripper manipulation and hustle. I would do some reading and contemplate this a bit -- seriously, not being snarky, it's for your own protection. This is worrisome.
-->"They have private rooms where I assume there are extras to be had. "
Per Ish, do not assume that. You might get some hint at whether there are extras to be had or not, through reading reviews. Otherwise, you can't know for sure until you try.
-->"how is a respectful way to ask what extras are allowed?"
Per Ish, just ask. IME, as long as your demeanor is respectful, you can be pretty straightforward. The one place I depart from Ish that I strongly advise AGAINST asking in a roundabout way, such as "What kind of fun can we have in VIP?" Strippers practice deliberately deceptive answers to this question -- and a guy who is so naive he can't figure out why a stripper would lie about liking his vibe, is in no way prepared to disentangle this. If you've never done it before, it will seem terrifying and disrespectful, but the fact is, a respectfully asked "I'm interested in extras, would you consider doing that with me?" or something like that. I actually ask much more directly than that, but I'm softening the wording since as a newbie, you'll be incredibly uncomfortable already.
-->"Also how about otc type of stuff?"
I use almost exactly Ish's wording: "Would you consider seeing me privately outside the club?".
Note the idea here, in the way I've phrased both questions: 1. I make this personal -- would you do this "with me", I strongly advise against passive-aggressive wording like "do you do xyz with customers". 2. Make the question clear and direct. If you ask in a vague way ("can we have more fun in the back?") the strippers practice answering in a way that an over-excited newbie will interpret as "yes there are extras", but in actually that's just something in his head.
Your next sentence explains why she would lie. You enjoyed it and are more likely to come back
ISHMAEL: "What kind of fun can we have in VIP?"
DANCER: "The sky is the limit."
ISHMAEL: "Does your sky include X, Y, and Z?"
(And negotiations go from there)
How a dancer responds to that slightly vague question from me will sometimes indicate how she hustles and if I need to be more wary.
I can always be more direct with my follow up questions / comments.
You got it. Now I'm going to pull you back a bit: Yes, "feeling the vibe" was probably a lie, although she may not have been lying that as a customer, you are less repulsive than most. In any case, there's a tendency for some of the weaker guys to get furious about strippers fake-flirting them up this way. The fact is, it is ridiculous to go into a strip club, and pay the stripper to do exactly what you are paying her for -- to put together an hour of fantasy time with an impossibly sexy girl, with the illusion that she's loving it as much as you. You hired her to do that, and she's evidently done a good job, not reason to feel hurt feelings about it. The only problem occurs is if you believe her fake flirting -- you paid her to lie to you, enjoy it at face value, and enjoy the ride as you move towards extras and OTC
Have you googled her number?
Once, at a Los Angeles club, a beautiful sexy Northen California stripper gave me her phone number after a very nice sexy High Mileage lap dance at closing time because we “had chemistry”.
I googled the number and found out she was a high end escort in Northern California...
I texted her and we agreed on a very reasonable price “to make love” as we called it an I went to her in-call hotel and had a nice time.
Saw her a couple of time before she went back north.
Back to your questions:
...how is a respectful way to ask what extras are allowed? Also how about otc type of stuff?
I would text her and said:
“Hi there, I hope you are having a good day.
I hope you remember me, we meet in Sugar Daddy’s when I was looking for a Sugar Baby.
Do you know a beautiful girl (describes her) with a cute smile that would be interesting in or is seeking an arrangement? :)”
Her answer or lack of answer will let you know if extras p4p is a possibility.
Like many have mentioned in tuscl many strippers have profiles in seeking.com and some are willing to try p4p until they can get a long term “arrangement”
Just be clear about what you are looking for and what you can afford and have reasonable expectations.
Let her know you are looking for a deal that is better for her and you, by eliminating the “middle-man” the club you both get more...
“Everybody wants results, but nobody wants to do what they have to do to get them done.”
~ Harold Francis Callahan aka Dirty Harry
~ Inspector with the San Francisco Police Department
I browsed your profile and I am curious about your trip to San Diego and possibly TJ. If you can post something about your experiences there, it would help others to learn from yours.
Thank you.
More often than not, simple works better.
If one is worried about offending a dancer by asking about what's available, then one still doesn't get strip-clubs and one hasn't been able to make the separation b/w bizarro strip-club world and the real-world - a strip-club is a sex-based business, it's not as if one is approaching a random-chick on the street or the Starbucks barista and asking her for sex (although some dudes actually have that kinda game and are able to score but it's def a niche/exception) - asking about sex in a strip-club is more akin to asking in a restaurant if they also do catering; some do, some don't.
One of the best ways to know how to navigate a particular club is to do some pregame analytics - i.e. read some reviews to get a feel for what type of club it is - if reviews point to it being a non-extras clubs, then likely a waste of time asking; if it's an extras club, then ask as you would inquire about a particular service at any business - e.g. if you ordering pizza from a pizza-place, nothing wrong w/ asking if they have Sicilian type pizza, but probably wrong to ask "you guys have fucking Sicilian".
As Subraman mentioned, being direct is the best way to go about it since it's business and $$$ is involved and often significant-$$$ - as has been mentioned, don't expect the dancer "to know what you mean" - most likely she knows what a custy means in an extras-club but many will play-dumb in order to take your $$$ w/o putting out and use the excuse that nothing in particular was agreed to.
Not only does she have every reason to lie, as many others point out.
I'm often lied to by some strippers even when I see zero incentive for them to do so!!!
One example was several years ago, I was traveling on business to a vendor for 4-5 separate week long trips one year. Near my hotel was an area with 4 or 5 clubs within a couple miles and I frequented them while in town. One club I kept going back to had a lady there that spent a lot of time hanging with me every time I was there. And, after 2-3 trips, agreed to an invitation to come to my hotel after the club closed. Of course, she didn't show. A couple weeks later, another trip, see her again, same promise, no show. Meet for coffee on her day off, no show. Keeps agreeing to OTC meeting and no shows, doesn't answer text / phone for hours or days. Next time I see her at the club, she'd spend a bunch of time with me, sometimes spend some with someone else and come back. But then offer to meet me later that night and push me to go home now (10:00 - 11:00 pm) get some sleep so that I'm not too tired when she gets off work (3:00 - 4:00 am)... Actively trying to push me out of the club... And then no shows?
Not the only time I've had strippers give me some bullshit like that. Once in Vegas a lady wanted me to go out and wait in my car for her to come out to me... Ya, Never came out....
No clue WTF the motivation for these lies were. Regardless, you're still gonna get a chain of lies from many of them even with pretty much no understandable motivation.