I sat in the back seat of an old Monte Carlo - outside of the Holland Tunnel - eating a pastrami sandwich - and drinking beer - while a tunnel bunny blew my two friends in the front seats.
I finished my sandwich and beer - and my friends decided to fuck the whore - so I walked to a bodega and got a few more beers - and sat at the curb - drinking a beer - and chatting with a pimp and one of his whores.
Once my buddies finished with the whore - we drove up to Times Square - and watched a live sex show - and then my buddy took a shit behind the car - before we drove down to little Italy for coffee and pastries.
This was back when Times Square was a toilet. The Holland tunnel area was a toilet too. You wouldn’t recognize Times Square if you saw it then versus now.
Just out of college my buddies and I met in Baltimore for Preakness one year. The entire weekend was ratchet but the Friday night was the best. We went downtown to the block, went into some random club, I’m in the restroom and I look up and my drink is fizzing. Yep someone tried to ruffie me. Shortly after just getting there the police came down, shut down the block and ordered everyone to leave. Everyone on the street piled into a pizza joint and 50 people tried to order pizza at the same time. We were all soaked since it was pouring rain. The police actually came inside the pizza shop and kicked us out. A few of my friends were so drunk they refused to leave and taunted the cops until the sober ones of the group straightened them out. Walking down the street we passed a police precinct and half the guys in the group pissed on the steps and the side of the building. We wound up in some sort of Chinese restaurant that turned into a rave and there were about 300 guys and 30 girls inside.
The next morning we had kids tote our beer in garbage cans for $5 from our parking spot to the entrance of Preakness.
Back in the day when people appreciated a good joke, even if it was played on them, doing weird quirky or ratchet things seemed more common. You felt as if only a few of your friends would know and not the entire world with the advent of social media and cameras abound.
I once brought a girl home who insisted on driving. She was too drunk to unlock the breathalyzer lock on her ignition that was forced onto her for previous DUI, so she was trying to flag down strangers in the parking lot to find someone sober to unlock the ignition breathalyzer. Once she found someone I thought we were going to get in an accident the way she drove. Needless to say only my brother and his friend can attest to the credibility of this story, because they were laughing their asses off watching the girl I was with trying to recruit a sober person in the parking lot of the bar. The first two contestants were too drunk.
Actually if we're talking most ratchet things in general and not in the club, then I've got plenty of good ones! In California a lot of the hood rats participate in what is known as a "side show". It's where an intersection is blocked and people drift their cars around and around and block traffic. Occasionally people bring guns and fire them into the air or they bring fireworks!
Nothing crazy but if it was illegal, well I made it all up. Transported fireworks on a train from Chicago to Washington state where we shot them off in the desert.
Once drove into a nuclear power plant trying to find someone to ask for directions. No one around. Decided to leave after I saw no trespassing signs. It didn't look too inviting. Was thinking they need better security. Never saw a cooling tower up close before.that looked interesting. Now I glow in the dark at night and aliens monitor me. That did not happen on this earth. It was a parallel Earth.
Shit, I even stole a bulldozer at a mining pit and drove it off site. So drunk I can’t belive I figured out how to drive it in the dark.
Another time my friends distracted a cab driver out of the car upon our destination, then I took his van and drove it down the block, saw him running after me and sped away from him. After I got enough distance I ditched his cab and ran off behind a house and watched him puffing out of breath, and get into his cab.
I wish we had cameras on our phones back then. I would have been able to create a funny tv show with all the shit I did.
I was in my '77 Impala full of people on a stretch of limited access highway that had a quarter mile landmarks and served as street racing drag strip. I took the Impala and us down there one day, when slowing down, the brakes BLEW when the car was still doing 50 mph, and we're in an out of control car heading into town!!
Speed limit there is 25 mph, still going 50+, I veer of left catty-corner on a Y. Barrelling down street past a couple fast food joints, I pop the curb, jump over some landscaping with a bunch of small rocks and limber, car bouncing, then into and empty parking lot of closed business, I do circles and the emergency brake pedal still had some grab. So I was able to slow the car down until I could stop it.
In college, residence halls were pretty close and a lot of the dorm windows faced each other overlooking common grassy area. One night there was young woman who was pleasuring herself spread eagle facing out with her light on. Since it's night, if anyone was looking out, they'd be able to see it. She's all rubbing herself and getting into it.
You could see people in other dorms turning their lights off. So they could voyeur or creep in on it without being seen. Our room of fraternity brothers also did the same. One of the pre-med guys was like someone should go over there. I bet he could do her and she's let him.
