Some final thoughts on SA
BurlingtonHoFactory
New Jersey, near the Shore
- By my count, I received messages from around 230 different potential SBs over the course of the month. Most of the time they messaged me first; I sent the initial message in less than a dozen cases. I don't know if this is a typical amount of activity for the average SD or not.
- Last month, SA temporarily shut their website down for maintenance. To compensate, they offered me 5 free Promotions. Once a Promotion has been activated, SA will place your profile at the top of relevant searches for 24 hours. I activated a few of these Promotions during my membership period and the response was significant. Lots of attention. In addition to that, I logged in at least once every day, all month long, to search for new (and newly active) profiles. And I must have "Liked" at least 5 profiles per day. Sending Likes is a good way to break the ice.
- I ended up being intimate in one way or another with 8 different women and I currently have tentative plans to meet with three others (although one of them is very flaky, and I'm on the fence about the other two). Among the ones I've met, they range in age from 20 to 40, and one of the potential future dates is 49. Another potential future date is 44, but she's so ridiculously hot that I don't believe her pictures are real.
- Among the ones I've met, by my standards, their looks range from a "meh" 5 to a solid 9. Almost all of them were white, with one Latina and one mixed-race thrown in as well. All my dates were American-born. One of them is literally a state-wide beauty pageant winner. Seriously. But she's expensive.
- One thing to keep in mind: I live a little over an hour north of Atlantic City, which is an area that has been very slow to recover from the Great Recession and the housing crash. So for the rest of you guys it's 2018 and the economy is strong, and the SBs can afford to be selective. But down in Atlantic City, it's still 2011 and everything is still shitty, and lots of sluts are in need of assistance. Think about it.
- Having said that, I also got a shit ton of messages from Manhattan, and I turned them all down. I refuse to travel to an area where there's no parking just to get laid. I texted for a while with an NYU student in Manhattan just before her graduation, but I feel kind of bad about leading her on. I haven't spoken with her since.
- In addition, I got several messages from other parts of the country and quite a few from overseas, including South Africa, Germany, France, Jamaica, Venezuela, Colombia, Indonesia, and Ethiopia. Very flattering. But really strange.
- Only two of the girls gave any indication that they might be "professionals". One told me that she was a hair stylist, I think, but I subsequently saw her picture on the website of a local strip club. (I had my suspicions to begin with because she basically acted like a hooker.) And I suspect that one of the other girls is a part-time low-volume escort, but I can't tell for certain. All of the others are definitely civilians with day-jobs. My favorite thing about SA, the thing that sets it apart from other forms of mongering, is that the girls seem to get turned on very easily. I can't speak for everyone but whenever I'm with an escort or a stripper, their snatches are usually as dry as the Sahara. I think this is due to volume: these girls are fucking 5 or more guys per day, and it's probably hard to keep getting it wet. So that's a definite plus for the Arrangement girls.
- I'm sure that I will sign up for another membership again some day, but for now I'm on hiatus. I'm juggling way too many women for any one man to handle. And I have to confess to feeling a touch of guilt every time I meet one of these chicks for the first time. Every one of them has been willing to accept PPM, but I'm sure that they really want an allowance. Now obviously, I can afford to pay an allowance - after all, I spent thousands of dollars over the course of this month. But I just don't want to. So in the meantime, as Subraman and others have said, Splenda Daddies like me are turning these girls into something that they don't really want to be. It's a conundrum. I know that no one has a gun to their heads. We'll see how it works out.
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The good news is, you don't have to feel bad about this part. Everyone, even long time "high end" sugarbabies, expect PPM to start. They know it's not fair to ask you for a month allowance up front, before you even know how compatible you are or have any trust built up -- just like they wouldn't accept your offer of "I'll give you the allowance at the END of the month", for the same reasons . No one needs to feel bad about PPM, 100% of the girls I've spoken with find it acceptable, and many feel it's preferable at first -- the legit girls don't want the pressure of HAVING to perform for a month.
