Need advice on OTC
wyohio
New York
I regularly travel for work, often to the same city. I work long hours and rarely go out at night when I'm on the road, but once or twice a month I'll hit a club. I was in my regular city last week and decided to go out. I chose the sister club of a place I'd been to before, get there around 10:30p pay the cover and grab a drink. I'm approached by an attractive dancer in her late 20's, early 30's, tallish and lean with dark hair and the kind of eastern european face that's not quite beautiful, but striking and very attractive. We talk for a while and have a good rapport, she fairly smoothly gives all the right compliments and I ask her if she wants to do some dances. We go to the dance area, which is not private and is packed, so we end up grabbing a spot near the entrance to the area which is very well lit and has everyone walking by and I'm thinking, this will be quick and uneventful. She gets on my lap and starts with a slow, high contact grind, which is nice, and then takes off her top and has a great set of C's for a very lean girl. She leans in and has her face very near to mine in an incredibly sensual way and starts kissing me and telling me how attracted she is to me. I'm in my early 40's, tall, in decent shape and not bad looking, but I've been around enough strippers to know this is part of the sale. Of course at this point I don't care as she's grinding on my lap and putting my hands on her chest as we have a full makeout session. We go on like this for a while with the added bonus of her grabbing at my junk through my underwear (she's asked me to take off my belt and unbutton my pants) but it's clear that nothing else is going to happen in this spot, the place is still packed and I very rarely LDK from friction, so after a while I thank her for a great time and pay her (I legitimately think she signficantly undercharged me for the number of songs, this club charges a very high door fee and drink charges and dancers keep all their dance money). She thanks me for an 'amazing time', tells me again how attracted she is to me and asks if I'm leaving. I tell her I had fun and that I'll probably stick around for a while.
I freshen up in the bathroom then talk to a cute, younger dancer (maybe 20) and get some dances from her. While getting dances from girl #2, girl #1 walks by with a customer and makes sure to catch my eye and give me a very sweet smile. I should have cut girl #2 off immediately, as she was more interested in talking than dancing, but went on for a while and she makes up for the other girl by signficantly overcounting on dances, but I wasn't going to argue so I pay her, thinking in my mind that I really need to start counting or at least look at my phone for the starting time.
I walk back out, grab a drink and a few minutes later girl #1 finds me, gives me a big smile and says "were you having fun? it seemed like a lot more talking than dancing going on". I crack up and tell her it was ok, but she was definately more fun. She asks if I have to go or can hang out for a while. It's now past 12:30 and I should really be going, but I tell her sure, I can hang out for a bit and ask her how long she's staying. She tells me she always stays until close at 3 and then takes the train home, which takes her about an hour. She had earlier told me that she has a day job in an office, which doesn't seem to hold true given that's she'll be getting home at 4a on a Wednesday, but I let it go. We have a really great rapport, very natural, which I assume just means that she's really good at her job. She asks me if I want to do more dances and I say I'm not sure, that she drove me crazy last time and there's only so much we can do. She says that we'll find a darker spot in the back and there's only so much we can do with no privacy, but we'll have a good time. I was really enjoying myself with her so I said sure and we headed back. The back where it's darker is still packed, but we hang out and talk for a bit and a spot opens up. She immediately has me take off my belt and open my pants button and climbs on my lap and starts another makeout session. She's rubbing herself on me in just the right way and although I'm sure there was some acting involved, it becomes pretty clear that she's having a good time too. I tell her that I'm sure she gets this all the time, but does she want to get out of there and she says yes, absolutely. Having no experience with this I'm shocked by the answer and ask her how long she needs to get her stuff and head out. She tells me that it's past 1 and she's worried she'll miss her train and an Uber would be very far and expensive. I told her that's not a problem, I have no problem paying for it. She hesitates and I ask if there's an issue with her taking an Uber home and she says "yes, I have to tell you the truth, I'm married, but I'm very attracted to you". She asks if I'm married too and I tell her yes, I am. She says "this will be perfect, I'm 34, I have two kids and I don't want anything at home to change, but I love sex and am incredibly attracted to you, we could have fun together on nights before I go in to work, but we have to plan it in advance." She asks me to write my number on a dollar bill and give it to her and she will text me. She says she is nervous about texting on her phone and asks if she thinks she could get a second phone without showing an ID, but for now will text me her email address and we can communicate that way. I have a cell phone that I use just for work so I give her that number, uncertain as to whether I'd hear from her.
I get back to my hotel around 2 and at 2:45 she texts me her email address and thanks me for a great time, saying she can't wait to see me and hang out. I respond back saying I got her text, I had fun too and that I'd email her.
The next evening on my way to the airport I set up a new email address and made 'horrible mistake #1', where out of exhaustion and stupidity, I register for the email address using my real name, not realizing that the name would show up in addition to the address when I sent it. So I send her a note saying use this email address and I'll see you soon. After I emailed her, I emailed a test to my work email from the new account to test it (why I didn't do that previously I have no idea) and realize that my first and last name show up along with the email address. My name is not very common and I've done some media spots, etc. so when you Google my name you get work profiles and pictures of me, so there's no chance of her not knowing who I am and given my work profiles, knowing that I have at least a some money. During all the discussions of OTC activity, she never once mentioned money, just that she needs a distraction and she thinks we'd have fun together. I full expect to get hit up for money for her time and I don't have a problem with that. My concern would be if this is a scam and I end up on the wrong end of an extortion grab. So guys and gals, help me with the following:
1) does this seem like a woman who is legit or a scam? 2) how much additional risk am I running given that she knows my full name (even though I live in a city that is nowhere near her)? 3) if I were to move forward, what's the right play in reaching back out to her given that I won't be in the same town as her for a couple of weeks?
