Favorite technique for politely asking them to leave . . .

I tell them "Thanks for stopping by, but I'm waiting on somebody and don't want to waste your time." If she stays, look her in the eye and say "ummm, you're free to go now. You don't have to stick around." with just enough of a smirk to take the dickheaded edge off the delivered statement. ;)

Even though this is the 3,141,592,654th time this has been brought up...

This falls squarely in Subraman’s “don’t be a little bitch” category. If she’s not taking “I won’t be buying anything from you” as a clear indication, it’s time to stop being so exquisitely polite. No need to be rude yet, of course, but waiting for her to leave after a clear statement is wasting both her time and yours.

If they ask if I want company and I have no interest in them, I straight off say no thanks. If they push the issue, I'll say I'm waiting for someone else in a respectful tone. On occasions when they still continue, I say I'm the customer, I chose how I spend my money. I'm not spending money on you, again in a respectful tone. That usually stumps them and drives them away.

Just tell her I'm good right now. Most take the hint. If she wants to sit on my lap, might let her stay longer.
It can take 3 seconds to get rid of a dancer.

If you get desperate , just let out a loud fart and talk about it. Maybe say you had a bean burrito and thank her for staying in the smell. She will appreciate that. Unless she stinks even more and can't smell it. Talk about how your glad that she's in love with you because only a stripper in love would get all stinky and give up dancing for other customers to stay in your stinky smell. Then start asking for her real name and phone number because you know she's in love with you so let's not beat around the bush.

> It's not difficult for a girl to tell if a customer likes her.

Sometimes it is if he plays his cards right.

> Did he tip her on stage?

And her? and her? and her?

> I'm fairly certain that the girls at the grocery store can tell whether or not I like them, though I haven't tried tipping them yet.

You can tell by the smile and spring in their step if they get a little mood boost from the attention. No need for all that other stuff. I would recommend against the "I'm going to masturbate over you later, heh heh heh" look.

> So why do so many girls sit down at my table uninvited when I've done none of the things listed above?

Rent's due and her car is about to get towed. They saw you liked another bitch and they wanted to get to you first.

> If I haven't encouraged the girl to join me I'll still talk to her (she's a human being after all)

+1, but she needs to move on and find an actual mark

> but I don't feel obligated to buy dances or drinks with her, and this should be her first clue to move on.

Yeah, but rent's due and her car is about to get towed and this technique has worked on 180 guys so far.

> If she doesn't move, what do I do next?

If it has gotten to this point, my favorite way to remove my new CB is to "go to the bathroom". It's a controversial tactic, but it seems to have worked well for the women, and in her alone time, she has probably thought it over and moved on to the next possible mark.

> But my favorite is to keep excusing myself to tip girls on stage

Another fine choice, but some CBs are more glued on than others. (note: if you don't want to lose the one you're with, give her one of the dollars you would have tipped and maybe you could have two sitting with you - team building)

> If she hangs on after this, I leave for a different club, and the only thing I've lost is my cover charge.

naw, don't leave! just go to the men's room!

You could even act creepy. Talk about your collection of road kill animals you have stuffed in your back yard shed. Just watch out for all the sharp blades lying around you used to gut the road kill. Tell her not to worry. All the animals are dead except for some rats and cockroaches.

> Just tell her I'm good right now.

Another fine choice!

> Unless she stinks even more and can't smell it.

You should have been in the men's room at this point.
> Thanks for stopping by, but I'm waiting on somebody and don't want to waste your time

I would just say I'm waiting on somebody and omit the "and don't want to waste your time" part or go to the men's room. Sometimes they ask who, to which I like to respond "she knows" or "you'll see"

> If you get desperate , just let out a loud fart and talk about it

So, the men's room didn't work, and now it's a desperation contest... ;) Don't leave, though. Just go sit at the bar.

> You could even act creepy. Talk about your collection of road kill animals you have stuffed in your back yard shed

Probably not a good plan. That could make it into the dressing room.

If she acts serious about wanting to come over, get her information and maybe more if you are lucky. Then later on, say it was all a joke.

> If she acts serious about wanting to come over, get her information and maybe more if you are lucky. Then later on, say it was all a joke.