So some reason, I'd thought that was a good idea. I leave and guys are like, no way. On the way down, random dudes are telling me to go see the show (as if I didn't know).
Of course I didn't have a key card to her dorm building. So I waited near the entrance, until someone was going out, then acted like I belonged and she hung the door open for me. I tried to count dorms on the second floor to find hers. I found the door unlocked and knocked as I went in. She was a 5.5 maybe a 6.
Good thing they didn't have camera phones, pornhub, or watchmygf.me back then, lol.
I think that was a trashy thing of me to have done, all round.
-beat my ex up on several occasions, one being when we were in Detroit at 2-3am and his friend was in the car watching so I pulled my sweats down so my ass and g string was showing and twerked in front of his friend to make my ex mad.
-had sex in a car outside the strip club with a guy who worked for one of the agencies during our short fling.
-had sex with a dude in my bed while my sister tried to have sex with a different dude on the floor and my friend tried to fuck around with a dude in a chair in the corner, Idk why we were all in the my room during this.
-piled into my cousin's van with her two kids, a few other cousins, my sister, and a couple friends for a 40min drive to fight a group of girls that kept threatening me. They ran when they saw us and we followed them to their house, they wouldn't come outside and fight me so I kept grabbing ice chunks and throwing them at their windows to get them to come outside. They wouldn't, but they stopped threatening me after that.
-slept alone in Detroit in my car a few times after getting too drunk to drive myself back home to the suburbs.
-used my sister's ID to visit my ex in prison since we were co-defendants and had a no contact order.
-got arrested once and yelled for a half hour at the police station telling them my lawyer is gonna have all their badges and that they're nothing but house slaves, also told a cop I was going to vomit on him and when the intake lady asked if I felt like hurting myself or others I told her I feel like hurting the cop but not to worry because I knew better; smiled for my mugshot.
*most of that all happened between ages 18-21. If LE is reading, I'm just joking.*
- I drank a 40 at a bus stop and sucked a pimp off behind a 7 11.
- Day drinking at the mall.
- Day drinking and getting high at the Venice Oceanfront Walk.
- I had the most ratchet lesbian relationship............. the shit we did. One time we got stoned, got naked and ate chili cheese dogs off each others buts and bodies, cos of the buns get it? ha ha. Well we also ordered pizza and answered the door naked covered in chili, looked pretty nasty Iguess the guy didn't say a word.
- Had to pee real bad once so I did it on a sidewalk and cop drove by really slowly two times, he stared but didn't say anything.
Several times I made a 30 some mile drive from a strip club to my place in about 15 to 17 minutes. Stopped doing that after a car saw me gaining on him from about 2 miles away. Slowed down and got caught by the police. I lost sight of the car. Only other car out on the highway had to be a cop. Been driving slow ever since I was threatened with being arrested. It cost over $400 to hire a lawyer too. That sucked. Recently someone told me the lawyer wanted $800 for just a 16 over speeding ticket. Law breakers all around.
I took drivers Ed and they told me in class the most dangerous driver was the slow driver holding everyone else up. The slow driver would aggravate other drivers so much after a point that other drivers take dangerous risks speeding up to get around. I noticed some people aggravate others on purpose. They slow down where they can't be passed and speed way up when they can be. That's very aggravating if I'm in a hurry.
I used to hang out with a stripper after the club closed. One night I was hanging out apparently with her two female stripper friends from other clubs and their maybe boyfriends. One guy died recently. Yep declared dead by US military in an airplane explosion at Firt Bragg. He said he might not show up for work on time Monday morning since he was dead. I think his night time life style saved his life. He hadnt shown up in his assigned location when the airplane exploded. Actually he was quite pissed off about it all. I never heard a story in the news media about him. I guess it was all kept quiet. I found out after a shooting on base I was visiting strip clubs with special forces based on the sudden slings and injuries I saw. So now I can say we had special strip club operations with special forces and a dead guy. Wondered if one if these guys recognized me when he swooped down over an intersection in his aka he attack helicopter when I stopped at a red light. I swore he had my car on target lock for over half an hour until I stopped at a red light in town and he swooped down and hovered over the light close enough to see him. Did I know him? I didn't think so. Others at the red light probably wondered what was going on. I'm part psychic. I knew he had me on a target lock in his helicopter. Just practicing, goofing off, or playing around.