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Also, was that a company provided cell phone you used to text her? Because that would actually be "mistake 1".
The escort thought crossed my mind but doesn’t add up, why not take me up on it that night and why wait three hours for me to bring it up? I’ve never seen it done that way, doesn’t really add up.
I’m ok with her wanting more of my money, all women do in one way or another, but PhatBoys comments ring true, just smells like something could be rotten.
I’m probably thinking with my little head but the other side of me says the city is well known for ladies looking for an arrangement, which I wouldn’t mind. It also seems strange to me that she hasn’t reached back out since I emailed her with my contact info on Thursday. Most girls I know who are trying to sell something are pretty aggressive about it. Maybe she’s working a slow play.
Anyway, thanks for the feedback, if anyone has any additional advice I’d appreciate it.
Do you have a wife or significant other? Do you have a career that could be derailed a stripper? If so, you should forget her. If not, you may want to go ahead. She will, for sure, want to be paid. Decide on the top amount you are willing to pay (like $400) and start negotiating from a lower amount. Never pay in advance.
In all of this I am not saying don't do it, just look at the downsides in a clear way. If you do decide to do it I have advice which is: Don't ever piss her off! My CF is a stripper who is an occasional rob but she only goes after guys who do something to cross her.
The risk/downside for me is significant, which is why I’m concerned about walking into a scam. If it’s not a scam, but rather someone legitimately looking for an OTC funded arrangement I may be willing to live with the risk. Your advice on not to forget what’s at stake is well heard, I had a buddy who dated a SC bartender / occasional dancer, they both caught feeling (him of lust, her of $) and he started telling her he was going to leave his home situation to be with her full time. When he backed out multiple times she burnt everything to the ground.
"Fuck it, bang her and have fun. Life is short."
I skimmed the post and I think I get the gist. I doubt very much this is anything more than P4P. Dancer in mid-thirties with kids probably needs money desperately to support her family. Or maybe she sees you as a more permanent source of support. I personally filter out anyone in that category.
So she knows your identity and lives in a different city. You're more likely to get hit by a meteor than getting extorted.
Just ask her directly if this is something paid and go for it you find her attractive; you're way overthinking things.
Her husband knows she needs to build a client list and keeping up with customers is part of the profession. I would be surprised if shes not married or her husband will be in on it.
Just be careful, go with your gut, and always remember shes just a stripper. Dont lose your balls over this.
Unfortunately for the people I work with, I’m the boss so they have to listen to my shit all the time ;-)
As to whether it's something nefarious; none of us have a crystal-ball - unlikely it's some kinda scam but not a zero-chance of it not being a scam; just unlikely - many on here have been in the game a long time and been posting here a long time and running into scams/extortion is not something I can recall someone posting about - most common issues w/ OTC are the girl flaking-out or lying to get $$$ (my dad is in the hospital and I need $2000).
There are certain things that are kosher when dealing w/ strippers - not giving one's full name nor any real details (address; ph #; social media; etc) - and usually not a good idea to meet in one's house or their house unless they've known the dancer for a good-while.
Impossible to know for sure if she has ulterior motives - since you don't know *exactly* what she wants you have to analyze exactly what *you* want - often times we guys are sorta mentally trained to never say no to an attractive chick that is willing to have sex w/ us; as we have to do it - but you gotta ask yourself if an affair (vs P4P) is really want you want and are looking for - if you're just looking to get some pussy on the side then P4P may be the best way to go and just keep it as business - o/w it can get entangled.
99% of women in strip-clubs are there b/c they need/want $$$; not b/c they are freaks w/ high sex-drives looking for sex; although the latter does def exist it's just not nearly the norm.
On the surface it seems this would be more of an affair than P4P - if having an affair is something you think you can handle, or want, then it may be worthwhile to pursue this if she's someone you wanna be banging on the regular - if you are just looking for any side-pussy then best to stick w/ P4P IMO w/ someone that knows nothing about you and just wants to get paid.
Then get more information about her, in today's internet/social media world, you should be able to find good information about who she really is.
Then set the relationship as a sugar baby/mistress/friend-with-benefits type of relationship if you want.
Like many people in this site points out you are the one with the money, you should make it a win win situation and experience.
Think about the worst that could happen, and if you can handle it, go for it.
Remember if you are going to play the game learn the rules.
Most Tuscl experienced members have learned to play like the gambler:
Know when to hold them,
Know when to fold them
Know when to walk away
Know when to run...
The secret is to get OTC with a Dream Stripper and both walk away from it happy about the exchange.
Please let us know what happens.
Definitely use dust, or signal and set disappearing messages....that way when her husband reads her texts there is nothing there.
Plenty of good advice from more experience people in this thread. Just wanted to let you know that your story is actually quite interesting and I hope it works out for you. Keep us updated!