Too far to the asshole side of the continuum

I don't care what dancers are thinking. Usually at least one will ignore other dancers and approach. If not, there are other clubs in several places. Just start another rumor that you were joking and that you made it big in the stock market. After a while, dancers won't believe any of your stories. Maybe. I had one dancer believing some alien stuff so much that she told other dancers and wanted me to tell the story when I came back the following weekend. I couldn't remember anything. The aliens must have got to me. Plus some beer I drank the prior weekend. That must have been a great story I told. I had 5 dancers wanting to hear the story when I arrived at the club.

@Subraman you see what we have to deal with?

GMD: So, do you really think this is the billion x pi (rounded to nine digits) time this has come up?

OP: "If she hangs on after this, I leave for a different club, and the only thing I've lost is my cover charge." Seriously? You would let a cock blocking dancer run you out of the club? Try growing a pair and you may find your club visits more enjoyable.

Hmmmm. This is a really good question. Maybe you should take her to the back for a few dances and then tip her well so she will then go on her way without any hard feelings.

99% of dancers take hints pretty good. It's only 1% of dancers you need to get rude with if you want them to leave. I try to be nice. I remember one apparently new dancer wanted to dance for me so much, that she felt so rejected that she sat in a corner and never apparoached me nor anyone else that I noticed the next 2 hours that I noticed. I wasn't really rude with her either. I firmly told her no but I guess because she was new and I didn't realize that, instead of walking away to ask me later, she decided to argue with me. Wrong choice. Never going to get dances from arguing with me. When she refused to leave, I got up and sat at the stage. Extreme case. Almost never had a dancer sit at my table and argue with me for 10 or 15 minutes over saying no to her. Club was pretty dead at the time so maybe she felt desperate. It was early though.

If I had to do it over again, knowing she was new and possibly desperate, instead of arguing, I would have said, check back with me in an hour or 2 and maybe I will change my mind. This was a new dancer who didn't know much about dancing apparently. Hopefully I didn't cause her to quit on day one, unless things worked out better for her. She was the only dancer I ever had sit and argue with me out of thousands of dancers after firmly telling her no. I did have one other dancer make me offers after telling her no. That wasn't really arguing. That was trying to entice me.

> Maybe you should take her to the back for a few dances and then tip her well so she will then go on her way without any hard feelings.

Aww, you warm my heart!

> It's only 1% of dancers you need to get rude with if you want them to leave. I

If you level up, you could get to the men's room. Sometimes they even have mints! Depending on how classy the place is, though. Others have ice.

> She was the only dancer I ever had sit and argue with me out of thousands of dancers after firmly telling her no

Tip your bartender. Just the tip. Only the tip.

> I firmly told her no but I guess because she was new and I didn't realize that, instead of walking away to ask me later, she decided to argue with me. Wrong choice. Never going to get dances from arguing with me.

Ladies. No means no. Unless there is a safeword involved.

> I remember one apparently new dancer wanted to dance for me so much, that she felt so rejected that she sat in a corner and never apparoached me nor anyone else that I noticed the next 2 hours that I noticed.

Too far to the asshole side of the continuum

> When she refused to leave, I got up and sat at the stage

It costs less to sit at the bar

> If I had to do it over again, knowing she was new and possibly desperate, instead of arguing, I would have said, check back with me in an hour or 2 and maybe I will change my mind.

you sly dog!

This is what hot women must feel like when the guy can't take a hint lol.

I'm still stunned gmd knows pi

Okay, can't tell if this is an Mtent like persona just recycling the same questions we get every week, but I nevertheless have a strange compulsion to answer. Here's what works for me, I say something like, "I'm not planning on buying any dances from you, but thanks for coming by, have a nice night." It works like a charm, even with pretty aggressive hustlers. I choose this approach because it suits my personality, and just mentally I like being in "confident consumer" mode. Passive aggressive things like, "I'm waiting for someone" "maybe later" etc., make me personally feel like someone who is afraid of the stripper, and just going to the bathroom or running off to stage tip makes me feel even more scared. Meanwhile, most strippers will just take the hint, but sometimes you run into a stripper who was already angry and sadistic and she wants to take it out on you; she'll recognize this behavior for what it is (scared) and start her harassment interview to humiliate you -- which again, is easy to handle for me, but I wonder how someone who is too scared to be direct handles it.