Well might have exaggerated my exact speed and time. It was a lonely country road that was usually empty late at night that you could see for miles on it. I know law enforcement reads this stuff well because I'm part psychic. Of course I always drive the speed limit now. NSA is likely keeping files on everyone and computers monitor everyone. I definetely got attention after dreaming I had contact with a super advanced AI from the future and popped up a top secret government file after doing a unique search based on my dream. I deleted everything and unplugged my computer. They locked up my connection and computer and I had to reboot. They left the file available to google search though. I think aliens or some unconscious signals are traveling into people's minds like Steve jobs, Elon musk, and others. I get some of the same weird thoughts. It's a bad idea to create artificial intelligence with robot bodies that has no human soul or compassion. You would be creating Cylons who see no reason to spare humans in a war with machines if a human versus robot war ever happened. Going way off topic.
I've been contacted by aliens via telepathy already. Maybe it was just a dream. It was like talking to Alucard. Seemed ok at first then it got weird. One alien was about 37,000 light years away. Now that was long distance. Reptilian or scientist lizard creature which stood upright if the images I received were correct. I much prefer contact with off world human looking females who look good. I don't understand alien languages or alien hieroglyphics though. I believe our governments have been meeting with aliens for decades. They got think tanks that believe it will cause mass chaos to markets and human society if they just sprang all knowledge on us at one time but set up disclosure projects like abovetopsecret web site and have allowed movies about aliens etc for decades now. Even Trump and US presidents may not have full knowledge of secret US services. Someone once accused me on another web site of being part of a US space force so secret that even participants don't remember it. Crazy people there. I think I would know if I was in a secret space force.
35 comments
I finished my sandwich and beer - and my friends decided to fuck the whore - so I walked to a bodega and got a few more beers - and sat at the curb - drinking a beer - and chatting with a pimp and one of his whores.
Once my buddies finished with the whore - we drove up to Times Square - and watched a live sex show - and then my buddy took a shit behind the car - before we drove down to little Italy for coffee and pastries.
This was back when Times Square was a toilet. The Holland tunnel area was a toilet too. You wouldn’t recognize Times Square if you saw it then versus now.
I don’t remember this, but apparently I made insulting remarks about the free pizza (provided by the club) to the bouncer as well.
Just out of college my buddies and I met in Baltimore for Preakness one year. The entire weekend was ratchet but the Friday night was the best. We went downtown to the block, went into some random club, I’m in the restroom and I look up and my drink is fizzing. Yep someone tried to ruffie me. Shortly after just getting there the police came down, shut down the block and ordered everyone to leave. Everyone on the street piled into a pizza joint and 50 people tried to order pizza at the same time. We were all soaked since it was pouring rain. The police actually came inside the pizza shop and kicked us out. A few of my friends were so drunk they refused to leave and taunted the cops until the sober ones of the group straightened them out. Walking down the street we passed a police precinct and half the guys in the group pissed on the steps and the side of the building. We wound up in some sort of Chinese restaurant that turned into a rave and there were about 300 guys and 30 girls inside.
The next morning we had kids tote our beer in garbage cans for $5 from our parking spot to the entrance of Preakness.
Yeah classy weekend.
I once brought a girl home who insisted on driving. She was too drunk to unlock the breathalyzer lock on her ignition that was forced onto her for previous DUI, so she was trying to flag down strangers in the parking lot to find someone sober to unlock the ignition breathalyzer. Once she found someone I thought we were going to get in an accident the way she drove. Needless to say only my brother and his friend can attest to the credibility of this story, because they were laughing their asses off watching the girl I was with trying to recruit a sober person in the parking lot of the bar. The first two contestants were too drunk.
https://youtu.be/gRu7xhiE_P0
Here's a link if you're curious!
If you haven't been to one you HAVE to go! It's such a hoodrat thing to do
wait i do that all the time
I got so drunk in public once I passed out and woke up in the hospital.
I once stole a beer from a sleeping homeless guy. I was about 14 though.
Once drove into a nuclear power plant trying to find someone to ask for directions. No one around. Decided to leave after I saw no trespassing signs. It didn't look too inviting. Was thinking they need better security. Never saw a cooling tower up close before.that looked interesting. Now I glow in the dark at night and aliens monitor me. That did not happen on this earth. It was a parallel Earth.
Another time my friends distracted a cab driver out of the car upon our destination, then I took his van and drove it down the block, saw him running after me and sped away from him. After I got enough distance I ditched his cab and ran off behind a house and watched him puffing out of breath, and get into his cab.