On the other hand, I *would* feel bad about using these girls for one-and-done, if there were explicit or implied understanding about wanting an actual arrangement. Arrangements don't have to be exclusive, but do imply something ongoing. Have you seen any of them more than once?
-->"I can't speak for everyone but whenever I'm with an escort or a stripper, their snatches are usually as dry as the Sahara."
I find the experience with escorts in general is just not really satisfying. I'd pick SA or stripper OTC 1000 out of 1000 times, over an escort, even having to deal with stripper flakiness, SA scammers, etc
-->"- One thing to keep in mind: I live a little over an hour north of Atlantic City, which is an area that has been very slow to recover from the Great Recession and the housing crash. So for the rest of you guys it's 2018 and the economy is strong, and the SBs can afford to be selective. But down in Atlantic City, it's still 2011 and everything is still shitty, and lots of sluts are in need of assistance. Think about it."
Lucky bastard. At least in this case!
I've seen three of them more than once, with the expectation that I'll continue to see them regularly. With all the others, it's been a one-off thing. One of these girls is very new at sugaring (or so she claims) and she says that she doesn't ever want to meet anyone else on SA except for me. I've been trying to explain to her that she can make so much more money by entering an arrangement with a legitimately rich guy, but she kind of clings to me. It feels weird to be someone's father figure at my age, but I guess that's what I am to her. Sort of.
Not sure when I’ll resub, given the new pricing, but who knows? Strippers are still my first choice, but I won’t eschew SA.
Well, the typical MO is for them to ask if I have a condom with me. Then, when I say that I don't, the reactions vary. Only one of them said that she wasn't comfortable with BB, so we just did oral and fingering. But I've only seen her once, and perhaps she would feel differently the second time around. Two others went BB with almost no hesitation whatsoever, only asking that I not cum inside them. A few other girls asked me if I'd been tested recently; since I was feeling chivalrous, I suppose, I answered truthfully that it's been several months, so we ended up just doing mutual oral on the first date (by my own choice). But I subsequently did get a clean bill of health prior to the second date with at least one of these girls. Another girl I recall had condoms in her nightstand, but I told her that I usually can't feel anything with a rubber and that we don't have to "go all the way" the first time anyway. On my second date with her, after I got tested, she actually initiated bareback. But strangely, I hadn't even told her that I'd been tested yet LOL. I guess she was just more comfortable with me during the second encounter. So the general pattern is that they are definitely more likely to do BB than the average sex worker. (Not that I haven't met a whole bunch of strippers and even escorts who will play Russian Roulette in my time as well.)
Yep, you hit the nail on the head. I've found the range to be $200 to 400, but 300 is easily the most common price. Of course there are so many factors. Some girls want 500, but as soon as I tell them that I'll have to think about it, the price quickly comes down to 300.
So what if you got the feelz for one of these girls @Burlington? Would you try for unpaid vanilla dating?
Since PPM is contrary to the stated goal of SA, setting up SD/SB arrangements, I’m always curious about what’s driving these women who say they would never be a prostitute. Two of the women I’ve met clearly do it as an occasional thing for the extra cash. The third, I’m fairly certain, was being driven to do it by a lazy-ass, drug-addicted, abusive, good-for-nothing boyfriend. That’s the only one I felt badly about afterwards.
I've had similar experiences, and I'm glad to see your pricing is right in line with what I'm seeing locally, Ho. Although today I was chatting with one, in another state I'm traveling to, and her opening $ was $600 for PPM...I told her I'd love to, but that's more than I can spend. We are chatting again tomorrow, and I'm hopeful she'll come down to $300 where I want to be.
Would I consider unpaid vanilla dating? Right now I have two favorite SBs: a 20-year-old college student and a woman who is only a few years older than I am. With the college kid, I've actually told her several times that I wish I was 10 years younger because I would ask her out on a real date. I've jokingly asked her, if I were more age-appropriate whether I would have a shot with her, and of course she said yes (but then again, what else could she have said?).