Don't be scared of the stripper, be direct, tell her you're not buying from her, have a nice night. I will say that some of you seem to be subject to a level of hustle and aggression from strippers that I am not, by virtue of the fact that I seek out slower low hustle clubs/shifts; so perhaps doing it my way might not work with the hyper-aggressive Cubans some of you describe? I've never run into one, so I dunno

""If she hangs on after this, I leave for a different club, and the only thing I've lost is my cover charge." Seriously? You would let a cock blocking dancer run you out of the club? Try growing a pair and you may find your club visits more enjoyable."

doctorevil - please note that I also wrote "It really depends on the girl, the club, how busy it is, whether or not I know any of the other girls, etc" so I wouldn't up and leave in every situation.

I equate leaving a strip club because the girls that night don't get it with not going back to a restaurant with good food because the service sucked. It's up to them to deliver on all ends for a complete experience, and I'll shop someplace else if they don't. I'm there to relax, and if I'm able to do so I'm all in. If the girls I don't want to relax with can't take a polite hint (followed by a firmer hint) and my efforts to relax feel more like the chore of swatting away flies that keep coming back, then I'm perfectly content to go relax someplace else. There are plenty of options where I live.

"I will say that some of you seem to be subject to a level of hustle and aggression from strippers that I am not."

I think subraman makes a good point in that it depends on where you club. I see differences all the time when I travel. I have no problem telling the stripper no. I've done it hundreds of times. If she wants to try harder and rub all over me only to hear no again, that's her decision. But it can reach a point where it's more of a chore for the customer than it needs to be. My question is more about being irritated by futile attempts, rather than being scared of the stripper. I'll walk down the street to a different club before I go hide in the men's room if all I'm getting that night is "but I give the best lap dances ever". Sure she does.

orionsmith - I like your approach. I would club with you any day of the week.

> Passive aggressive things like, "I'm waiting for someone" "maybe later" etc.,

When I say I'm waiting for someone, it's because I have one or a few in mind or I'm waiting to see the rest of the lineup and then decide.

> and just going to the bathroom or running off to stage tip makes me feel even more scared.

It's in the swagger with your stage tip. If you go up and actually enjoy it and ask the stripper about her new shoes.... Miss thirstay will probably walk away thinking it's not her.

"It's in the swagger with your stage tip. If you go up and actually enjoy it and ask the stripper about her new shoes.... Miss thirstay will probably walk away thinking it's not her."

I like this. Body language should tell these girls a lot. Are you being more open with the girl on stage than you are with them . . .and you're also tipping the girl on stage after you didn't buy any dances or drinks with the cock block at your table. At a lot of clubs this is more than enough.

If they can't take the hint, I'm not gonna get nasty. I just say "Hey look honestly your just not my type, I'm looking for something else, if I'm spending money, I'm very specific on what I want" something like that. Some of you guys are dickheads haha

"I'm not buying any dances from you tonight." or some variation in a friendly, direct manner usually gets the point across 99.9% of the time.

I think the honest approach has it's virtues, but when I'm too direct I feel like a hypocrite within the realm of strip clubbing.

We're not there for honesty. When we walk into a club the girls are under the impression that we want them to pretend to be more into us than they really are, for money of course. This just goes without saying. But if I don't want a particular girl to provide this charade, should I be completely honest about why I don't want her to? I think this subjects the girls to an unfair double standard, in that they need to be flirtatious and pretend to be into the guy until he gives her a real reason why he's not into her. What a fucked up work environment.

At the same time, if a customer is a dick, the girl will stop pretending to be into him tell him he's a dick. So at extreme levels honesty does (and should) come out, and there is likewise a point where the customer should be blunt and honest with the girl who pretends not to get it.

I guess what I'm really asking is how do you find the equilibrium point where honesty (inside of a strip club) becomes appropriate? Or, would you just rather club someplace where it's easier to abandon honesty at the door? I prefer the latter.

I’ve been saying this for years now, How in the hell is a twenty something girl in her underwear intimidating, fuckin grow a pair!

^ @25, You just don't get it. They have boobs. And firm butts. How can you not be intimidated?

@25

The guys who have trouble with these women, have trouble with women in their real lives. It doesn't go away once they enter the SC.

Who's intimidated?

Depending on her approach, it's either irritating or just a passing blib on the road to a girl with the firm butt that flagooner is talking about.