I wish we had cameras on our phones back then. I would have been able to create a funny tv show with all the shit I did.
BTW can’t do half of this shit these days because there ARE cameras everywhere today.
Speed limit there is 25 mph, still going 50+, I veer of left catty-corner on a Y. Barrelling down street past a couple fast food joints, I pop the curb, jump over some landscaping with a bunch of small rocks and limber, car bouncing, then into and empty parking lot of closed business, I do circles and the emergency brake pedal still had some grab. So I was able to slow the car down until I could stop it.
You could see people in other dorms turning their lights off. So they could voyeur or creep in on it without being seen. Our room of fraternity brothers also did the same. One of the pre-med guys was like someone should go over there. I bet he could do her and she's let him.
So some reason, I'd thought that was a good idea. I leave and guys are like, no way. On the way down, random dudes are telling me to go see the show (as if I didn't know).
Of course I didn't have a key card to her dorm building. So I waited near the entrance, until someone was going out, then acted like I belonged and she hung the door open for me. I tried to count dorms on the second floor to find hers. I found the door unlocked and knocked as I went in. She was a 5.5 maybe a 6.
Good thing they didn't have camera phones, pornhub, or watchmygf.me back then, lol.
I think that was a trashy thing of me to have done, all round.
-beat my ex up on several occasions, one being when we were in Detroit at 2-3am and his friend was in the car watching so I pulled my sweats down so my ass and g string was showing and twerked in front of his friend to make my ex mad.
-had sex in a car outside the strip club with a guy who worked for one of the agencies during our short fling.
-had sex with a dude in my bed while my sister tried to have sex with a different dude on the floor and my friend tried to fuck around with a dude in a chair in the corner, Idk why we were all in the my room during this.
-piled into my cousin's van with her two kids, a few other cousins, my sister, and a couple friends for a 40min drive to fight a group of girls that kept threatening me. They ran when they saw us and we followed them to their house, they wouldn't come outside and fight me so I kept grabbing ice chunks and throwing them at their windows to get them to come outside. They wouldn't, but they stopped threatening me after that.
-slept alone in Detroit in my car a few times after getting too drunk to drive myself back home to the suburbs.
-used my sister's ID to visit my ex in prison since we were co-defendants and had a no contact order.
-got arrested once and yelled for a half hour at the police station telling them my lawyer is gonna have all their badges and that they're nothing but house slaves, also told a cop I was going to vomit on him and when the intake lady asked if I felt like hurting myself or others I told her I feel like hurting the cop but not to worry because I knew better; smiled for my mugshot.
*most of that all happened between ages 18-21. If LE is reading, I'm just joking.*
- Day drinking at the mall.
- Day drinking and getting high at the Venice Oceanfront Walk.
- I had the most ratchet lesbian relationship............. the shit we did. One time we got stoned, got naked and ate chili cheese dogs off each others buts and bodies, cos of the buns get it? ha ha. Well we also ordered pizza and answered the door naked covered in chili, looked pretty nasty Iguess the guy didn't say a word.
- Had to pee real bad once so I did it on a sidewalk and cop drove by really slowly two times, he stared but didn't say anything.
I took drivers Ed and they told me in class the most dangerous driver was the slow driver holding everyone else up. The slow driver would aggravate other drivers so much after a point that other drivers take dangerous risks speeding up to get around. I noticed some people aggravate others on purpose. They slow down where they can't be passed and speed way up when they can be. That's very aggravating if I'm in a hurry.
I used to hang out with a stripper after the club closed. One night I was hanging out apparently with her two female stripper friends from other clubs and their maybe boyfriends. One guy died recently. Yep declared dead by US military in an airplane explosion at Firt Bragg. He said he might not show up for work on time Monday morning since he was dead. I think his night time life style saved his life. He hadnt shown up in his assigned location when the airplane exploded. Actually he was quite pissed off about it all. I never heard a story in the news media about him. I guess it was all kept quiet. I found out after a shooting on base I was visiting strip clubs with special forces based on the sudden slings and injuries I saw. So now I can say we had special strip club operations with special forces and a dead guy. Wondered if one if these guys recognized me when he swooped down over an intersection in his aka he attack helicopter when I stopped at a red light. I swore he had my car on target lock for over half an hour until I stopped at a red light in town and he swooped down and hovered over the light close enough to see him. Did I know him? I didn't think so. Others at the red light probably wondered what was going on. I'm part psychic. I knew he had me on a target lock in his helicopter. Just practicing, goofing off, or playing around.