The older woman is divorced, has a few kids, owns a really beautiful home, drives a much nicer car than I ever have, and probably makes more money than I do. I'm not sure if she's put two and two together yet and realized that she's more established than I am. Regardless, although she seems to like me almost as much as I like her, I certainly don't expect her to offer to fuck me for free. The market will bear whatever it will bear. Besides, I'm comforted in the knowledge that she charges other guys more than she charges me (or so she says).
The thing is, paying for it comes with a sense of freedom. I can come and go as I please. There's no expectation of monogamy. I can break it off whenever I want to with almost no difficulty. I don't have to have a two hour phone conversation whenever one of them has had a bad day. Hell, I can show up to their place in a t-shirt and sweatpants if I want to. I'm the customer, after all. And the customer is always right. Having said that, as I said, I really do like some of them. And logically, I know this can't go on forever. That'll be a tough conversation.
Exactly. I think maybe these girls really believe that a guy is going to set up a recurring direct deposit for them and then forget about it for a few years or something. It's silly, right?
Also, about your girl opening with a offer of $600, and georgmicrodong's girl who wanted $1,000, come to think of it now, I remember being messaged by this one girl who was trying to get me into a bidding war with some other guys. She said she had one guy up in Connecticut, I think, who was offering her $5,000/month or thereabouts, with few strings attached. And she also had some lower offers from closer to home. But she basically wanted me to compete with them. Don't get me wrong, she was one fine piece of ass. Unbelievable muscle tone, an ass that won't quit, cleavage for days, etc. But how can I realistically compete with $5k per month when I really just want to pay her $300 or 400 and then probably never see her again? I advised her to take the offer. She was pretty gracious about it but she seems to still be on SA. Anyway, it shows that there are some girls who want the promise of an allowance right away, and some of them will start the bidding at unrealistic levels.
That 20-yr-old, and especially that NUY student, would be just my speed.
If I were single, I might use SA as a sort of hybrid dating site. It's not that uncommon for sugar couples to fall in love -- at least if the age difference is not ridiculous. FWIR, the "talent" on SA is better than what you might find on Tinder.
You had much bettter luck than I did, most of the “ladies” I encountered were either flakes, or phony’s!
MTV could easily have a second Catfish show strictly based on this website and it would kill in the ratings!
D-
Probably 95% of the guys are chasing the same 5% of the girls on SA. You will have markedly different experiences depending on how picky you are.
Same. I'm not looking for anything close to the experience BHo is looking for, but frankly I couldn't pull it off even if I were
-->" @Burlington finds Stormy Daniels attractive and is willing to pay for a 40-yr-old divorcee. I wouldn't have the slightest interest in either."
Exactly -- that's what I was getting at with the "maybe he's concentrating more at the 5 end of his 5-9 range". Add in the fact that he's making "creative and bold" choices in women :), plus living in a relatively economically challenged area, plus all that 6'4" of daddy, plus concentrating on the kind of girls who will skip the M&G and go right to intimacy, all adds up to more opportunity for him than to me.
But I should also point out that I caught a cold at some point due to my escapades, and I was out of commission for about a week, so that should be taken into consideration, too. However, during the week that I was sick, I was still in touch with at least one SB per day, at a minimum, via text and online messaging.
The majority of my dates occurred during the first 10 days of my membership, during which time I had almost one encounter per day.
As for my pickyness, that's a tough one to debate. I happen to think that Stormy Daniels is an 8, but that's my own idiosyncratic opinion. I also always thought that Julia Roberts, Katie Holmes, and Mila Kunis, for example, are like 6s, at best, especially by Hollywood standards. Reasonable people will disagree. I'm trying to think of some celebrities that I can compare my SA dates to, but I'm mostly drawing a blank. One of them looks a little like Sofia Vergara. I think all of them could find plenty of work in the porn industry, but none of them could find work in Hollywood. (But then again, even Glenn Close managed to find work in Hollywood, so what the hell do I know? There's no accounting for taste LOL). Having said that, one of my dates has actually filmed a few reality shows. So good for her.