-->"At the same time, if a customer is a dick, the girl will stop pretending to be into him tell him he's a dick."

a friendly "I'm not buying dances from you tonight, thanks for stopping by" is not being a dick. To the extent that it does seem like being a dick, or impolite, or ungentlemanly, that is 100% is your head. The girls would rather hear that than "maybe later" or be subject to passive aggressive actions. Don't get me wrong, I was where you are, for many many years of my SCing career -- confused over what constitutes being impolite in a strip club. Most strippers will tell you that they'd prefer to be told in a direct but respectful way that they're wasting their time, than have to deal with "maybe laters". Hell, nicespice said that in a thread just yesterday. Direct = polite, and shows the most respect towards the girl. Passive aggressive and coy = not nice, not respectful towards the stripper.

-->"and there is likewise a point where the customer should be blunt and honest with the girl who pretends not to get it."

The point where a customer should be blunt and honest -- but polite and respectful -- is right from the beginning. Better for the stripper, but far more importantly, better for me as the customer

@flagooner don’t patronize me you pussy, fruitcup eater ;)

Just tell them

"Yeah Im not interested"
"Youre not my type"

I started almost the same exact topic 2 weeks ago. I like talking to people in general, it's a habit, but quickly learned how useless this is in a strip club. There really is no polite way, it's a strip club - I am there to either oggle or get dances and I only want to talk to specific girls. If a club was filled with mostly girls I like the look of then I will talk to whoever but usually a club only has 1 in 4 or less I want to talk to or interact with then most of the time a girl sitting down right away is just cockblocking me. I believe they know they are doing this and figure they can eventually talk you into opening your wallet.

I have no since started telling them right away that I'm going to waste their time if they want a dance of any kind. It works perfectly fine. Some seem to get confused or offended, I don't care any more.

Subraman - my statement was in regard to the responders suggesting I tell the girl she's not my **type**, which is very different than saying I'm not buying dances from her. It's also the reason I asked "should I be completely honest about **why** I don't want her to?" I believe the answer is no. She doesn't really need to know why I don't want the dance, and I don't really care to share it with her.

If you re-read what I wrote you'll see that in this scenario I've already declined dances, and though I never mentioned how I declined the dances, the passive aggressive "maybe later" is the assumption the many posters want to go with, depending on their motivation for responding.

> it's virtues

its

shit!

-->" It's also the reason I asked "should I be completely honest about **why** I don't want her to?" I believe the answer is no. She doesn't really need to know why I don't want the dance, and I don't really care to share it with her. "

Agree, misinterpreted that... I'll answer your question differently: it's none of her business why you are declining, and explaining it to her can do no good at all, and can trigger a backlash or hurt her feelings. But her feelings aren't as much an issue here, as the fact that you owe her no explanation, IMO.

AGain, IMO, no matter how much she can't take a hint, or sticks around after you've declined a dance, a straightforward "I'm not getting dances from you" sends them packing. Although to be honest, unless she just walked up and "wannadance" is the first thing out of her mouth, for me, I usually send them away before they get to the point that they ask for a dance. I don't like to let her sit with me for 10 minutes if I know I won't be buying, that's what I think is rude.

@doctorevil: Yes. Yes, I do.

Subraman - I've told girls "I'm not getting dances tonight" and they still stick around and try harder, which is the point of my irritation. At that point, is the onus on me to persistently reiterate? If it is, I'm going to relax someplace else. It's the same as if I tell me waitress I don't want a beer and she keeps asking. I simply don't care to put up with it.

But I have not told a girl "I'm not getting dances **from you**" which changes the meaning. I would consider this a subtle difference, but it does get the point across that it's her I don't want without having to tell her why.

Depending on how busy it is, I let her know within 5-10 minutes which way I'm going. There are certain times and with certain dancers I enjoy the conversation but don't want dances with her. In these cases I give her the choice to either stay or go.

I go with “I’m good right now” or “I’m not getting dances tonight”.

ABT posted: If you re-read what I wrote you'll see that in this scenario I've already declined dances, and though I never mentioned how I declined the dances, the passive aggressive "maybe later" is the assumption the many posters want to go with, depending on their motivation for responding."

Hmm. Why do you think that is?

ABT first paragraph: "(no real question)"

ABT second paragraph: "(no real question)"

So we're already read this far and haven't got to *it* yet. I can see the dancers' frustrations ...

ABT asked: "If I haven't encouraged the girl to join me I'll still talk to her (she's a human being after all), but I don't feel obligated to buy dances or drinks with her, and this should be her first clue to move on. If she doesn't move, what do I do next?"

Never said that you told her that you declined dances. So we told you how. We're not mind readers, BTA. "I'm not buying any dances from you tonight." or some variation in a friendly, direct manner usually gets the point across 99.9% of the time.

BTA asked: "But my favorite is to keep excusing myself to tip girls on stage, and then when I return to my table to I tell the cock-block who won't go away how nice the other girl was to me last time even though I hardly spent any many. If she hangs on after this, I leave for a different club, and the only thing I've lost is my cover charge.

What do you guys do?"

I read this and assumed that going up to stage was the first thing you did. We;re not mind readers.

Now, this scenario did happen to me one time. And what I did was notice the bitch was still at my table, so I went up another girl -- it doesn't matter if she's on stage or standing in the corner by herself. I tip her some money and tell her to come sit with me. She follows me and I sit down with her in front of the first girl and finally her claws release. ;)

> I tell the girl she's not my **type*

+1

it's a self-description

"But I have not told a girl "I'm not getting dances **from you**" which changes the meaning. I would consider this a subtle difference, but it does get the point across that it's her I don't want without having to tell her why."

You need to add the "...from you part." Many of us were explicit here.

Dominic77 - your strip club experiences may be very different from mine because the girls assume I have money. This explains why girls decide to get the point with some customers but not others.

-->"I've told girls "I'm not getting dances tonight" "

Like Dominic, and nearly everyone else on he thread who uses this approach, I say "I'm not getting dances FROM YOU tonight". I think it matters -- If I leave out the "From you", I've had girls start to lecture me that if I'm not buying dances I should tip, or start up a conversation about what I like to do since I don't buy dances, etc

You keep adding on details, as if you're trying to direct us to "well then, you have to use the bathroom trick, or leave the club entirely" because that's the answer you want to hear... but "I'm not buying dances from you tonight" pretty much just works, even the few times I do go to high hustle clubs (e.g., Vegas). If it weren't working, I might re-examining my body language and demeanor to see if I'm giving off scared vibes, or whether I should be going to different clubs, not thinking up more strategies. I can see it happening once in a long while with a hyper-aggressive girl, but if it's happening a lot, it might be my problem in how I'm interacting with the girls

"You keep adding on details"

Actually, what I did is share the approach that I prefer to use and ask others what they do. Many viewed this as an opportunity to critique my approach, which isn't what the question asks. But in an effort to accommodate their remarks I did provide additional context that could arise in a variety of situations (what you refer to as "You keep adding on details").

If I leave out the "From you", I've had girls start to lecture me that if I'm not buying dances I should tip, or start up a conversation about what I like to do since I don't buy dances, etc"

I would just explain to them that I've been to a strip club before and understand how it works. If there's a lecture involved I'd probably excuse myself to another seat.

I’ll give you a technique that often works for me I’m never rude or mean unless it’s necessary, very simply say not now but I f decide to I’ll come get you, it’s direct to the point and most get the message, the very few that don’t get it I just ignore and either talk to the bartender or ask another dancer to sit down in your seat and then Talk to the other dancer untill the message sinks in. Maybe 3-4 times in over 30 years of going to strip clubs have I ever had to get Ryder than that.

"or whether I should be going to different clubs" pretty much equals "If she hangs on after this, I leave for a different club" doesn't it?

^Ryder = ruder

"very simply say not now but I f decide to I’ll come get you"

I like this one. It leaves the options open. In fact, I've had girls say "Come get me if you change your mind" and I think this is the best approach that the girls can be taking. It leaves the possibilities open without being a continued nuisance to the customer.

I think that's a fine approach, and I've used it sometimes, too.

Ironically, I've seen massive rants on SW about guys who say this! SW strippers are FURIOUS that you are making a statement that puts you in control of the interaction (YOU will come get her, IF you're interested). You can't believe how furious some of the girls are over it. It's one of the many wonders of stripperweb, and why I'll never stop reading it -- it's an amazing look into some very odd psychologies, who have built this weird consensus reality together, with all kinds of odd rules you'd never suspect.

In fact, I think "Come get me if you change your mind" is the best thing a girl can do to eventually sell that dance. Depending on the selection available that night, I've actually gone back to some of these girls. But if I say "I'm not getting dances tonight" and I'm accosted with the type of lecture that subraman would expect, I'm not giving the girl a penny.