Anyway, I happen to think my 40-year-old is very pretty. She's shown me the volume of messages that she receives from potential SDs, so I know I'm not alone in my thinking.
As for my location, yes, as I mentioned Atlantic City is still suffering, and I did receive a lot of messages from that area. But that doesn't explain all the messages that I received from Manhattan, etc.
I think my activity level on the site is the best explanation. The more often you log on to the site, the more likely that your profile will show up in someone's search results, leading to more messages, more dates, more fucking, etc.
SJG
I think this is a huge part of it. You might be as picky as any of us, but you're attracted to women that far fewer guys are attracted to. Or, to put it snarkily, you're lucky enough to think Sizzler steaks are better than Ruth's Chris. I think all the things you've touched on make sense, but I have to think the fact that you're pursuing women who don't have lots of options must be a huge part of it -- and perhaps also tied into why you're running into so many women who go the extra mile to please (sex at first meeting, unprotected). I guarantee if someone who looked like Mila Kunis was on the site, none of us here would be getting her, she'd be pursued by guys with girthy throbbing budgets.
LOL
LOL, I didn't say I'm into ugly chicks, but I do get your point. The thing you have to remember about me is that I'm a fool for tits. Just an absolute retard for tits. Big round asses, too. If I had to sit and think about the hottest celebrities, my list would include Katy Perry, Christina Hendricks, Kate Upton, Kim Kardashian, Charlotte McKinney, Nicki Minaj, Jennifer Love Hewitt, etc. These are all controversial. Some of you guys will look at them and say "hey, wait a second... these are all fat chicks!" Well, I don't agree. But I will admit that my preference for big tits and asses has led me to fuck a handful of fat chicks in my time. I'll cop to that.
Also, I think I've only met one 10 in my entire life, and that was Angela White (my avatar). To some guys, she's fat, too. I couldn't disagree more, but as I said, there's no accounting for taste.
Oh, before I forget, another fact about my SA experience: I don't have many pictures on my profile, but I do show my face. I didn't use any filters or enhancements, but it still took me quite a while to get the photo just right. I think the girls like to know what they're getting into, just as much as we do, so showing your face is a good idea. That's my advice to anyone who's interested.
Also, make sure to Like as many profiles as you're interested in. It really helps. You risk absolutely nothing by giving someone a Like.
Let's see, what else.... I wasn't particularly aggressive at first about asking for numbers or asking for dates. Later on, when my membership was getting ready to expire, I became much more proactive about giving out my number, etc. Well, in my experience, being less aggressive worked much better. They would often ask for my phone number after a few messages anyway, and then you're free to begin discussing price, politely, via text message. I hope this is helpful to someone.
Haha, that's a little mean-spirited, isn't it? Would you turn all those celebrities down? Who would you prefer instead?
Yes, but to compromise I drew a face on the dick-pic. That's what the ladies want to see ;)
My experience is that most women want to meet ASAP but I like to plan a couple of weeks in advance. By the time I weed out the girls who won't plan, maybe 5% of the legit messages turn out. Of those, I am very picky with whom I spend my money. It's my money so I'm not going to pay for a woman who is less attractive than what I can already get offline.
I have an SA date Saturday but she wants me to bring an STD test and I don't have time to get one this week so I'm debating on cancelling since I'm not meeting if action isn't guaranteed. I also have a one-on-one business meeting with an attractive woman late Friday afternoon. She knows I usually quit work around 2 on Fridays and she wanted to meet at 4. I imagine we'll end up at a bar and I've been confident for a while that there's mutual attraction.