Subraman - would you agree that the girl saying "Come get me if you change your mind" allows ther to leave with a feeling of some control, rather than the customer offering to come get her if he changes his mind?

^ Ah but infuriating as it might be the girl whom I decide to favor banks, the one I favor usually loves me at least for the purposes of that visit. iDGAF what they think over there, it’s my money and untill I hand it over I’m in control.

Been there: sure, makes sense to me that "come get me if you change your mind" gives her a sense of control. Note that I don't what SW girls think, they've constructed a parallel strip club universe that has little to do with reality (or at least the strip clubs I go to). In a million years, I never would have guessed any stripper would get insulted by "not now but I'll come get you if I change my mind", but I drastically underestimate how desperately some strippers look for a reason to be insulted, or more likely, rationalize and justify their child-like inability to control their own anger and frustration.

But I digress... Yes, that seems like a fine way to feel like she's in control lol... and I welcome her invitation to change my mind later, because sometimes, I do.

The best way I've found to quickly send them on their way is I tell them my name is Lloyd and that I'm from San Jose then watch as their hustler smile morphs into a distressed look. The next thing I know is they're fully dressed sprinting from the dressing room to the nearest exit. Works every time, if I see them during a following club visit they keep their distance from me. :D

gmd,

You sure? I had it at 3,141,592,657.

I'm not in a hury

@Clubber, no those other three you’re thinking of are the one where the girl falls asleep at your table.

"I'm waiting on a girl" is my go to. They know its bullshit. If its just too early cause I havent settled in yet I might at "but I'll be here so dont forget me".

"Oh my, aren't you a lovely creature. Though I am tempted to abandon my plans t explore the mysteries you have to offer, I have already paid for entertainment this evening. Perhaps another time my love? Here, let provide you with refreshment ... "

buy her a drink, pay her to leave. (i know, it's like giving into extortion right?)

I'd cut a fart she'd leave!

With all these passive-aggressive and ambiguous responses, it’s no wonder some of you have to put up with strippers hanging on.

I use to have this problem but then I started telling them I'm broke. Nothing gets a stripper to leave faster than a broke customer XD

The real problem is when they see me getting a dance from another stripper after I told them I had no money. Eh, oh well.

^Lol, you’re far from the only customer that does this.

^ I knew I wasn't the only one, lol.

Many of these "too scared to tell the truth, so I'll make something up" approaches, like "I'm broke", just go against my grain because I find my SC trips much more fun when I'm confident and assertive as far as pursuing my own desires. But it's also the case that sometimes these types of excuses get really negative reactions -- I've personally seen an aggressive stripper rip into a guy who claimed he was broke ("well what are you doing at a strip club? We're not working for free"), just to take out her frustrations and humiliate him a bit ... and stripperweb is full of stories about how the strippers like to humiliate the "broke" guys. Just something to be aware of, and maybe factor in, if you're already a bit too timid to just ask her to move on, I have to imagine that sort of conflict is not pleasant.

I still think being direct and just saying no is the best policy dont waste her timenor yours

@ABT
Okay. strap on your crash test helmet good and tight. Good! 3 .. 2.. 1

@ABT,
Subraman is sort of like the Philosopher of Tuscl. He gives very good newbie advice. Read his articles about not being a little baby bitch in the sc. they’re a good read, even for veterans.

Like you, when my earlier days, I used to keep different ways to decline dances in my pocket, thinking that some worked better in some scenarios than others. But really when I thought something wasn’t working, it was more of the fact os declining the dance, twice. Firm. That did it

It’s something like:
SHE: (she asked for a dance)
ME: (I make eye contact, lean in, with a friendly smile, i say,)
ME: No, thank you.
SHE: (she may still push)
ME: I’ll be honest with you, I’m not buying any dances from you tonight.
-or -
ME: No, thank you.
-or-
ME: Nah. I’ve just not feeling it tonight.

I may embellish it about I wishing she have a good evening tonight. (which I am sincerely wishing for her!)

1) I don’t own her an explanation. In fact, giving an explanation may cause her inner saleswoman to try to convert a NO to a YES. I need that like I need a hole in my head.

2) The reason I decline is never about HER.

3) The reason is always about ME. “I’m not feeling it tonight” or “I’m not buying a dance from you.” or “I’m just settling in and I haven’t even had my first drink tonight.” This let’s her know that you, let me restate that, YOU have the courage to say what you want and you have your standards and keep to them. (women respect that, even civvies!) I just don’t care for PLs that neg a dancer by saying she’s not pretty enough or she’s too fat or whatever to put it on her. I always put it on me. It’s my money and my call. I’m out for my entertainment. I’m not dating or marrying this chick.

4) Always, as a man, be open and receptive as well as calm. Those are 3 attractive qualities. Those are masculine qualities. She’s respect your answer more if you convey that in how you come across.


@BTA posted: “Dominic77 - your strip club experiences may be very different from mine because the girls assume I have money. “

^^^ They assume I have money, too. So that’s not the case here. I never give the “I’m out of money line”. I don’t have to. Not even when I’m out of money. I notice you like to shift blame. You start your arguments from the point that you are 100% right and everyone else: ME, the dancers, the veterans here, are all wrong and we have the problem until you’ve convinced us you’re right. That’s what I noticed from your recent discussions you started this week.

@Subraman posted: “You keep adding on details, as if you're trying to direct us to "well then, you have to use the bathroom trick, or leave the club entirely" because that's the answer you want to hear…”

^^^ Basically, @BTA is presenting an XY problem. Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XY_problem He’s having us solve Y thinking he’s already solved X himself. But the problem is still X.

@BTA,
Why I no longer use the extra lines for declining dances — one for each scenario — is because I listened to experiences SC goes, like @Subraman and @rickdugan — as well as dancers on blogs and StripperWeb — in that, the only line you really need to decline dances is, “No, thank you.” Inf act anything said after no thank you is said by the first loser. That would be YOU if you embellish or HER if she tries to change your mind.

In fact, having a different phrase was all in my head. It wasn’t the second line that changed her mind. It was me fucking declining the dance firmly a second time. The dancers know what no thank you means. She’s just being sharply or thirty or desperate in trying to bully you into changing your mind. Its that’s the case, then it doesn’t really matter what you said. She either not believing you or not respecting you. And some dancers are like that, especially on day shift where the customer to dancer ratio doesn’t bode well for her earnings if she’s getting declined by every customer. Otherwise, she’s never make any money.

Really what I’m saying here, is @Subraman and @rickdugan were correct. A simple no, thank you is all you need. But you need to deliver it with the correct body language that is unambiguous:

It’s something like:
(she asked for a dance)
(I make eye contact, lean in, with a friendly smile, i say,)
No, thank you.
(Wry smile from me).

@BTA posted: "very simply say not now but I f decide to I’ll come get you”
@Subraman posted: “ironically, I've seen massive rants on SW about guys who say this! SW strippers are FURIOUS that you are making a statement that puts you in control of the interaction (YOU will come get her, IF you're interested). You can't believe how furious some of the girls are over it. It's one of the many wonders of stripperweb, and why I'll never stop reading it -- it's an amazing look into some very odd psychologies”

^^^ I generally don’t use that line. In it’s place I use @gammanu95’s “Nah, I’m just not feeling it right now.” Maybe I’m being to bleeding heart here, but I’ve read and posted in some of those SW discussions. And if that line “No … I’m come get you” makes their blood boil, I can use something else. It’s supposed to be fun. And I like to be human with empathy.

With that said, they’re a bunch of cunts over there. They’re pretty anti-customer which is what drove me back here to Tuscl. So I may go back to using it. But for now, I don’t need it.

@BTA, I think you are reading too much into it. I’ve used my no thank you line, and later if I change my mind and what dances, they never have any problems accepting my money. I think you are reading TOO MUCH into it and the words. What you are saying is a civilian concern with normal dating. Even the SW girls would call this a civilian concern. I think they’d rather know a firm no then a “maybe later” that’s really a firm no, just repackaged to make you and her feel better about it.

They’re at work. They know the score. It's respectful because you're not wasting her time or your time.

Sun Tzu and the Lesson of the Concubines:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brV2hz5v…

This is applicable here. These principles work with your problem. The challenge was could Sun Tzu do what he claims and turn anyone into a soldier? @Subraman is Sun Tzu. And newbies SC goers are the concubines.

1) If the orders are not clear and the commands are not explicit, it is the commander's fault.

2) But if the orders are clear and the commands are not obeyed -- and my orders have been clear -- then it is the fault of the subordinates that my commands are not obeyed.